I just saw this important news story on the lo-cal news, and thought I’d pass it along as kind of a public service. Turns out, if you’re not careful when carving your pumpkin (as the kids call it these days), you can cut yourself. A pediatrician interviewed for the story said that he sees as many as “one or two” kids a year with jack-o-lantern wounds. My god! With carnage like this, you’d think there’d be a law. They didn’t say, but I’m guessing most adult pumpkin-carving injuries are alcohol and\/or drug related. To quote an “expert” from the story, “pumpkins are slippery, and knives are sharp.” I’m thinking of getting that printed on a t-shirt, along with a picture of a severed hand or something. Might also make a good epitaph for your tombstone (people will wonder what the story behind that one is). So, y’all be careful out there when handling your pumpkins. <\/p>\n
Although I suppose Rick Perry would pretty much have to have a wife, I never saw her before this morning, when I caught a clip of her attempting to diss Herman Cain. Turns out, she’s exactly what you’d expect – a bubbleheaded bleach blond who appears to equal (if not surpass) her husband in the area of stupidity.<\/p>\n
When eye he-uh nine, nine, nine, eye want to call nine, wun, wun<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Pause for laughter…. No laughter. <\/p>\n
Becawze it will rayuze the taxes.<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Yeah. OK. <\/p>\n
In other news, not only is it Friday, but it’s the official start of basketball season with Midnight Madness (which starts at 7:00 – go figure) at the Carrier Dome here in Syracuse (and other places that, let’s face it, nobody gives a shit about). Good news for sports fans like Sue and my wife, as, if you can’t make it to the festivities in person, you can watch MM coverage from around the nation (including here in The ‘Cuse) on ESPNU. SU’s will be the best, of course, in part because, thanks to the NBA lockout, the main event will be an alumni game with former SU “legends,” including current NBA players like Carmelo Anthony (I’d keep on naming them, but I realize nobody else cares). <\/p>\n
Must be Dave Bing is too busy being mayor of Detroit to come (or Jim Brown, who of course was also a very good basketball player, ‘cuz there’s nothing he wasn’t good at – with the possible exception of relationships with women, but, hey, nobody’s perfect). <\/p>\n
As if all that wasn’t enough, it’s a huge day for the iLemmings out there, as the Steve Jobs Memorial iPhone will be released in record-breaking numbers. Turns out that dead Steve Jobs is an even bigger marketing genius than living Steve Jobs, and if Apple can find a way to trot him out at every new product release, they’ll kick some major ass for centuries to come (I’m thinking a holographic appearance – kind of like after a Seldon Crisis<\/a>; you probably have no idea who I’m talking about, so I guess you’ll just have to get on the Google).<\/p>\n
Word has it that Woz is first in line at the Apple Store in LA. I hope he’s got cash (‘cuz, as they say in Cupertino, “In Jobs We Trust – All Others Cash”).<\/p>\n
Speaking of cash, time to go make some.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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