Not only do I not have to go to work, but it’s supposed to be yet another beautiful day, weather-wise. Hey, if they want to give me a day off for some sociopath who thought he was gonna find a shortcut to India, who am I to argue? You’d think national holidays should be limited to actual Americans (except for Jesus’ birthday, of course – but then when President Romney is inaugurated, I reckon he’ll grant Jesus retroactive citizenship), but, hey, who am I to argue with the powerful Italian-American community? I’m pretty sure Columbus was in “Waste Management” anyway.

Normally, I wouldn’t rejoice in a victory by the Buffalo Bills. But when they beat Philadelphia – and intercept Michael Vick 4 times – I’ll make an exception. I think it’s time Philly realizes Vick just isn’t performing and needs to be put down. Nothing personal, Mike. You’re just not earning your kibble.

Well, I guess I’d better figure out what I can around here today – without spending any money.