So I guess President Obama won’t be wanting me to work in his administration. Not that I’ve heard back from him since I filled out his ‘long form’ application. Apparently there’s an even longer form required for aspiring Obamites, who are expected to provide an unprecedented amount of information.

In 63 questions over seven pages, prospective White House employees are being asked — in addition to questions about finances, gun ownership and, possibly, flossing habits — to list “all aliases or ‘handles’ you have used to communicate on the Internet,” everything they’ve written, “including, but not limited to, any posts or comments on blogs or other websites,” links to their Facebook or MySpace pages and any potentially embarrassing “electronic communication, including but not limited to an email, text message or instant message.”

Oy. Why not add Google image searches and web browsing history to the list, too?

Well, sorry ‘O’ but I don’t think I’d be willing to do all that. It’s not like I’ve been palin’ around with terrorists or have some wacko former preacher of mine on videotape screaming ‘God damn America,’ (sometimes it pays to be a godless heathen) but you can kiss my ass if you think I’m going to list every ‘potentially embarrassing’ freakin’ e-mail and text message I’ve ever written.

I pretty much only have one online ‘persona,’ and I’m pretty sure all you’d have to do is spend a couple minutes poking around this blog to find some disqualifying thought crime. Lots of them, no doubt (I do have a tendency to say ‘fuck’ on occasion, which ought to do it right there). Hell, my baby photo alone is probably enough to keep me out of your inner circle.

I guess I’m not too surprised, what with Obama ‘caving’ on FISA and Teleco immunity (although, in retrospect, it doesn’t look so much like caving on principles as much as clarifying them).

Too bad, too, since the NY State Comptroller is predicting a loss of as many as 225,000 private sector jobs here (175,000 in NY City, but we’ve lost so many jobs upstate over the years that I don’t know where another 50,000 will come from), which translates into a huge loss of tax revenue, which aint good for those of us in the public sector. So I coulda used that job as your Telecom Czar there, Barack, and I dare day I’d have been a good fit, too.

Except I reckon I’m way too Liberal for you.