Oh my god oh my god OH MY GOD! The baby’s coming! The baby’s coming. Don’t just sit there you guys, the fucking baby is coming!

Or are you not quite as excited by this as the world media seems to think we ought to be? I mean, they even have “live video” (though given all the hubbub over a few grainy topless sunbathing photos, I’m assuming the video is from outside the hospital and not of the actual birth).

I suppose I can see how this might be somewhat of interest in England, but for the rest of the planet? I mean, there are like 370,000 babies born every day in the world, and I really couldn’t give a shit about any of them (except for maybe on those rare occasions when they happen to be born to somebody I know – and, frankly, I didn’t really care all that much about most of them, either).

I see that the nation of Dubai has shown great mercy and magnanimity in pardoning a Norwegian woman for the deeply offensive crime of being raped (or as they call it in the Arab world – and Texas – “having sex outside marriage”). I think we ought to reward them by selling them some fighter jets or tanks or something.

My friendly advice to you gals out there is: stay the hell away from Dubai (or Saudi Arabia, or Afghanistan, or Pakistan, or…).

Another place to avoid would probably be Cleveland, where it appears you’ll either be kept chained up in some nut’s house or wind up dead and rotting in a garbage bag. Might want to stay off of roller coasters in Texas, too (actually, I’d just avoid Texas altogether – especially if you want the right to decide for yourself what medical care you’re allowed to have access to).

So, it’s Monday again, which sucks. On the bright side, the weather is cool and the air is dry, and we’ve actually been able to sleep with the windows open for the past couple of nights. I really would have preferred to stay in bed for another hour or two this morning, to be honest. But duty calls.

Besides, the baby’s coming! :yippee: