It’s Labor Day, so I hope all the Republican candidates for President will take the opportunity to blame the woes of the world on unions. And of course President Obama ought to jump right in there, too. Working people have been riding the gravy train far too long, and it’s time those persecuted, enslaved, rich white guys (and gals) were emancipated from their burdens of taxes, regulations, and, most importantly, organized labor. After all, the Free Market is kind of like the one ring that rules them all, and must be snatched away from the ghosts of Samuel “Gollum” Gompers and Franklin “Frodo” Roosevelt, and returned to Milton “Sauron” Friedman’s undead husk so that He might rule benevolently. Just don’t ever forget that the “Free Market” doesn’t include labor. No, no, no. They must not be allowed to band together to get a fair wage for a day’s work. Gotta keep the dwarves deep down in the mines of Khazad-dûm if this economy’s gonna take off, you know.

Anyhow, once we get this ridiculous Labor Day thing over with (where the peasants spend the day bowing down before the graven image of FDR when they ought to be out there creating wealth for their overlords so that they, in turn, can create more slave wage jobs), we can get back to the 10th anniversary of 9/11, which has been all but forgotten.

Perhaps you saw this AP story.

It was about three years ago, the first time Jerry Swiatek got to the 9/11 portion of his social studies class and had some freshmen say they’d never seen footage of planes flying into the World Trade Center.

Each year since, more students among the current crop of 15-year-olds tell him the same thing, leaving him still amazed that they’ve never experienced the horror of watching the twin towers collapse.

This is shameless. How can our society not be instilling horror into the psyches of our children? Who will be their generation’s war mongers, torturers, and civil rights deniers?

My God, don’t you realize this sort of thing could turn them to – gasp – science (or at best, math, with its “Arabic” numerals – and not the good math that Jesus intended us to have, either, with dollar signs and decimal points, but that shit with funny little un-American squiggly lines and Satan’s alphabet, and angles and “logic” and “theories” and “proofs” – in my book, teaching kids to “prove” stuff is tantamount to telling them to abandon their faith in God)?

And not the good science, either, that teaches us the melting point of steel and how a secret cabal of illuminati could secretly rig the tallest buildings in Manhattan (and not the good Manhattan in Kansas, either, but the one in Godless New York, which Real Americans always despised until those damn, dirty mooslams attacked it – or did, they? I forget how that works. I need to listen to more Alex Jones, I guess) with enough explosives to bring them down (after they called all the Jews and told them to take a sick day, of course).

No. Our children (and by “our” I mean, “your” ‘cuz I don’t have any, unless you count all the ones I’m subsidizing with my goddamn school taxes) could at this very moment be out there starting to believe in Evolution and Global Warming. Which I’m pretty sure leads us to the fact that 9/11 was all a part of Al Gore’s plot to enrich himself through science and “Green” (how dare these Pinkos usurp the sacred color of money and use it to their own twisted ends) Technology (which is bad, unlike, say, the Carlisle Group’s plan to enrich its members through greed, death and destruction, which is what Jesus would want).

I mean, seriously. Here we are, a scant ten years past 9/11, and how often to you hear about terrorists or mooslams? Probably fewer than 10 times a day, I reckon. And they hardly ever show the towers falling any more. That’s what happens when you elect a godless mooslam socialist Nigerian illuminati schwarze President.

When Rick “rootin’ tootin’ shootin'” Perry is Prez, we’ll get rid of this goddamn Roosevelt holiday and make 9/11 a national day of mourning instead, where everybody will be required to go to church (or Guantanamo – your choice) and pray in front of a big screen teevee showing the towers collapsing in a loop, over and over again.

Until then, though, y’all enjoy your Commie Pinko barbecues. Looks like rain, here.