First half of the sports weekend down, day two set to get started. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty darn tired this morning. Dunno know how many of you follow college basketball (though I imagine it’s not many), but yesterday was a tough day for a lot of the Top 10 teams. Most notably, #1 Arizona lost (a shame, that), as did #6 Kansas, #7 Michigan State, and #8 OK State. My condolences to all of them and their fans. Now I guess we move on to the SuperBowl. Since it’s like 35° here, I’m assuming it’s nice and warm down there in New Jersey, so there’s no excuse not to head down there (assuming you have tickets and you don’t want to tailgate, which is verboten though they will allow you to sit in your car and eat, which is mighty big of them). And the best part is, you don’t have to cross the George Washington Bridge to get there (at least not if you’re coming from Central NY).

I’m trying to decide my next move, here (which definitely won’t be making the 4-hour drive to Jersey). We’re supposed to get some snow later this week, and I’m in need of diesel for the tractor, so I should probably head out and get some. Normally on Sundays I travel to the bustling metropolis of Auburn, NY (or Pixley, as I like to think of it) to hit up the shopping “club” for a week’s worth of vittles and to fill my gas tank. But I don’t really need food this week (that is, I already have food and actually got an Amazon “Subscribe and Save” package that if I ration carefully I could survive on ’til spring).

I do need gas, though down to a quarter of a tank, which will get me to work and back tomorrow, but I might as well fill up while the weather’s warm. The gas is cheaper at the “club” – like 14¢ a gallon. But it’s 24 miles round trip, which uses, give or take, about a gallon of gas. I think I need about 10 gallons to fill my tank right now, and that would save $1.40 – so it would actually cost more to go buy cheaper gas so I guess it aint really worth it (I mean, otherwise I’d just drive to Billings, MT where GasBuddy says the price per gallon is a mere $2.899 – as opposed to $3.619 at the station here in Hooterville).

Of course, if I drive to the club, I can stop in and buy some shit food to chow on during the SuperBowl, what with my stock of shit food having dwindled to virtually nothing. That’s not really much motivation, though. It’s not like I have friends coming over or anybody to watch the game with, and if I feel the need I can always womp up a batch of my famous boneless chicken wings (actually boneless, skinless organic chicken thighs – I know, I know, I really shouldn’t eat anything with a mother, but I lack the necessary knowledge to figure out how to be vegan, so unless somebody wants to come cook for me or at least send me recipes and shopping lists I gotta stick with what I know).

Besides, they are just so gosh darn good. I sauté them for a bit in olive or coconut oil (whichever I happen to find first) with balsamic vinegar, a little flour, some Italian breadcrumbs, garlic (shit, I think I’m out of garlic), onions, Frank’s Red Hot, black pepper, cayenne pepper, and whatever else happens to fall into the pan. Then I roast them until slightly crunchy on the outside and melt in your mouth on the inside. Then I toss ’em in a bowl and lather on my secret hot sauce.

After that, it’s just gobble ’em up and wait for the burning diarrhea to kick in (typically 4-6 hours). Mmm, mmm, good.

I have so far not been able to bring myself to watch Friday’s Realtime. As you may or may not know, my other brother Daryl Issa was on, and I consider him to be a worthless piece of shit who I really don’t want to listen to. And since Maher has a tendency to suck up to “Conservatives” (I think he believes they’re doing him a favor by being on the show), I can only imagine Issa monopolizing the conversation, obfuscating, filibustering, and just being a generally annoying pain in the ass douchebag (hey Bill, why not have Dana Pigfucker Rohrabacher and that whiny little prick Jack Kingston on at the same time and get your asshole quota taken care of all in one week). I just don’t know that I want to put myself through that (already spent a couple hours last night with a markedly elevated heart rate and increased blood pressure – not sure I want to do that again today).

Well, it appears I missed the window to drive to Pixley (if I don’t get there right at 9:00, too damn many people show up and then I have to wait behind some idiot who insists on using the self checkout even though they’re clearly too stupid), so I guess I’ll just settle on getting gas and diesel.

Then maybe I’ll come back and take a nap.