Greetings from the Birthplace of Memorial Day. OK, actually from about 30 miles east of the Birthplace of Memorial Day (which in itself is a title that is somewhat in dispute, as I’ve no doubt mentioned far too many times over the past nine or so Memorial Days we’ve been through over the years).

It’s been mostly a weekend of chores around here. The first order of bidness on Saturday was to get the pool open. Really shoulda done it two weeks ago when the weather first warmed up and I took a peek under the cover. The water looked a bit cloudy but I could see the bottom on the deep end, which was a good sign. But I slacked off, and last weekend was cold and rainy and miserable and damned if Memorial Day weekend didn’t sneak up on us kinda early this year (not that I’m complaining – beats being a work this morning).

I’d wanted to change the sand in the filter last year but didn’t, so it seemed like this would be a good time to actually get around to doing it and the wife was kind enough to stop by the pool store on her way home from work on Friday night to get 300 lbs of sand. Clearly, I wasn’t moving that by hand, so I needed to get the front end loader on the tractor, which only takes a minute or so but there was really no point in doing that until I cut the grass, so that was the first task on the list.

So, that done and sand changed it was time to pull off the cover and of course the water had by this time turned nice and green and the bottom wasn’t in sight on the shallow end, let alone the deep end. Fortunately, I was prepared with my trusty chemicals.

After dumping them all in, I was sitting around reading the directions on the empty bottle of algaecide to see what I’d done wrong (holy shit, this stuff sounds dangerous!) and I came across this section:

DANGER: IF YOU CANNOT READ ENGLISH, ASK YOUR SUPERVISOR TO EXPLAIN THE APPROPRIATE DIRECTIONS FOR USE BEFORE WORKING WITH THIS PRODUCT.

So, like what’s the point of that? I mean, if I can’t read English, how am I gonna read the part that tells me what to do if I can’t read English? To be fair, just before that part, there’s a part that reads:

PELIGRO: SI NO PUEDE LEER EN INGLES, PREGUNTE A SU SUPERVISOR SOBRE LAS INSTRUCCIONES DE USO APROPRIADA ANTES DE TRABAJAR CON ESTE PRODUCTO.

…which I assume means the same thing in Spanish (either that or it’s something about making sure your boss is sober when he leers at Laura Ingles and gets her pregnant while smoking a cigar.

But what if you don’t happen to be able to read Spanish, either? Shouldn’t it say “if you can’t read English OR Spanish…?” (and probably “if you can’t read at all, please have somebody read these directions to you”). Or do they just assume you can either read English or your pool boy Alejandro’s gonna do the work for you? Though if I was doing the hiring, the pool boy would probably be named Maria.

So yesterday there were more chores. I tried out my new cordless hedge trimmer (because Ricardo the gardner has the weekend off) that I got mostly because I wanted another battery and charger for my cordless weed wacker and it only cost a couple bucks more to get a charger and battery that happens to come with a tool than to get just the battery and charger separately. And I also jacked up and stabilized the steps that lead to some sort of treehouse or deer blind or whatever it is that the previous folks built up in the pine trees, and I took apart the front wall of it (not hard, as it was falling down anyway) so we can sit up there and admire the view – though it might be a bit of a precarious perch after a few cold frosty ones.

All of which brings us to today. I should probably head out into the woods with the chainsaw and cut up some firewood. I’ve used up pretty much everything within easy reach, and have been hankering for a fire the past couple nights.

Oh well, time’s a wastin’, so I better get busy. Whatever you do today – picnic, barbeque, head to the beach, toss the horseshoes, play blindfolded lawn darts (my favorite – especially after a few beers), or even honor our fallen veterans (crazy as that seems) – have a good day.

‘Cuz it’s back to cursed work tomorrow.