OK, sure. I entered the bank that night hoping to grab as much money as I could carry. But it turns out the safe was empty. So, nothing to see here you lying fake news bastards. If only Dick Hickock and Perry Smith had known about this defense, the Clutters would still be alive. Well, the kids maybe. I guess the parents would be over 100. But you get what I mean – if you try to do something illegal, immoral, or just plain not nice, and you don’t get what you want, then you didn’t do anything wrong (unless you’re Catholic, of course, in which case – as my mother and George Carlin could tell you – it’s thought, word, and deed so we’re all going to hell). But if you’re a God-fearing Republican, then you’re covered (also, if you don’t get caught, don’t admit to anything, and then declare that even if you did do what you didn’t do, it’s OK because there was nothing illegal about doing it, and, anyway, everybody else does it, plus “Crooked Hillary”, am I right?).

Anyhow, I think it’s time for Jared to take Fredo Jr. out for a little ride in a rowboat, if you know what I mean. No sense in waiting for his mother (which one was she now? Number one, right?) to die. He’s even dumber than his old man, and that’s saying a lot.

You know, as bad as things are, thank goodness all the Republican players are dumber than a box of rocks. Imagine if these idiots were even marginally competent. I guess the GOP nomination process weeds out the competent people these days – when you have to appeal to the “base” and your base is a collection of inbred, mouth-breathing morons, you don’t exactly attract the cream of the crop. Not that the Democrats have much to crow about either. But at least most of them appear to be able to walk and chew gum at the same time.

UPDATE: Not to prove my point or anything, but…

It’ll be a miracle if we survive all this.