If you’re a fan of the Simpsons, then you know that Homer has already flown on the space shuttle but it now appears he’s made it out of Earth orbit and to another planet. NASA’s Opportunity rover (which has been rolling around out there for an astonishing 10 or so years) has discovered a jelly doughnut on the surface of Mars. One day, it wasn’t there and then 12 Sols later, it was!

OK, so it wasn’t really a jelly doughnut (I mean, Homer wouldn’t just leave a perfectly good doughnut on the ground) – it’s a rock that looks like a jelly doughnut. Sorta. OK, not really. But it appeared out of nowhere, and it’s a very special rock, which is kinda cool.

Speaking of kinda cool…

I don’t know what the official temperature is, but my thermometer says -18° (okay, actually -17.9). Up in Saranac Lake, it’s -29. Even Northern Minnesota is balmy by comparison. If I could stay home today, I most certainly would. On the bright side, it doesn’t look like we’re gonna get all this snow they’re yammering about up and down the East Coast so at least I won’t have to get out there and plow. Remind me to build a cab for that damn tractor this summer, would ya?

I guess Governor Snotball made a statement the other day to the effect of “extreme conservatives have no place in NY.” This apparently got Sean Hannity’s panties all in a bunch, and now he says he’s done with NY and can’t wait to move (sheesh, relax Sean – don’t take it so personally. He said extreme conservatives, not extremely stupid people). On behalf of the State of NY, may I bid you a bon débarras! And if you’re driving, I suggest you avoid the George Washington Bridge – I hear they’ve had some slowdowns.

Sean isn’t sure where he’s going when he leaves – Texas or Florida, because they don’t have state taxes (and also ‘cuz white guys can pretty much shoot black guys with impunity). Sean, go to Florida (sorry Kevin, wherever you are) – you’ll fit right in with all the giant cockroaches palmetto bugs.

Giant bugs aside, I have to admit that someplace with temperatures above, say, 20° sounds pretty good right about now.

Hannity is a sad example of what happens when the Irish go wrong. The good Irish are charming and witty and self-deprecating and kind. The bad ones, though, are usually just loudmouth assholes (yes, I’m looking at you Bill O’Reilly). Now, I’m certainly not saying that Sean’s mother was an alcoholic who drank heavily all through her pregnancy, but he does exhibit many of the signs of fetal alcohol syndrome. Brain damage, smooth philtrum (that groove between your nose and mouth which, BTW, is the scar left over from when you were that ball of cells called a blastula and you folded into a gastrula – creating an inside and an outside. Don’t tell me my public school education was a waste!), thin upper lip, and small palpebral fissures (aka, beady eyes).

He doesn’t exactly look underweight or undersized, though, so maybe he was just dropped on his head a lot as a kid.

Whatever caused his condition, I guess we should feel sorry for him (which would be a lot easier if he wasn’t just another loudmouth prick who doesn’t think he should have to pay taxes).

Speaking of taxes, the end of the month is nigh, so I guess I’d better write out checks for the property taxes. Unlike Sean Hannity, I aint going anywhere.