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Morning Seditionists

Tuesday

Posted by pjsauter on May 31, 2011
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I somehow managed to miss all the parades yesterday. I think it was because I made a point of avoiding them. Not that I don’t love a good parade (the tramping of feet, the blare of a horn, a bright uniform). Back when we had our own air force of A4s and then F16s, they used to fly over all the parades, but I guess now that we’re the Reaper drone HQ, they don’t do that anymore. Maybe they save the drones for flying over wedding parties.

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Memorial Day

Posted by pjsauter on May 30, 2011
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GuidiHappy Memorial Day.

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Sullen Sunday

Posted by pjsauter on May 29, 2011
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Being off Friday really screwed up my internal calendar. Yesterday felt like Sunday, but I’m really glad today doesn’t feel like Monday. And that I have Monday off. Tuesday, too, for that matter. Of course, Wednesday is gonna feel like five Mondays all rolled into one, but I won’t worry about that ’til Tuesday. I haven’t really done much of anything constructive the past couple of days. At the very least, I really should get busy putting my Armageddon Clock up on eBay. My idea was to have the auction expire at six PM on June 6. And shipping would be $6.66. But I have more ideas than I have ambition.

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Schizo Friday (and Saturday, too!)

Posted by pjsauter on May 27, 2011
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Mark Schmuckerberg Zuckerberg says we’re all schizophrenic over Facebook if we have privacy concerns. I’m not sure Marky-mark understands what schizophrenia is, but, whatever. As for me, Mark will be glad to know that I ditched my Facebook page a few weeks ago, after getting one too many stupid e-mails about something or other, and being creeped out when my “friends” started showing up on CNN and the Crappington Post. Not that they make it any easier to delete your page completely than they do to check and reset your privacy settings, but after jumping through a few million hoops, I think I’ve finally killed it.

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Thursday

Posted by pjsauter on May 26, 2011
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In keeping with the general trend across the country, we had some storms roll through in the middle of the night. Not anything near what some folks have been forced to suffer through, of course, but enough to freak out the dogs and get me up out of bed. It was the first real chance to use their new Thundershirts, and results were, well, not particularly impressive. So I’ve been out of bed since about 2:00 and catching up on my recorded teevee. This promises to be a long day.

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Wednesday

Posted by pjsauter on May 25, 2011
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Not much I can say about the weather except, wow, I hope this lets up for all the poor folks in the South and Midwest (I almost feel guilty about how nice our weather was yesterday – and how nice it’s expected to be today). I don’t think the whole Red State thing is working out for y’all (though I can see why you cling to that whole Jeezus thing, what with it seeming like God is out to get you), so you might wanna think about turning blue.

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Four Toad Tuesday

Posted by pjsauter on May 24, 2011
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What with the rapture and Apocalypse being a bust, I was rather surprised to find four exhausted but grateful toads (Grateful Toad – good name for a jam band; bet there already is one – if not, I claim copyright) in the skimmer basket. It was my first 4-toad morning (the summer corollary to a three-dog night, perhaps). Then I heard the news on the teevee this morning, and understood. The real end of the world is still on schedule for October. Saturday was just a “spiritual judgment day” according to that Camping dude. He reminds me a bit of the black knight in The Holy Grail. I guess he figures he’ll either get this right eventually or croak (speaking of frogs and toads). I say, why postpone your appointment with the Lord, Harold?

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Monday

Posted by pjsauter on May 23, 2011
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Once again, I’m reminded how grateful I am to live where I live. I might not have mentioned this before, but it snows here occasionally. But we don’t typically have earthquakes, volcanoes, hurricanes or, thankfully, tornadoes. As devastated as Joplin, MO is, I’m afraid it’s Minneapolis we’re most concerned with this morning. Two of the kids live out there, and in the North Minneapolis area. So, as of this moment, we have no idea how things are going. Hopefully they – and Web – are doing OK.

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Life in a Post-Apocalypse World

Posted by pjsauter on May 22, 2011
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I didn’t see anybody floating up to heaven yesterday. I did see some airplanes, though, and there was a rainbow in the sky at about 7:00 PM EDT (which would be 6:00 EST, which I’m pretty sure is God’s time zone) even though it hadn’t rained, so I was kind of thinking that was the bridge to heaven. Nobody appeared to be crossing that bridge, though, so maybe it’s just that nobody in my neck of the woods is worthy, though that would seem odd in a town of about 6,300 people and four churches (though I guess you can’t really count the Catholics), as you’d think somebody would make the cut. But, then again, even though we’re a predominately white God-fearing group, we’re also known for being tolerant, “live-and-let-live” types, so I guess that kept everybody out.

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See Y’all Later – in HELL

Posted by pjsauter on May 21, 2011
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I’m not sure what today’s itinerary is. I’ve heard some conflicting reports, like, the good people are going to heaven, and the rest of us are gonna stay here and live in misery for six months before the world is destroyed. Then again, I heard that there’s gonna be earthquakes and stuff that kill us heathens today. So, whatever it is that happens, it’s been nice knowing you, and it’ll be great to meet you all in person when we get to Hell. I don’t know if we’ll get to see all the people who have come and gone or not, but I hope so. I think Fred is probably already down there giving Satan a hard time. Read more