Well, the end is near. No, not the end of the world (though it wouldn’t surprise me, and I’d be hard-pressed to come up with a reason why we – as a species – don’t deserve to be replaced by a new, improved model), but the end of my summer in DC. While I’ll be back in January, I hope to never again be forced to spend more than a few days here. Not in a fucking dorm room, certainly, and not without a hell of a lot more money (and a house with a back yard). Even then, I wouldn’t exactly jump at the chance.

Oh, there are things I’ll miss, of course. The heat and humidity, to be sure, and the view of the homeless people living under the bridges as I ride the train through what I would describe as the “asshole” of Washington DC, if I didn’t know that the real asshole (when he’s not on vacation) lives on Pennsylvania Avenue.

I’ll miss being assaulted by the stench of sewer gas rising up from the shower drains, and I’ll miss the petitle little fella with less whiskers than you’d find on a newborn baby’s ass (who lathers up with a quarter inch of shaving cream every morning and spends an hour shaving and preening in front of the mirror in his stupid yellow towel – always using the sink next to the fucking paper town dispenser, the selfish prick). In fact, I’ll miss all these kids, who look (to me, anyway) as if they’re playing dress up, putting on their suits and skirts, and trying to look like grownups. Hell, I have underwear older than they are (sure, it’s my emergency backup underwear, but still…).

I’ll miss having to rearrange my shitty little refrigerator every time I want to get something out or put something back in again, and I’ll miss eating canned shit and boxed shit and cold shit and not quite cooked coffee-flavored (because it’s impossible to really get anything washed out in these shallow little bathroom sinks) ramen noodles, shit.

When I got here back on May 31st, there was still a Marc Maron show, and I thought maybe if we gave AAR a kick in the ass, they’d syndicate the goddman show aready. Now the show’s been gone for – what – two or three weeks already? Long enough for the hangover I had from staying up all night blogging and drinking beer to wear off. And that’s something I really do miss (the show, not the hangover). Especially on the ride home today, when I’d normally have a week’s worth of Maron saved up to keep me company.

Anyhow, at some point this morning (after the relatively light Friday morning rush hour traffic dies down), I’ll be leaving here, and heading home (and I should be there with plenty of time to spare to catch SciFi Friday – not to mention Monk and Psych). Before I go, I’d just like to think you all for keeping me company over the past two and a half months. While this isn’t exactly a horrible place (when you look at what’s going on all over the world – not just the Middle East, which of course gets all the attention, but in the forgotten and ignored places, like Africa, parts of South and Central America, and plenty of places right here in the good old US of A – it seems pretty “American” to bitch about a room with a roof, a bed, indoor plumbing, air conditioning – most of the time – cable TV, and high-speed Internet access), it still kinda sucks, and the MS bloggers have been like a family, keeping me company, and helping me forget – at least for little stretches of time – how much I miss home.

So anyhow, thanks for hangin’ out, and I’ll catch up with you later. Have a good Friday, wish me a traffic-friendly trip back, and if you’re out there in LA, get out to the UCB Theater, and see Mishna and then Marc tonight. See ya.