It really hadn’t occurred to me before, but now that you mention it, I can definitely see how the new “tan tax” is racist and unconstitutional, because only white people “need” a fake tan. Actually, I think it’s a more specific discrimination than that. It really only affects stupid white people (and rich ones – at least, rich enough to have nothing better to spend their money on than popping themselves into a giant toaster a couple of times a week). Frankly, constitutional or not, I’m 100% down with a tax on stupid rich white people.

A federal judge in Boston has ruled that the part of the Defense of Marriage Act that defines marriage as being between a man and woman is unconstitutional. Seems pretty obvious, but I’m sure this’ll raise the hackles of all those self-righteous folks out there who are working on their third or fourth wives, patronizing prostitutes, or cruising public mens rooms looking for a little action when they’re not busy yammering about the sanctity of marriage (you know, rich, stupid, white people). Lord knows, if they ever make gay marriage legal here in New York, I’m gonna dump Granny and find myself a dude. I’d probably have to start working out, though.

Speaking of Granny, she rolled back into town early yesterday evening. The dogs (and cats) were pretty happy to see her, but now that she’s talking about giving them (the dogs, not the cats) a bath, I think they’ll change their minds. On the bright side, with her back, they no longer feel the need to make sure I don’t get more than two feet away from them at any time, which makes it a lot easier for me to go back and forth to the fridge for a beer. I’m now allowed to get up to 30 feet away, as long as I’m not gone more than three minutes. After that, they come looking for me.

Lebron James is going to Miami. I didn’t see that one coming (but then, I wasn’t really paying attention). Cleveland’s owner is none too happy about that. I was kind of hoping he’d go to the Knicks, who would then trade for Jonny Flynn and Carmelo Anthony, so they could all play with Andy Rautins. I guess I’ll just have to be content to see Jonny and Wes Johnson play for the T-Wolves next year (where they may win upwards of 20 games).

Oh well, I’m off today, so I reckon I’d better get the boys out to the park early, before it gets too goddamn hot. It’s been a long three-day week, and I sure am glad it’s over. Next week’s gonna suck, though.