Oh, those wacky young Republicans. This kid who made up the fake mugging and ‘B’ carving attack sure seems to have a screw loose (but then, anybody that would vote for McCain isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed to begin with).

On Friday, when she admitted the story was fabricated, Todd told police she believes she cut the backward “B” onto her own cheek, but she didn’t explain how or why, Bryant said.

“She said she doesn’t remember doing it but knows it must have been her who did it,” Bryant said, according to the Tribune-Review.

Well, that excuse worked for Reagan and Iran-Contra, so I guess it’s worth a shot.

Todd reportedly said she thought of Barack Obama when she saw the “B” on her cheek and minutes later “came up what a plan” to manufacture the story, according to Bryant.

She now tells investigators she was neither robbed nor attacked.

Yeah, if I had a nickle for every time I discovered a upside down and backwards letter carved into my face, I wouldn’t have to worry about going to work on Monday. I don’t know that the first thing I’d think of was ‘Barack,’ but then I’m not a sexually repressed young white girl obsessed by that forbidden dark meat (though it looks like lots of white folks want themselves some Obama this year). I’d most likely be thinking the goddamn aliens had picked me up again, and instead of coming up with some bullshit story to tell the cops, I’d just call Coast to Coast AM or something. Better a ‘B’ carved into my face than an anal probe (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

But that’s just me.

Speaking of crazy Republicans, it looks like batshit crazy Michele Bachman has a new ad out, trying to control the damage from having let it slip out that she’s a McCarthyite. Poor, poor Michele. Imagine if she actually loses to a guy named Elwyn Tinkelberg. How embarrassing. I think she ought to try carving a backwards ‘E’ into her face, and see how that works out.

And the future isn’t looking too bright for Caribou Barbie if she can’t ride McCain to victory (now there’s a disturbing thought) in November. Seems all those frothing Republicans at the RNC may have soured on her a bit. A Newsweek poll asks:

If John McCain is not elected president, which one of the following three possible candidates would you be most likely to support for the Republican presidential nomination in 2012?

Mitt Romney 35%
Mike Huckabee 26%
Sarah Palin 20%

If I’m a Republican, I think I gotta ask to see a different menu. Or maybe become a Whig.