{"id":5928,"date":"2011-07-28T06:55:15","date_gmt":"2011-07-28T10:55:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/morningseditionists.com\/msblog\/?p=5928"},"modified":"2011-07-28T12:19:57","modified_gmt":"2011-07-28T16:19:57","slug":"news-thirsty-thursday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.morningseditionists.com\/msblog2\/2011\/07\/28\/news-thirsty-thursday\/","title":{"rendered":"News Thirsty Thursday"},"content":{"rendered":"

Like most “real Americans,” I like to keep tabs on all things “Celebrity.” So naturally the first place I head to in the morning is the Crappington Post’s “LA” page<\/a>. While intently following the story about Angelinians<\/del> Angelinans<\/del> Angelicans<\/del> them people out there in LA rioting on Hollywood Boulevard <\/a> in protest of the failure of our government to protect the rights of the people over corporate interests<\/del> over some friggin’ DJ or something, I noticed something even more important: Prince Friedrich Von Whatshisface got his wife, Zsa Zsa Nolastnamerequired a billboard for their 25th Anniversry<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Apart from being stunned to learn that ZZ isn’t dead yet, I was struck by what a romantic gesture this is. I mean, what more perfect gift for a bed-ridden, legless, 150-yr old husk than a billboard she can’t go out and see? Ausgezeichnet<\/em><\/strong>, Mein Prinz! I certainly hope this gets you out of having sex. :yuck: <\/p>\n

I also saw a story about somebody who is apparently a “star” of a “show” called Real Housewives of Beverly Hills or something<\/a>. Didn’t really read the story, but I was drawn to the photo of said star<\/a>, because, at first glance, I thought to myself, “holy shit, somebody smacked Julia Roberts in the face with a very<\/em><\/strong> hot frying pan!” <\/p>\n

Of course, there’s other news out there besides Hollywood celebrity type stuff. For instance, Amy Winehouse’s autopsy was inconclusive. Which I think means there’s a possibility she isn’t actually dead. We may not know until October, which I think is pretty unacceptable. If she’d been found dead in Las Vegas, Miami, or NY, CSI would’ve had this wrapped up in less than an hour. My guess is that Michael Jackson’s doctor had something to do with it.<\/p>\n

Well, much as I’d love to keep my nose buried in the important news of the day, I’m afraid it’s off to more trivial pursuits – paying the bills. Another long day locked in a windowless room beckons.<\/p>\n