{"id":2560,"date":"2010-01-28T06:48:15","date_gmt":"2010-01-28T11:48:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/morningseditionists.com\/msblog\/?p=2560"},"modified":"2010-01-28T09:03:41","modified_gmt":"2010-01-28T14:03:41","slug":"its-only-thursday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.morningseditionists.com\/msblog2\/2010\/01\/28\/its-only-thursday\/","title":{"rendered":"It’s Only Thursday?"},"content":{"rendered":"

I wasn’t planning on watching the State of the Union address last night, but I happened to return to live TV right when he was walking out, so I figured, WTF. I didn’t make it through the whole speech, but I saw quite a bit of it. Maybe it was the mood I was in, but to me, he really seemed to be just plain full of shit. Let’s face it, I’ve heard his schtick before, and, to date, he’s been all hat and no cattle. As the late, great, Clara Peller asked, “where’s the beef?” Oh, he gives good speech, and the address was well received, for the most part. Heck, Chris Matthews even forgot (for an hour) that Obama’s black<\/a>. Good for you, Tweety. I almost forgot you were an asshole for a while there. Almost.<\/p>\n

Speaking of the SOTU, I got an e-mail from Barack Obama this morning (he seems to still have my e-mail address, even though I thought I unsubscribed the other day), with the subject, “I Can’t Do It Alone.” I thought, “sure you can, Mr. President. There are plenty of sites on the Internet to get you started.” <\/p>\n

Turns out he was talking about all the hard work ahead of us here in this country, and he needs my help to get ‘er done (I’m reluctant to remind him that I signed up to work in his administration even before he officially took office). <\/p>\n

Well, OK, Mr. President, you blew me off for a job, but what the heck, I won’t hold it against you. Good of the country, spirit of public service and all that. After all, I’ve got some big (and pretty darn good, if I do say so myself) ideas, and I’m eager to get started. <\/p>\n

The President writes:<\/p>\n

So tonight, I’m asking you to join me in the work ahead.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

OK, whattya need?<\/p>\n

I need your voice. <\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’m with you, brother. :nod:<\/p>\n

I need your passion.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

You got it man! <\/strong> :nixon:<\/p>\n

And I need your support.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

YES WE CAN!!! YES WE CAN!!!<\/em><\/strong> :yippee:<\/p>\n

Can you help…with a monthly donation of $15 or more?<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Oh. <\/p>\n

Didn’t I already tell you that I’m done giving you money (at least until you stop throwing me and everything that’s important to me under the bus)? And $15 a month? Hell, NetFlix is only $9 a month, the WTF podcast is only $10, and they’ve<\/em><\/strong> done me more good this year than you<\/em><\/strong> have.<\/p>\n

Like many of you, I’m sure, I get these CNN “breaking news” alerts. So I get an e-mail when Tiger Woods goes to sex rehab or a big Jiffy pop bag gets loose in Colorado, or Paris Hilton gets a speeding ticket. Yesterday, I got three: one, when Apple announced its rather poorly named “iPad,” another when it was leaked that Obama would call for the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” and a third informing me that, during the SOTU address, Obama had said “the worst of the storm has passed.” <\/p>\n

What CNN apparently didn’t<\/em><\/strong> consider newsworthy was the fact that Howard Zinn had passed away. <\/p>\n

Too bad, ‘cuz maybe if somebody over there at CNN had ever read “A People’s History of the United States,” CNN wouldn’t suck so bad – and maybe we’d get some real news out of them. And maybe if a few of these rightwing war mongers had actually served in the military – the way Zinn did – or at least read “The Politics of History,” we wouldn’t have gotten into the messes we did in Iraq and Afghanistan (they could use a copy of it at the White House, too). But then we’d probably miss out on the Octomom’s bikini photos.<\/p>\n

In other news that CNN would no doubt find “breaknewsworthy” it’s been reported that Anderson Cooper bought a firehouse in Greenwich Village<\/a> for $4.3 million (what is it with gay guys and firemen, anyway). I was just remarking to somebody yesterday that it would be awfully nice to be rich. Coop’s new digs are a little tight, at a mere 8,240 square feet, but have their “original spiral staircases, brass fire poles, overhead beams used to dry hoses and walls covered with murals marking the fire patrol’s history” as well as a “bust of Mercury, the Roman god of speed, atop the firehouse’s main door.” Hmm. Just imagine the parties.<\/p>\n

\"zippers\"Uh, I know I’m just a no-class, low-brow jerk, but are face zippers and a hairdo that looks like “Mother” from “The Wall” really the epitome of “Haute Coture?”<\/a> Some days I’m just really happy to be a beer-swilling, non-firehouse dwelling, average Joe. Though those face zippers might keep me from losing my keys all the time. Could be tough getting through the airport scanners, though.<\/p>\n

Hey, Midwest, no offense or anything, but would you keep your goddamn cold weather to yourself? We’ve kinda gotten used to the relatively warm weather here, you’re about to ruin everything by sending your frigid air our way. Just don’t start sending us your tornadoes. <\/p>\n

Sadly, I guess it’s time for this average Joe to get ready for work. Gotta save up $500 – $800 to buy an iPad. God, that’s a crappy name, though. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I wasn’t planning on watching the State of the Union address last night, but I happened to return to live TV right when he was walking out, so I figured, WTF. I didn’t make it through the whole speech, but I saw quite a bit of it. Maybe it was the mood I was in, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2560","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.morningseditionists.com\/msblog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2560","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.morningseditionists.com\/msblog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.morningseditionists.com\/msblog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.morningseditionists.com\/msblog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.morningseditionists.com\/msblog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2560"}],"version-history":[{"count":32,"href":"https:\/\/www.morningseditionists.com\/msblog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2560\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2593,"href":"https:\/\/www.morningseditionists.com\/msblog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2560\/revisions\/2593"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.morningseditionists.com\/msblog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2560"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.morningseditionists.com\/msblog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2560"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.morningseditionists.com\/msblog2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2560"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}