It’s Friday, which means another week has managed to slip by like the sands of the hourglass (yes, these are the days of our lives). This is one of those anomalies of temporal mechanics that defies explanation. How can each day go by so slowly, yet the weeks, months – years – fly by in an ever-dizzying blur (even granted the extreme acceleration that occurs between, say 5:00 on Friday and 8:00 Monday morning)? Just another one of life’s mysteries, I guess, like how come while I can’t stay awake, I can’t sleep, either, why does the f*cking SyFy Channel cancel shows like Stargate: Universe and Caprica, yet air Professional Wrestling on Friday nights (don’t get me started on them changing the name from SciFi – which makes sense – to “SyFy” – which is meaningless gibberish, which would be a redundant phrase if it weren’t for “speaking in tongues” which the Kristian Kuckoos – good riddance to them tomorrow, by the way; maybe we can buy beer on Sunday mornings now – would have you believe is meaningful gibberish), and how do you get the job of being famous for being famous, like Charo, Paris Hilton, and Kim Kardashian?

Speaking of Charo, I figured she had to be about 80, but it turns out she was born in 1951. Go figure. I mean, her schtick was older than hell when I was a kid, and she musta been like 15 when she married Xavier Cugat, who I also never really got, though he looked kinda like Willard Waterman, who of course looked – and sounded – a lot like Harold Peary, and didn’t he have something or other to do with Carmen Miranda – Cugat, not Peary – and why did the Supreme Court decide that we needed to be warned about her, anyway? Was it the fruit basket on the head?

Anyhow, I started out my day with a good deed, so hopefully that will bode well for the weekend. I rescued a rather large and unhappy-looking toad from the skimmer basket. This was after pulling out three not-so-lucky creatures last night (I may have to start looking up some recipes for these things). I say creatures, because I can only positively identify one as being a little froggie (not that I was of a mind to look too closely). The other two, well, I’ll have to go with some sort of lizard-shaped things.

Salamanders, Northern Coal Skinks, Northern Fence Lizards?

Beats me – I’m no herpetologist.

One was pretty large (probably upwards of six-seven inches from the tip of his nose to the stub of his broken-off tail), the other small. Perhaps dad and junior out for a swim? Or maybe they were gonna try to sell me car insurance; let that be a lesson to any prospective agents. As I said, I wasn’t looking too close, and just dumped them outside the fence for Gollum to have for dinner.

At this rate, it may very well be that only reptiles and amphibians (and, soon, June Bugs) will be doing any swimming in our pool this season.

But at least we can sit around and stare at the water without those annoying Kristians constantly baptizing themselves all over the place.