You’ve got to admire somebody who has the courage of their convictions and is willing to stand up and defend their beliefs, even if you don’t happen to agree with them. Ron Paul seems to be one of those people (I guess; I’m not really one of his groupies, so I don’t really know for sure). His son the doctor? Not so much. In less than 24 hours, Little Paul went from saying that he thought companies had a right to discriminate against people based on race (or anything else, presumably) to saying he’d have voted for the Civil Rights Act.

Actually, I guess he didn’t really change his position after all. He said he’d have worked to change the CRA to let private companies tell black folks to get to the back of the bus, but he never did say he’d have voted against it. Except he was about a year old at the time, so, really, what he would or wouldn’t have voted for is pretty much moot. All we know for sure is that now, in 2010, Rand Paul thinks private companies ought to have the right to discriminate against anybody they want. Is this likely to hurt his candidacy? In Kentucky? Land of Jim Bunning and Mitch McConnell? I don’t think so.

Speaking of Kentucky, the ‘Double Down’ sandwich (bacon and cheese with chicken filets where the bread ought to be) that everybody privately says is so disgusting and terrible has been such a big hit for KFC that they’re gonna continue to offer it as long as their customers want it (or until they all die off). On the bright side, if the Double Down leads to chest pain, with all that chicken, you can probably trade one in for an EKG, and two might get you a stent.

Other news from the world of medicine this morning involves pools and pool water nastiness. This just in: “experts” at the CDC say you shouldn’t use the pool if you’ve got diarrhea. Experts, and everybody else in the pool. There’s something to think about next time you get a mouthful of pool water, huh? Mmm. Wanna double down on that?

Speaking of doubling down, Julie Bowen has a nice pair. Of twins. Babies, I mean. And she’s got the pictures to prove it. I always thought Julie was just the cutest little thing, ever since Boston Legal. She and the twins are welcome to come to dinner at our house any time.

So, teabagger darling and Republican candidate for KY Senator (that’s Kentucky, not the lube) isn’t 100% down with the Civil Rights act, telling Rachel Maddow he’d have tried to change it if he was in office when it was enacted. Oh, he himself, of course, doesn’t believe in discrimination (and would never join a white-only Country Club – like, say, the one where he held his big victory party), but that doesn’t mean other people shouldn’t have the right to do it. Apparently, he considers it a First Amendment right for a private business to refuse to serve, say, black people. Is it? Is that protected “speech”? If a business is privately owned, does the owner have the right to say, “we don’t serve black people” or “the lunch counter is for white people only”? Or, no Jews, no Whites, no Mooslams, no Ukrainians, no Irish, no, well, whatever? I suppose you have the right to keep whoever you want out of your home, but does that right extend to, say, your hardware store or the family-owned Greasy Spoon (or the Wal-Mart in Leitchfield, KY)? Doesn’t seem like it to me, and it doesn’t seem like somebody who thinks it does ought to be a US Senator in the 21st Century. Not even in Kentucky.

BPs oily sludge is now gunking up the Louisiana wetlands, and it’s headed up the East Coast. Since they don’t seem to be able to stop it, it’ll be interesting to see how far it goes. On the bright side, you might not need the tanning oil out on Jones Beach this summer – just go for a swim, and you should come back out with a nice brown patina. I wonder if it’ll make it all the way to Europe?

Feeling a little sluggish and off your feed lately? Might want to take that Miley Cyrus jewelry off and put it in your drawer. It appears that the MC jewelry collection is loaded with cadmium, or as the local news bimbo – and reincarnation of Norm Crosby (who isn’t actually dead yet) just said about three times, “caddyum”. Looks like Wal-Mart (where all the classy chicks do their jewelry shopping) is pulling the collection from its shelves.

On the bright side, they’ve just gotten a new shipment of lifelike sea gull oil lamps in from Louisiana.

Tough day for incumbents yesterday. Hopefully Arlen Specter will at least have more integrity than Joe Lieberman and not run as an independent (he said last night it was important to keep the seat with the Democrats, so I guess he hates the Republicans more for the moment). It’ll be interesting to see how Arlen votes as his term winds down. Around these parts, almost all the school budgets passed, as did most of the additional proposals (in my district, the budget passed, as did a library funding proposal, and we’ll be buying new buses). So, good for us, I guess. Still no State budget in place, of course, so hopefully I won’t be getting laid off.

