Mmmm. Federal aid for college students. Mmmm. Health care reform. HEY! You got your student aid all over my health care reform! You got your health care reform all over my student aid! Hey, wait a minute…. This is good! That’s right. Can’t pass HCR? Can’t expand federal aid for college students? Well, let’s put ’em together and see what happens. At the very least, it ought to make ferret face McConnell’s head explode. You know what? Let’s throw in legislation making it illegal to drown kittens, eat babies, and not call your mother on Mother’s Day, too. Make the fuckers vote against that. No “public option,” though. That might piss the insurance companies off.

As much as I think the HCR bill sucks, I really, really, really want it to pass. Why? Because they’ve been running these goddamn “tell your congresscritter to vote NO!” ads almost constantly on the local teevee. Seems the two Representatives from the districts around here (the two that didn’t just admit to being serial gropers) are apparently considered “swing votes”.

These ads have been running constantly during the morning news – sometimes two and three times in a row; ad buys must be pretty cheap around here – telling us “the people” told Pelosi and Obama to “slow down” but now they’re gonna use “special rules” to ram this down our throats (they of course fail to mention that this legislation already passed both houses – including 60 votes for it in the Senate – and that budget reconciliation is no more “special” than the dumb fucking rule that says Democrats need 60 votes to pass any laws and 40 votes are a majority, if they’re Republican votes).

I hate these goddamn commercials. So, they’ve managed to convince me that I’m a strong supporter of whatever the hell they come up with.

I do feel sorry for Bart Simpson Stupak, though. It appears his fifteen minutes of fame are pretty much over.

After playing a central role in the bid to ensure that federal funding for abortion is removed from the Democrats’ health care bill, Rep. Bart Stupak (D-Mich.) said in an interview on Friday that he is suddenly feeling left out.

“They’re ignoring me,” he told National Review Online….

Aw, poor Bart. Hopefully he’ll be able to retire to Connecticut soon, where he and that little weasel Joe Lieberman can sit around and tickle each other for hours on end, talking about how important they used to be.

Speaking of health-related issues, seems there’s an awful lot of herpes out there in the wild (which reminds me of that old joke about the guy who had sex with his canary and caught twerpes; worst part was, it was untweetable). More than 16% of Americans between 14 and 49 (I guess when you’re over 49 nobody gives a shit what you have) have HSV-2. And you ladies are twice as likely to have as the men folk are. 11.5% of men are apparently infecting 20.9% of the women out there. Especially black women, almost half of whom are infected. Thank goodness I’ll be told old to worry about it pretty soon (not that I’ve exactly had a lot of women – of any flavor – throwing themselves at me lately).

It’s not St. Patrick’s Day yet, but we’re having our annual parade today anyway. Personally, I think not actually having it on the actual St Patrick’s Day is an insult to the Irish. I mean, if they can shut down half of NYC and march up 5th Avenue on a Wednesday, I think they can do it here, too. But, what the hell. No harm in getting started early, I guess. Pionta Guinness, le do thoil.