Just in case you thought it was only the US arm of the Murdoch “news” empire that’s a bunch of morons, we bring you Kay Burley of Sky News (Murdoch’s News Corp. owns somewhere in the neighborhood of 40% of British Sky Broadcasting – not that anybody cares, but I need more words here to get the text to wrap properly around this picture). Burley – who is apparently Catholic, for gosh sakes – wondered just what the hell was going on with the bruise on Joe Biden’s forehead.

“What’s happened to his head?” Burley asked on Sky News. “I’m sure that’s what everyone’s asking at home…it looks like he’s walked into a door!”

Her equally brilliant co-host speculated that perhaps Joe had slipped on the ice in Vancouver (apparently they’re not aware that it’s been in the 50’s in Vancouver this week – or perhaps they thought the VP was out wandering around the “killer” bobsled run). Alas, Joe is a nice Catholic boy, and the “bruise” on his head was just his Ash Wednesday ashes. There are at least some differences between Sky and Fow, though. When Burley realized what an idiot she was, she ‘fessed up and apologized.

“I know that I am a very bad Catholic,” Burley said. “I know now that it is Ash Wednesday and I know that those are ashes on his forehead. I hang my head in shame. I’ll be back in just a moment.”

Speaking of Fox, Michelle Obama will be making her Fox debut this Saturday with Mike Huckabee (who apparently has a show; I had no idea, but then why would I?). She and the Huckster will talk about how awful it is to be fat (Kevin Smith would make a great surprise guest for this segment), though they’ll talk abotu other things, like “including what life is like at the White House.” That’s about as close as you’re gonna get to it, Mikey.

As for Michelle’s husband, he’s apparently willing to go on the Daily Show, but is apparently (and appropriately) terrified of Stephen Colbert.

“I think the President would love to,” Gibbs said when asked if President Obama would appear on “The Daily Show.” “Just maybe not Colbert,” he said.

Gibbs explained his reasoning for avoiding Colbert: “I have yet to see a politician best Stephen Colbert in an interview on his show. I mean, he’s really, really good.”

Big mistake, in my opinion. Obama could be Colbert’s new “black friend.”

First, Levi knocks up Bristol. A shotgun marriage is quickly arranged, but Sarah’s a loser, so the marriage never occurs. Then Levi disses Sarah. Sarah disses Levi. “Yes she did.” “No I di-int.” Levi does a photo-shoot for Playgirl. Now Bristol is going after Levi for more child support money.

The lawyer for Sarah Palin’s kid is scoffing at legal docs filed by Levi’s lawyer — docs claiming Levi made but a pittance over the last few years and should not have to pay $1,688.42 a month in child support – which is what Bristol wants.

Sounds a lot like an episode of ‘Trailer Park Boys.’

Speaking of trailer trash, Tiger Woods will be making a public statement on Friday. This is big news (I feel compelled to point that out, as you may, for some reason, not really give a shit).

Woods will apologize for his behavior, his agent Mark Steinberg said Wednesday. No questions will be allowed.

“While Tiger feels that what happened is fundamentally a matter between he and his wife, he also recognizes that he has hurt and let down a lot of other people who were close to him,” Steinberg said in an e-mail.

Didn’t he already do that, like, a couple months ago? I didn’t care then, so why would I care now? Although I did hear a couple of pretty good Tiger Woods jokes.

Rumor has it a certain SU alum and his boss will be attending the Georgetown basketball game tonight in DC, as Georgetown takes on…um…let me see…I had it here a couple of minutes ago. Oh well, whoever they’re playing tonight, let’s hope the Hoyas lose. Otherwise, you might find me a little grumpy tomorrow morning.