Big day in a lot of states today, with primaries for US Senate taking place in Arkansas, Kentucky, Oregon, and Pennsylvania. This could be the end of Arlen Specter’s political career, and it’s looking pretty good that DINO Blanche Lincoln will be forced into a June runoff down in Arkansas. In Kentucky, teabagger darling Rand Paul looks like he’ll kick the ass of Mitch McConnell’s hand picked candidate. Here, there are votes on school district budgets going on. Could be bad news for school districts. People are pretty pissed at, well, just about everything, and about the only things they actually get to vote on are their school district budgets, so they tend to take it out them.

It was 30 years ago today that Mount St. Helens blew up. I hope Harry Truman’s OK.

Speaking of disasters, tar balls are starting to wash up on shore in the Florida Keys, though the Coast Guard isn’t saying if they’re coming from the underwater oil gusher in the Gulf of Mexico. Probably just a coincidence.

A Tokio Hotel guitarist OD’d on Viagara, or so he claims (not OD’d as in killed himself, I guess). Hs story is that somebody offered him one, and he replied that he didn’t need that sorta thing, but the guy replied “you should take it anyway,” so he took a fistful of them, and they made him feel bad. My first thought was, when did we start spelling Tokyo with an ‘i’ and I didn’t realize the hotels over there had in-house guitar players. As for a 20-yr old being stupid enough to take a fistful of Viagara because somebody told him, “dude, you gotta try these,” well, that doesn’t surprise me one bit.

The FIFA World Cup begins in about three weeks. This year, it’s in South Africa. Great place for a vacation, with a murder rate of about .5 murders per 1,000 people (or roughly 100 times greater then here in the US of A). Don’t worry, Colombia; you’re still #1.

You may have heard that Oily Taints and Michele Bachmann teamed up at a teabagger event in California yesterday. One headline I read yesterday, said “How Bachmann and Taitz Came Together Without the Universe Exploding” or something like that. Which was kinda dumb. Everybody knows that it’s only a problem is matter and anti-matter are brought together, and since neither Taints nor Bachmann matter, ther universe is safe. Taints and Bachmann in a roof full of teabaggers, though. Oy. That’s a whole lotta crazy in one place.

Oh well, looks like it’s about that time again.

Thanks to the NY State government’s inability to pass a budget (plus a petulant, impotent governor), 55 State parks and historic sites are closed. This action is saving an astounding $11 million dollars (or about on tenth of one percent of our current deficit). That doesn’t figure all the lost revenue for entrance and usage fees, of course, so the “savings” are quite a bit less (according to this, for every million “saved” $350,000 in revenue is lost, making that $11 million more like $7.15 million). It isn’t so much about the money, though; closing parks makes everybody’s quality of life a little bit crappier. Good work, guys. And might I add, you all suck.

Speaking of sucking, some good news (supposedly) from the site of the former Deep Horizon offshore drilling platform, as BP has managed to shove a mile long tube into the drill hole, and is sucking up some of the spewing oil. No idea how much they’re managing to suck up, and the oil that’s already out there appears to have entered the major current that will bring it through the Florida Keys and up the East Coast. Sweet.

Speaking of sweet, Bernie Kerik is scheduled to begin his four-year stint in the slammer today (unless he tries to make a break for it) for lying to Bush Administration officials trying to vet him in advance of his nomination to be Secretary of Homeland Security. It is, of course, a total miscarriage of justice (at least according to Bernie).

“Words cannot express my disappointment in the prosecutors and the judge’s behavior, and his sentence that followed,” Kerik wrote on his blog Sunday.

“I have repeatedly expressed remorse for what I may have done, however, unlike many, I can’t remain silent in the face of what I believe has been a gross injustice, which I pray will be remedied by an appellate court.”

Hey, he said he was sorry. What the hell more do you want? And all he did was lie a little, right?

Kerik, 54, pleaded guilty in November to tax fraud and six other felonies. He has been under house arrest in Franklin Lakes, New Jersey, since then.

