Yeah, I know, Columbus was an asshole. A scam artist and religious zealot willing to kill as many people as it took in order to bring about the rapture. He’d have made a good Republican. But, you gotta give him one thing. He somehow got credit for “discovering” a place that not only had other Europeans already been there first, but there happened to be millions of human beings already living there at the time. Plus, the dumb fuck thought he was in Asia. And now he gets a holiday named after him. Go figure. But, what the hell. A day off is a day off.