The bad news just keeps rolling in. Yesterday, we heard the tragic news that Larry King – the “Monkey’s Paw” of cable news – is retiring. Speculation is now on who will fill Larry’s suspenders in the 9PM time slot for CNN. Personally, I think they just ought to show reruns of Crossfire with Bob Novak. Not full shows – just “best of” clips of Bob. That way they can continue the Zombie host theme. But if they must find a live person, I hope they don’t go with any of the Huffington Post’s suggestions, which include Ryan Seacrest (I must confess, thought I’ve heard the name, I have no idea what it is he’s ‘famous’ for. I assume it’s got something to do with American Idol, but, having never watched it, I’m not really sure), Jeff Probst (again, no clue who that is), Katie Couric, and Kathy Griffin. I’d like to siggest Matt Taibbi (who explains why Lara Logan – whose baby daddy is war profiteer State Department contractor Joe Burkett – sucks – and not in a good way). Oh, I know, CNN would never go with an actual reporter-type person over a ‘celebrity’, and they’d need somebody with a quick finger on the dump button, ‘cuz Matt tends to say “fuck” a lot, but I think it’d awfully nice to have somebody doing interviews that would ask more probing questions than “how old were you when you first found out how great you are, and has your greatness been a burden on you?”

Speaking of sucking, the White House did some heavy-duty sucking up to MA Senator Scott Brown in order to get his support on Financial Reform. And what did all that sucking get them? A face full of, um, egg. Brown now says he’s a ‘no’ vote on reform. Turns out that, after having the government bail out all these companies that pay their upper echelon management people (who drove their companies into the toilet) hundred of millions of dollars in bonuses, Republicans want the government to also bear the financial burden of reform. Shocking, I know. I thought for sure Republicans would be on the side of the small people.

Well, to get going, I guess. Maybe I’ll use my new $10 Dunkin’ Donuts credit card thay I just got in honor of 20 years of service. Fifty cents a year. Not bad.