We’re a third of the way through March, and that can only mean one thing: a bigass snowstorm is headed our way. So if you’re going to be anywhere between Missouri and Maine on Wednesday and Thursday, get ready. They’re calling for “about a foot” for us starting at about 5 AM Wed morning. That’s my late day at work, so that should be a truly wonderful day. Well, it was a pretty shitty weekend, so there’s no reason for things to change now.

First there was all this nonsense with WordPress, which I really don’t feel like messing with anymore. Then there was water coming out of the exhaust fan in my wife’s bathroom. I feared a roof leak, but it actually turned out to be the vinyl hose they (whoever “they” are – not the same “they” who predict the weather) used as an exhaust duct. They ran it 20 feet or so over to the soffit vent – undulating across the rafters along the way – instead of up through the roof. Unfortunately, water collected in a low spot and froze solid.

When I went to move it, the vinyl shattered and I was left with about a two foot chunk of four-inch diameter ice. It’s a little too cold to be putting holes in the roof, so I just got some insulated flex duct and replaced it. But doing anything in my attic is a huge hassle (and then there’s the whole being covered in fiberglass insulation thing).

Then last night, we seemed to be a couple dogs short. Turns out, they managed to find a way through (or more likely over) the fence. I was too beat (and it was too dark) to mess with it then, so there I was out there at six o’clock this morning (not any more light then) trying to find where they went out. I was pretty sure I found the spot (snow’s so goddamn high they more or less just walked over it), and the good news is I can close a gate and isolate that area.

The bad news is there was too much fucking snow to close the gate, and it’s more or less frozen solid. After a half hour of trying to chip out enough ice to get the gate closed, I gave up, took the gate off the hinges (actually, it was already off the hinges by that time) and used rubber straps to secure it to the posts.

And of course I stayed up past my bedtime last night, so I’m really tired and feeling like crap and some d-bag pulled in front of me (when there was nobody behind me) on the way in this morning and then drove really slow for the next 15 miles or so, and now I’m stuck here at work and they tell me there’s a foot of snow on the way.

Plus I’m out of beer.

If I didn’t have so much vacation time accrued, I think I’d just go ahead and shoot myself.