Willie!I’ll miss Texas. I’ve never actually been there, but I often enjoy Austin City Limits. And I like Lyle Lovett (never could understand what he saw in Julia Roberts, but love is a funny thing) and Willie Nelson. Still, I’m looking at the 2000 Presidential election, and without Texas it looks like Gore 266 – Bush 239 (Kerry would still have come out on the short end, 252-251, but I hear Georgia is looking to secede, too). Plus, Texas is the second largest recipient of Federal tax dollars (California being #1 and New York being #3).

Of course, Texas rakes in more than they pay out, unlike both NY and CA, which both pay out way more than they see from the Feds. And, if we believe the assertion that capital punishment is a deterrent to murder while noting that Texas’ per capita murder rate is above the national average (20th in the US) even though they execute more people than anybody (and have the second highest per capita execution rate), we have to conclude that Texas is full of cold-blooded killers. Either that or the death penalty isn’t much of a deterrent – and we all know that can’t be true.

Oh, I reckon we’ll miss their oil. But without the Texas oil lobby writing our energy policy, maybe we can get off the fossil fuel, and stop spending trillions protecting US oil interests in the Middle East. We’d also be able to funnel more FEMA dollars into helping out LA, FL, the other Gulf and coastal states during hurricane season if we didn’t have to spend it on Houston, Galveston, etc.

I don’t eat beef, so they can keep their cattle (there’s always Canada for the meatheads out there; if we wanted to keep it an even 50 states, we could invite Ontario to join, but we’d have to get our shit together and enact universal health care first), and I’m not sure what else Texas has (unless there’s a market for brush, tumbleweeds, and road apples out there that I’m not aware of).

Plus, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but God seems to hate Texas; seems like it’s always either flooded or drought-stricken. If being a good Christian is supposed to afford you a “protective shield” from God, then somebody’s not getting the job done down there.

So, yeah, I’ll miss Texas, and I feel bad for all the good folks in the Lone Star State, but between the drain on the Federal treasury, the corrupt politicians, the cold-blooded killers, and it being god-forsaken, I guess if they want to go, well, so be it. Whether Texans want to see if they can get a better deal from Mexico, or just become free-agents (they can even elect dubya President of Texas), I wish them all the best.

Vaya con Dios amigos!