Jesus died for your sins. Deal with it!

Speaking of sins, on Press the Meat batshit crazy Kate O’Beirne (please, tell me that’s her married name, and she’s not really Irish; it’s bad enough we’re stuck with O’Reilly, Buchanan, and Colin Quinn) joins Timmy Potatohead, along with David Gregory, Judy Woodruff, and Chuck “I never met a Republican I didn’t like Todd. I hate to be superficial, but when I look at Todd, the word “asswipe” jump jumps into my head.

Over at CBS, bush buddy Bobby Schieffer is joined by Mike “Huckleberry” Huckabee, who thinks he’s a presidential candidate, WaPost Deputy Editorial Page editor, Colbert I. King, and Mike Allen, of the perpetually inaccurate (and basically worthless) collection of hacks known as Politico.com.

On Fux News Sunday, weaselface Wallace hosts Chuck and Newt (why Newt? I mean, Chuck is at least a US Senator, Newt’s just a disgraced hypocrite with a really stupid name), plus Bill Buckley’s boy Christopher.

Over at the Goebbels network (home of the “Pelosi’s Syria Visit a Felony?” headline), George Snufalufagus hosts Carl Levin, and Krazy Jon Kyl, plus John and Teresa Kerry on their new book “This Moment on Earth,” (also known as, “Hey, if I write a pro-envionemnt book, will everybody like me the way they like Al Gore again?” and Walter Isaacson on Einstein’s faith (and presumably how he’d probaly not have tried to ban science in schools).

Wolf Blitzer’s Late Emission includes impotent Republican Sen. Arlen Specter, disgusting Republican Sen. Joey Lieberman, Tommy “I got about as much chance becoming President as Mike Huckabee” Thompson, and Vincent Gardenia in drag, Madeleine Albright.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Scott Pelley talks to straight talkin’ (straight out of his ass), brave walkin’ (as long as he’s guarded by 100 soldiers and a few attack helicopters), maverick John McCain. Then Morley Safer doesn a story on Rich Berman, the brave lobbyist who crusades against such evils as animal rights, healthy food, labor unions, and Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Finally, Steve Kroft does a story on success of the French Nuclear Power program (all that, and fast trains too? Bloody frogs).

But of course, we need to remember what’s truly important on this most sacred of days. The Sopranos return tonight at 9:00 on HBO.