Poor Michael Jackson. Must be that we, as a nation, are finally over the paralyzing grief that gripped us after his passing (how we got through this without Mort Mortenson, I’ll never know). I know this because the top story on the Weekend Today Show was that the octomom now says implanting 8 embryos was, perhaps, a mistake. Gee, ya think?

In other news, 3 American hikers are believed to have been captured by Iranian military forces. Far be it for me to blame the victims, but, really? Hiking in (or anywhere near) Iran? Are you people stupid or what? Were all the tours to North Korea booked? I think a little common sense is in order here. I mean, they aren’t that crazy about us in France, fer chrissakes, and you go to Iran? They haven’t published their identities yet, but if they’re named Goldfarb, Shapiro, and Wollowitz, these people are fucked.

Henry Louis Gates apparently sent flowers to Lucia Whalen, who made the 911 call that started the whole Harvard Professor v. Cambridge Police “brewhaha.” Oy, first being black and cranky in his own home, and now trying to pick up a white chick in Boston? He’s really gonna get his ass kicked now (he might as well go hiking in Iran).

Well, I reckon I’d better get busy, but I’ll leave you with this touching (yet a little bit creepy) story of woman whose nose was shot off and replaced by doctors who grew the replacement nose on her arm.

Honest.