In somewhat fitting fashion, a storm with high winds tore through the village of Chittenango yesterday, putting a premature end to this weekend’s Oz-Straveganza festivities. No, this wasn’t an homage to Ozzie Osbourne. Chittenango is the birth place of L Frank Baum, who wrote the series of books made famous by the Wizard of Oz. You’ll be glad to hear that, although there was a bit of damage, the Munchkins are all OK (and, yes, there are still a few of them left, though they’re definitely getting up there in years, if not inches).<\/p>\n
Of course, Chittenango wasn’t the only place with bad weather this weekend, as tornadoes tore through the Midwest in typical tornado fashion. As I’ve learned from televangelists over the years, this is apparently because God hates the Midwest. In fact, just based on weather patterns, I’d have to say that God is really f*ckin’ pissed at the entire bible belt, ‘cuz between floods, droughts, hurricanes, and tornadoes, God’s pretty much throwing everything He’s got a these people. Except earthquakes, but we know He saves that shit up for the Godless State of California.<\/p>\n
If you’ve checked in on the ‘Oil Cam’ lately, you might think the cap BP put on their hole in the ground (is it a hole in the ground if it’s under water?) isn’t doing a damn thing. That’s because you’re stupid. The folks at BP assure us that not only is it doing something, it’s capturing a ‘vast majority’ of the oil spewing out. Uh, OK. They’re the experts, so I trust them. I mean, who you gonna believe, the oil industry, or you’re lying eyes?<\/p>\n
It’s odd. You remember the outcry from the wingnuts about “free speech” and stuff when that bimbo with the fake boobs made her proclamation about ‘opposite’ marriage? Well, I figured they’d all start yammering again in defense of Helen Thomas’ right to say that the Israelis ought to all go back to Germany and Poland. Shockingly, they appear to have remained silent. Well, not silent so much as ‘outraged’ (sorry, did I say outraged? I meant to say OUTRAGED!!!<\/strong>). And of course Ari Fleischer says she ought to be fired. And when Ari speaks, I listen. I mean, I respect him almost as much as I do BP CEO Tony Hayward.<\/p>\n In a refreshing act of contrition, Illinois Republican Mark Kirk sat down for an interview with the Chicago Sun-Times<\/a>, and apologized for slightly exaggerating (also known as outright lying about) his military record.<\/p>\n “I simply misremembered it wrong,” Kirk said….<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n Ah. Understandable. If only he’d misremembered it right<\/em><\/strong>.<\/p>\n Kirk also apologized for claiming that, in the future, he’ll move his family to Riverside Iowa and eventually become the GGGGGGG-Grandfather of James T. Kirk.<\/p>\n In preparation for the upcoming Football World Cup, South African soccer fans practiced rioting over the weekend<\/a>. Only 15 people were injured and none were killed, but it’s still preseason, so we expect their stats to improve dramatically once fans get into full World Cup form.<\/p>\n Oh well, another day off, so I guess I’d better do my laundry or something.<\/p>\n