Today Tomorrow is the big day, when we find out if Oscar what’s-his-name gets bail or not. I heard he offered to wear an ankle bracelet. Apparently the cop they put in charge of investigating him is facing attempted murder charges himself. Odd country, that South Africa (note to South African burglars – don’t break into a house and then run into the toilet, or you’re a goner) – but they gave us Charlize Theron, so they can’t be all bad.

My back, however, has been pretty much all bad for the past few days. Kinda sucks. Grabbing a bag of pellets from the garage and tossing it into the pellet stoves has become a real challenge. Sitting all day isn’t so great either. Amazingly enough, I actually got a fairly decent night’s sleep last night (at least by my standards). If I could string a few of those together, I’d be good to go. Not that I have anywhere to go besides work, but whatever.

Some guy who used to be a priest but was “defrocked” for ordaining a woman as a priest was in town to speak the other night. This was interesting to me, in light of having just watched the HBO documentary on pervert priests. You can molest children all you want and the Catholic church will have your back (so to speak), but ordain a woman? You’re outta here!

Also “outta here” is Dennis Tito. You may remember him as they guy who had an extra $20 million lying around that he could toss the Russians for a ride up the ISS back in 2001 (an actual space odyssey) has his sights set a bit higher: he’s planning on going to Mars in January 2018 (or roughly when I’ll get back the 7 days of pay they’re planning on stealing from me). Good luck with that, Dennis. And don’t forget to take Newt Gingrich with you (though you may want to put him on a diet before launch).

In an act of transparency reminiscent of the Bush Jr. administration, Preznit Obama is refusing to release the memos that supposedly detail how assassinating Americans (among other people) with drones is legal and constitutional (and maybe even moral – in a Saint Augustine kinda way).

Hey, but at least he supports gay marriage now (once he realized that gay marriage is popular amongst the under-100, non-Fux News watching crowd). And he’s all for immigration reform (while simultaneously deporting a record number of Mexicans).

If he’d just get off this federal marijuana law enforcement kick, it’d all be good.