Bad news, homos, heathens, and perverts: Rick Santorum stormed through the Minnesota and Colorado caucuses and took the non-binding, what the fuck’s the point, Missouri primary. Better make a piacular (today’s word of the day) sacrifice and change your ways, lest the frothy fury of President Santorum rain down upon you. And nobody wants that.

It’s not all good news for the righteous, though. Yesterday, the godless 9th Circuit struck down California’s Prop 8, spouting some kind of cockamamie drivel about people having the right to marry whoever the hell they want. Balderdash, I say. Don’t fret, though. This will end up at the Supreme Court, where Saint Thomas Scalius and his hooded colleagues are sure to set things right.

It’s every-other Wednesday meeting day but, alas, the stupid meeting has been cancelled. It was cancelled last time around, too. I just don’t think this guy is taking this thing seriously anymore. Or perhaps he’s realized it’s a pointless time waster.

Nah, can’t be that.