Kind of a strange Press the Meat today, as Timmy potatohead hosts a “debate” on the future of the Democratic party, between creepy DLC Chairman Harold Ford Jr, and the likewise creepy Markos Moulitsas (sorry, he just gives me the creeps for some reason; I think it’s because he looks so much like that guy Eugene Tooms, from the X-Files, who’d wake up every 30 years to eat human livers, and could squeeze himself up the soil pipe and into your toilet). Then it’s back to the usual stuff – a bunch of flat heads at the round table – with Bloomberg’s Margaret Carlson (who’s got the the hots for some of that Fred Thompson man meat), Time magazine hack Michael Duffy, NBC’s twinkie-ass Republican shill, Chuck Todd, and idiot (but no savant) Byron York, of the National Review.

Over at CBS’s Faze the Nation, it’s the hacktacular, former third-place “Worst Person in the World” award winning Karen “Humpty” Tumulty of Time, David Yepsen of the Des Moines Register (since we’re supposed to give a shit about Iowa, I guess), former crappy staff writer from the WaPost (who fits right in at the ever-incorrect Politico.com), Jim VandeHei, and Mike “Huckleberry” Huckabee, who apparently still thinks he’s running for preznit.

On Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace travels to Iowa to audition as wife number 2 with Mitt and Ann Romney, and then it’s a panel of Republican shills on to tell us why the Democrats suck (as if we needed anybody to tell us that).

This Weak with George Snufalufagus forces us to listen to Sam Bareback, before giving us a little (no pun intended) Dennis Kucinich (apparently, he’s on on so Georgie can ask him why he doesn’t quit already). Then at the roundtable, it’s George :jerk: Will, Fareed “Token” Zakaria, former Pentagon spokesbitch, Torie Clarke and campaign mastermind, Donna Brazile. Then, Leonardo DiCaprio will be on to talk about his environmental documentary “The 11th Hour” (if he doesn’t mention Thom Hartman, Thommy’ll be crushed).

Wolf Blitzer only manages one Democrat on his Late Emission – Andy’s boy, Joe Sestak. Otherwise, it’s scumbag Republican day, with Drunken Duncan Hunter, Transportation Secretary, Mary Peters (let me guess “be vewy, vewy afwaid,” but not so afraid you stop buying shit), and dirtbag representatives from the campaigns of dirtbags, Rudy “9/11 Action Hero” Giuliani, Mitt “Biog Love” Romney, and the man who reminds me of Bruce Willis’ character in “The Sixth Sense” (because he doesn’t know he’s dead yet), St. John McCain. Oh, and Wolfie tosses in Pakistani Ambassador Mahmud Ali Durrani, for good measure (must be Karen Hughes was busy; oh well, I’m sure Durrani’s better looking, anyway). Plus, the usual collection of CNN hacks and shills.

Later, on 60 Minutes, they’ll rerun segments on the kid who escaped from Darfur, Anderson Cooper on the hip-hop scene, and a story about somebody they’re actually calling the “King of Comedy.” Yes, none other than Larry the Cable Guy, who I’ve actually never seen, but I bet he’s no Harland Williams. All that, and Andy Rooney too? It’s just too much goodness for a one-hour show.

Damn, when the hell is football gonna hurry up and get back (and, no, preseason doesn’t count). Enjoy your Sunday, everybody, and if you can’t make it to church today…