It’s the end of the week, and what better way to begin the end than with a trip to the dentist? I can hardly wait. We’ve made it all the way around the top of my mouth so far, and are about two teeth into the return trip back across the bottom, and to “the other side.” I’d just as soon not think about how much this has cost me so far, but I suppose it’s all worth it, as it’s part of my â…” life crisis attempt to turn over a new leaf, get my shit together, and try to be as physically sound as possible for my remaining quarter century or whatever it is I have left. As my mom used to say, make sure you leave a good-looking corpse. Still, this replacing all my ancient fillings (no tooth has gone untouched) is becoming quite tedious. And knowing it’s my own damn fault doesn’t make things any easier – especially since I’m no longer limber enough to kick myself in the ass w/o pulling about 32 muscles.

So, did you hear? They’ve changed the dates for the signs of the Zodiac – and even added a sign. Our lo-cal news is sourcing this as coming from “scientists in Minnesota,” which kind of conjures up thoughts of the Mayo clinic or something, but “they” turns out to be a guy by the name of Parke Kunkle, who is identified as an “astronomer.” So I don’t know if this is an official proclamation or not. Smelling something fishy about his name (and not Pisces, either), I looked this guy up, and it appears that he’s listed as a faculty member in the Physics Department of the Minneapolis Community and Technical College.

Far be it for me to stick my nose up at a 2-yr school (or a guy who got his undergrad degree at Muhlenberg College – I think Muhlenberg offered to let me in when I was in 11th grade, and said I could finish up high school and start working on my degree right away – an offer I stupidly rejected, which led to a 26 year journey in pursuit of higher education – with much emphasis on the higher part, at least for the first decade or two; to think, I could have been teaching at MCTC all these years), but I’m not sure he’s qualified to go around mucking with Astrology (for one thing, he’s liable to set off the goddamn Zodiac Killer – he or she was never caught, you know – who might this very moment now be contemplating another murderous spree, though he might need to use a walker or a wheelchair and a handicap van to go on a rampage these days).

Anyhow, if you believe this so-called Kunkle, I’m not really a Scorpio, but am instead a Libra. And here people have been telling me all my life how much of a Scorpio I am. I don’t know much about Libras, but I suspect that as a sign it pales in comparison to Scorpio. I mean, let’s face it all other signs pale in comparison to Scorpio. Sorry, but we rule. Or are a royal pains in the ass. There’s a fine line there.

Although, now that I look at Libran traits, it appears I fit the bill there pretty well, too. It’s almost like, no matter what sign you pick, there’s enough there to fit nearly anybody – and that’s without even figuring in Uranus rising or anything.

Speaking of which, it’s cold out again today, so I’d advise you to keep Uranus down – which is always good advice, I guess. Especially if you’re a Democrat in Tucson.

OK, now let’s get this day over with already.