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Morning Seditionists

Saturday

Posted by pjsauter on April 30, 2011
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They say it’s not gong to rain today, which would be a nice (if unusual) way to end the soggiest April on record. Hopefully I can get some fencing up this weekend, and hopefully figure out how to get the mower mounted on my tractor (though I think it’s still to goddamn wet to actually use it – which is a convenient excuse for when I can’t get the damn thing mounted). Anyhow, it’s getting light out, so I reckon I’d better get to it. Just as soon as I watch my recording of the royal wedding one more time.

Royal Friday

Posted by pjsauter on April 29, 2011
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This’ll have to be quick. I can barely see through the tears to type. The bride just looks so beautiful. And William, oh so dashing. He was so brave when his mum died. I don’t know how I can go to work after this.

Thursday

Posted by pjsauter on April 28, 2011
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Judging by the weather down south, I guess I shouldn’t complain about ours up here. But I will anyway. It’s now been the wettest April on record here. The real bummer is the wind. It’s been pretty fierce, and with the ground so wet, it doesn’t take much wind to take trees down. And we’ve had some nice ones come down. I guess they’ll make for good firewood in a couple of years. There were some as yet unconfirmed sightings of tornadoes down in the Ithaca area, which is very unusual for this are (too many hills, plus God doesn’t hate us nearly as much as He does other parts of the country where they’ll turned their back on the true teachings of Jesus – you know, peace love, and that greed is bad). I just hope that’s about it for a while. I’m ready for some drought.

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Wet Wednesday

Posted by pjsauter on April 27, 2011
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I hate to talk about the weather, but I think God lifted his veil of protection on us yesterday. Twice. Hopefully He’s dropped it back down again. Two big-ass storms blew through within a couple of hours of each other, bringing lightning, wind, hail, and rain. Lots of f*cking rain. Enough to close the interstate through town, what with it being under water and all. Getting home was an adventure, as I ran across flooded-out streets, had to drive around big chunks of road and other debris, and was forced to take the scenic route because I kept running across closed streets. The rain brought us up to over 7.5″ for the month, and only about half an inch from the top spot. With more storms coming today and tonight, I’m pretty sure we’ll be #1 at least by the end of the month, if not by this time tomorrow.

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Tired Tuesday

Posted by pjsauter on April 26, 2011
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The dogs have pretty much gone insane. I don’t know what it is they’re hearing at night, but whatever it is, it’s apparently pretty terrifying (never mind the thunder, which raises the terror alert to “red”). This means that there is approximately 5/8 of the bed for my wife, and 3/8 for me and about 150 pounds worth of dog. This arrangement means that one dog has to stand on top of me, which I can deal with for a while (as long as he isn’t standing on my naughty bits), but the combination paw and toenail pressure point eventually gets a little uncomfortable. Strangely, they seem much happier when we all (and by “all” I mean the dogs and me – certainly not my wife who is quite adept at at least feigning unconsciousness and snoring; she looks quite well-rested this morning – not that I resent that in the least, of course) get up and go to the living room and I try to sleep in the chair. Must be the white noise of the pellet stove. Whatever it is, it makes for very little sleep, and what I do get comes at the price of neck and back contortions that cause severe pain later on in the day. Like now. Something’s gotta give, here.

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Moist Monday

Posted by pjsauter on April 25, 2011
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It’s been a pretty wet April here. We average something like 3.4″ for the month of April, and we’ve already had more than 5″. This is on top of ground saturated by the snow melt (about 15 feet officially – so far), so things are pretty squishy out there. Even the parts of the lawn that seem hard turn to mud when you drive over them. I wish we could give some of our rain to Oklahoma, but water is the gift of life from God and, well, I’m pretty sure God hates Oklahoma. I mean, how else do you explain Tom Coburn and James Inhofe? Still, it would be nice if things would dry up a bit, but it looks like there’s more rain in the forecast for today (and tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that…).

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Hoppy Easter

Posted by pjsauter on April 24, 2011
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It’s Easter Sunday (hard to believe; seems like just a month or so ago it was Ash Wednesday), which, if I recall my mythology correctly, is the A-Number-1 biggest day of the whole Christian year (which is the time it takes for the Sun to revolve around the Earth one time). Way bigger than X-mas, which gets all the publicity and righteous indignation from the likes of Fux News (especially that albino guy that looks like Beevis – or is it Butthead? – whose career – much like Greta Van Mushmouth’s – peaked with the OJ Trial). I mean, anybody can get themselves born (though, born to a virgin back before the days of artificial inspermination is a pretty good trick, I’ll grant ya that; you think Joseph ever felt like a schmuck for falling for that one, or was he more of a “don’t ask don’t tell” kinda guy?), but being executed and then getting up and walking away, well, without that, Jesus is just another hippie, commie-pinko, sandal-wearing carpenter, walking around spouting a whole lotta touchy-feeley peace, love, and anti-capitalist happy horseshit.

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Soggy Saturday

Posted by pjsauter on April 23, 2011
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Huge surprise, in that it’s Saturday and it’s raining. I believe it’s supposed to stop raining later on, before it starts raining again later. It may also rain again tomorrow. And then it’ll be Monday all over again. There’s something not quite right about all this, but I can’t quite put my finger on it. If I could put my finger on it, however, I know exactly which finger it would be. This wouldn’t be quite so bad if I could once again spend my evenings drinking myself into a contented stupor so that I wouldn’t feel like doing much more than vegetating in front of the teevee until feeling well enough in the early evening to start it all over again. But no, no more of that. I wish they’d hurry up and legalize pot, already.

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Happy Good Earth Friday

Posted by pjsauter on April 22, 2011
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It’s Good Friday, which might mean something to somebody out there. If I don’t get (or at least earn) a day off, then it doesn’t mean much of anything to me. Except it’s Friday, and that’s always a good thing, of course. And it starts out with a trip to the Dentist, and, goddamnit, they better actually have my crown back from the lab this time, ‘cuz I want this all over with already.

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I Demand a Third Trimester Work Week Abortion

Posted by pjsauter on April 21, 2011
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We got a “survey” in the mail yesterday about “Obamacare.” Actually, my wife did, but she said I could fill it out. As expected, it turned out to be some kind of anti-abortion and anti-Planned Parenthood propaganda from some chick named Judie Brown (who I think used to be an MTV VJ or something) demanding money. Fortunately, Judie (who I feel compelled to mention appears to be a woman – just sayin’) included a SASE, so I was able to thank her for bringing this to our attention, and tell her that I would be making contributions to both NARAL and Planned Parenthood (which, I assured her, I would never had done had her kind mailing not motivated me), and would work diligently to expand “Obamacare” until it included government single payer healthcare for all – including health care for women that included respect for their reproductive rights. I also thanked her for her letter, which helps to put things in perspective for me.

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