We are a divided nation. Half the country thinks Obama is a Nigerian commie mooslam who wants to take your guns, money, and women, and give them to Mexicans. The other half of the country thinks Obama is an ineffectual, naive corporatist, selling out to the insurance industry, big pharma, big oil, big banks, and big nukes (by the way, Mr. President, if companies are too corrupt and inept to safely dig a hole in the fucking ground, do you really want them playing with fissionable materials?). The third half of the country, of course, believes Obama can do no wrong, has a secret liberal agenda that he’ll unleash in his second term (yeah, like he’s gonna get a second term), and really, what can he actually accomplish with the Democrats in charge of the House and Senate (can’t wait to see what he does with Republicans running at least one house of Congress – though, I must say, the Democrats might owe the teabaggers a steak dinner at a fancy whites-only restaurant for all their help in keeping Republicans in the minority)?

Although Obama moved with a Bush-like pace (and a Dick Cheney mindset) on the whole underwater oil gusher thingie, his administration has now sprung into action. Which, of course, means he’s created a commission to study it. I don’t know about you, but I feel much better. Plus I hear Toni Morrison is working on a new novel based on the BP oil spill – “Tar Baby 2: This Time It’s Personal.”

Speaking of BP, they’ll be taking a much-needed break this weekend, and will get back to not stopping the oil gushing into the Gulf of Mexico next Tuesday (must be British Memorial Day is a week earlier than ours; kinda like the opposite of Russian Christmas, I guess). No doubt, the President will be drafting a stern letter, expressing his desire to have them get back to work (which Rand Paul will decry as being un-American and mean).

It’ll be interesting to see how the Texas history books (coming soon to a school near you) cover all this. On the one hand, they’d want to emphasize how bad Obama fucked it all up (maybe even caused it), while still praising deep water oil drilling and the corporate right to rape the Earth in the name of the almighty dollar.

Keith Olbermann mentioned this the other night, and I remember seeing it before. Thanks to the Intertubes, we don’t need to purchase the Tonight Show box set to see it. Thank you, YouTube.

Oh, and John Fund’s an asshole.