The hospital for which I work has been declared as one of eight official Ebola centers in NY by Governor Snotball (my boss passed along a memo from our head of Emergency Preparedness, who I know is qualified because he’s got an MBA). I’m fairly certain this distinction comes without a budget, but I’m pleased nonetheless because it’s very important. As we all know, Ebola is easier to get than mono at a frat party, and we’re all pretty much gonna die horrible deaths from this “outbreak.” Right now, hundreds of thousands of Ebola Zombies (mostly from Kenya and Mexico, but probably a few Canadians, too) are staggering across our borders at this very moment, looking to infect us normal (and by normal, I mean “white”) folks. Thanks, Obama.

The other reason I’m pleased is that it’s mid-October, and, were it not for this Eboma (or is it Obola?) stuff, the media would be wetting their pants over flu season and how if you don’t get a flu shot, you’re gonna die from the flu (but not before infecting innocent children and people who are allergic to eggs). It’s nice that they have something else to obsess over, even if ti’s just for a little while.

Speaking of death, I have to go to a wake tonight after work. This is one of those unpleasant grownup things that you have to do even though you really don’t want to. Like going to weddings or not passing a stopped school bus. This one is for the father of someone who used to be a very good friend of mine, but who I rarely see these days what with him not living around here anymore. And having been on the other side of these things (that is, as a family member of the deceased, not, as of yet, the guest of honor), about all I know is that it’s weird and it sucks, and there’s really nothing anybody can say or do that will stop it from sucking but on some way it actually does help to know that there are people who care.

So you do the right thing and you go and you kneel in front of the casket and pretend to pray (I guess that’s what you’re supposed to be doing, right?) and then you go and make small talk and see a bunch of people you haven’t seen in a while (and may never see again – at least, not vertically) and try to pretend there isn’t a dead guy (or gal) up there in the front of the room.

But, hey, at least it’s Friday.