Oh, house arrest. For tax fraud and six other felonies. I bet Bernie was a big advocate of house arrest and a kinder, gentler Criminal Justice system when he was NYC police commissioner.

After last week’s SNL with Betty White (which was actually funny for once), I had high hopes for last night’s season finale with host Alec Baldwin. After Betty’s moist muffin, I thought maybe Alec would pull out his Schweddy balls. Sadly, other than a chuckle or two, the show reverted to the usual suckiness that’s made it not even worth recording. Let’s face it, if anything actually funny happens, you can always watch it on the Internet while trying to kill time at work. Speaking of shit that’s not worth watching…

On Press the Meat today, it’s Ferret Face McConnell and Chuck Schumer. Plus a mostly disgusting roundtable with the not disgusting Jonathan Alter, the totally disgusting Peggy Noonan, the exceptionally disgusting Mike Murphy, and the more or less disgusting Bob Shrum.

Faze the Nation has Dino Feinstein, Krazy Jon Kyl, somebody named Jan Crawford, and Zany Jeff Zeleny of the NY Times.

On Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace gets down and dirty with Laura Bush, and Newt Gingrich will be on hand to shill for his new bullshit book, while the usual fuxheads nod in agreement.

At the Goebbels network, it’s Pat Leahy and Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III, plus a roundtable with George :jerk: Will, Helene Cooper, Glenn Greenwald, Gregory Craig and Ed “I’m not gay and if you don’t believe me, ask my pal Larry Craig” Gillespie.

And at CNN, Fareed Zakaria has the Prime Minister of Greece (don’t drop the soap, Fareed), a discussion about the David Cameron and Nick Clegg coalition, and a chat with IMH head Larry Summers and the finance ministers of France and Singapore (who are too insignificant to name on Fareed’s web page, let alone for me to google).

Looks like some people (mostly the Krauts) are all kinds of miffed at Google, because their street view cars have been “collecting payload data (the information users send over a wireless network) from non-password-protected WiFi networks.” Um, so, like, you’re broadcasting your private information via an unencrypted radio signal, and you’re pissed at Google? You might want to worry more about that guy sitting in a car on the corner with his Pringles® can antenna pointed in your direction, or the kid across the street who’s using your Internet connection to surf porn while snooping through your hard drive, looking for that spreadhseet where you keep your bank account information and passwords.

Also pissed at Google are cougars, who are accusing them (or should it be “it”?) of sexism.

CougarLife, a dating website for women “looking to catch younger men,” has accused Google of sexism, claiming that the company deemed its web ads “non-family safe,” while condoning as “family-safe” Internet ads for “sugar daddy-type” sites.

Of course, when you go to the CougarLife site, you see an image of what I would consider to be a young woman (with some kind of caterpillar or something on her eye) and a young man (wearing an old man’s t-shirt with a carefully groomed “unshaven” look) snuggling together.

You know you’re getting old when the cougars look like kids.

I guess that makes me a candidate for SeekingArrangement.com, which helps hook young girls up with dirty (and rich, apparently) old men. And what is an “arrangement” you ask?

An Arrangement is short for “Mutually Beneficial Relationship” between two people. Such a relationship is usually between an older and wealthy individual who gives a young person expensive gifts or financial assistance in return for friendship, or intimacy.

Let’s face it… It’s human nature for people to want younger and more attractive partners. It’s also natural for younger men & women to seek out more experienced, sophisticated partners, specifically those who have the means of providing them with comforts and luxuries.

Yeah. Specifically with the means of providing comforts and luxuries.

Any chance there’s a site out there for hot young babes hoping to hook up with fat old broke guys? Like, young people seeking revenge on their parents?

Daddy wouldn’t let you take to Porsche to school this semester? Break his heart by hooking up with a working slob who’s older than he is!

Nothing will piss your parents off more than pictures of their daughter “doing the nasty” with a furloughed State Worker!

Visit rent-a-slob.com today!

Either that, or join the “horror rock band,” Voluptuous Horror Of Karen Black.

