Twas the day before Christmas, and what do we see? A buncha fuckin’ wingnuts, all over the teevee.

On Press the Meat, Timmy Potatohead tries to infuse us with some of that old-time religion, as he hosts Rick Warren, Pastor of the Saddleback Church (who is apparently a bit controversial with the rest of the Christo-fascist zombie brigade, having deigned to invite that heathen Barack Obama to speak at his church), and Newsweek editor, author of “American Gospel,” and smug self-righteous DC “insider,” John Meachem. Then it’ll be the ghost of Robert Frost, and a stirring combination of death and Christianity, as the United States Navy Band Brass Quartet favors us with a few holiday ditties.

Over on CBS’s Faze the Nation, Bush Buddy Bobby Schieffer gets an exclusive one-on-one with Thorazine Queen Laura Bush, who will be on to talk about the shin tumor she had removed, and whether or not it was more qualified to be president than that dry (at best) drunk moron she’s shacked up with.

Over on the Goebbels Network, George Snufalufagus has the day’s token Democrat, Chris Dodd, on with li’l Lindsey Graham, to talk about what a great idea it is to send a “surge” of troops to Iraq. Plus, new UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon will be on for some holiday talk of genocide in Darfur, and war in Iraq. Then George Bush the first and his evil hag of a wife Barbara are on to talk about how well the colored folks from New Orleans are doing, and to talk about the work of the Salvation Army (hopefully their idiot son isn’t planning on deploying them to Iraq). And, proving once again that you can, in fact, put a square head around a Roundtable, it’s George :jerk: Will, plus ABC reporter Jonathan Karl, and Melinda Henneberger of HuffingtonPost.com.

Over at Fux News Sunday, it’s Mrs. Darth Cheney, whose lesbian fantasy novel turned their daughter Mary gay. Fuxface Chris Wallace will also have the archbishop of Washington DC, Donald Wuerhl, and Billy Graham’s daughter. Wow, better fire up the DVR for that one.

Over at Wolf Blitzer’s Late Emission, it’s your chance to see all those interviews you weren’t interested in the first time around, as Wolfie reruns his greatest hits, including such classic guests as the Chimp in Chief, his pet Lizard Queen, and of course Lynne Cheney. Plus Wolfie will toss in a few token Democrats, and maybe some Arabs and Israeli’s for good measure.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Scott Pelley does a story on ocean swimmer Lynne Cox, Lesley Stahl reports on Rex, who was born blind and with severe brain damage, but plays a mean piano, and Bob Simon visits the elephant orphanage.

No Simspons tonight, but you can watch Spiderman on Fox instead, or, better yet, catch It’s a Wonderful Life on NBC. Yeah, you’ve seen it a billion times, but what the hell, it’s still a classic. Then put some cookies out for Santa, and get to bed early.

Have a good Sunday.