Money’s tight, and sometimes it’s tough to scrape together enough dough to heat your palace. I think we all know how that feels. Fortunately for the Queen of England, the UK is one of those socialist countries where there’s a safety net for impoverished folks to get a little help paying the utility bills. Or so you’d think. Sadly, the Queen’s request was denied. If Her Majesty might allow me to offer some help, might I suggest a pellet stove? Wood pellets are a renewable resource, and are so clean burning they’re even approved by the State of California (and you know how fussy those nuts are). Now, if “The Tudors” is any indication, you might have a bit of a tough time finding an insert to fit those humongous palace fireplaces, but maybe you can get the royal handyman to retrofit them or something.

Is House Minority Leader John Boehner fooling around with a lobbyist? That’s apparently the focus of an upcoming NYT expose, and I, for one, am shocked. Shocked because Boehner’s alleged affair is with a woman. I mean, who’da thunk a guy that spends so much time in a tanning booth and goes so freakin’ heavy on the mascara would be into chicks?

Well, after a ridiculously hot (and record-setting) 90 degree day yesterday, it’s supposed to be a nice, normal, mid-sixties Autumn day today. Thank goodness. It’s just impossible to get anything done when it’s that hot out. Not that I’ll really be getting much done today. But I could, and that’s the important thing.