It’s finally Friday, and there’s a big weekend coming up with college graduation ceremonies taking place all over. If you’re the parent of a graduating senior who’ll soon be heading back home to seek gainful employment, you have my sympathy. I only have two words of advice to offer: “tough love”. You can give them about a week of sleeping in, and then I suggest you get their asses up and out of bed at the crack of dawn and have them hit the streets. And don’t fall for any of this “I’m applying online” bullshit, either. You know they’re just updating their facebook pages. Get ’em out there pounding the pavement, and tell them to remember: there are no small jobs, only small people. Also, there is no free room and board after the Fourth of July.

The NCAA lacrosse playoffs begin (or continue) for Divisions I, II, and III this weekend, too. Onondaga Community College has already taken the Junior College national championship (second in a row, and fourth in five years), and we’re hoping that the other local schools – defending National Champs Cortland in Div III, last year’s runner-up, Lemoyne in Div II, and of course SU, who is looking for a three-peat in Div I, can give CNY a sweep. Hopefully they can all make it to Memorial Day weekend.

Today, the space shuttle Discovery is slated to lift off at 2:20 PM EDT. There are only two more shuttle missions scheduled after this one, and then, well, we’ll have to rely on, like, 50-yr old Russian technology to get us back and forth to the ISS. While I realize that it isn’t easy to justify the money to continue the space program in light of all the other shit that needs to get fixed in this country (or on this planet), I think maybe we could divert a few billion of the bucks currently spent on wars and destroying things over to NASA. But what do I know?

It also looks to be a busy weekend for trying to stop the oil gushing into the Gulf of Mexico, with 4 new schemes set to be tried, including putting on a “top hat” and shoving a bunch of shit into the pipe to clog it (which sounds like something I’d have come up with).

Hey, anybody tried duct tape yet?

Have a good one!

First it was Roger Ebert, and now it’s Francis Ford Coppola saying that 3D is a bullshit waste of money. I find it hard to disagree, and it sort of feels like they’re trying to shove 3D movies and TV down our throats whether we want it or not. Then again, I wonder how many people thought color was just a fad, nobody would actually want to hear the actors speak, and teevee was just a curiosity that would never surpass radio. Yet, here we are.

The President heads to Buffalo today, to do, um, something or other. Maybe he’ll take the girls to Niagara Falls (travel tip: the Canadian side is much better, and, while you’re there, why not check out the Love Canal to see how the Gulf Coast will turn out, and then have a date night with Michelle at the King Edward?).

My one word of advice is to not meet with our Governor while you’re in the State. He’s not real popular these days. But then you didn’t want him to run for reelection either, so I guess you know that.

As for me, it’s off to work again, and then I’m being forced to go to an acupuncturist. I’m just gonna tell him to put a pin in everything ‘cuz, you name it, it don’t work so good no more.

Our brave governor continues his fight against working people, all while raising the pay for staff in his communications office, where five staffers have just gotten about $50,000 in pay raises (most in the vicinity of 20% increases, which is rather ironic to those of us about to face a 20% pay cut). Of course, the overall payroll in that office is down, thanks to the top two people resigning in disgust when they found out the governor put the screws to a domestic violence victim in order to protect on of his aides. The fight moves to Federal Court, where the Public Employees Federation (PEF) was the first to file for a restraining order to prevent the furloughs. Absent any action from the courts, the furloughs will go into effect beginning Monday. No doubt our management is working on a plan to deal with all this but, so far, us regular people are in the dark as to how this will all work, who gets screwed and who doesn’t, and how they intend to distribute our unpaid vacations. All I know is, I better not have to take, like a Tuesday off. If I’m gonna lose money, I at least want three-day weekends.

In other news, apparently it’s appropriate for “legitimate” news outlets to speculate about the sexual persuasion of Elena Kagan. Even Eliot Spitzer felt obliged to defend her heterosexuality (and when Eliot says you’re not gay…). Why this would be anybody’s business is (like so many other things) beyond me. Unless she was a closeted day who had devoted her entire career to discriminating against and vilifying gay people (like, say this guy), I see no reason why anybody should care. And, of course, this kind of speculation would be considered verboten if she was a dude or looked like a Barbie doll.

Though I bet Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman star in the lesbian fantasy dreams of many a teabagger.

Oh well, time to get ready to get going.