No good shit to share this morning. Got a new remote control, which probably doesn’t sound too exciting, except you put in the make and model of all your devices, and it connects to the Internet and programs the thing, so all you have to do is touch ‘play dvd’ on the color touch screen, and it turns on all the correct devices (and turns off whatever’s on that you don’t need). You can even view photos on the thing. Pretty cool. Well, I think it’s pretty cool, but I’m sure there’s at least somebody that will be filled with contempt and disdain at the mere thought of such a thing. Fortunately, I can live with that.

I figured it was about time I wrote something really interesting and intelligent here. Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of anything, so I’ll tell you about the poo-poo my puppy left for me when I came home for lunch yesterday. I’ve seen a lot of crap in my time, but this was pretty amazing. Stellar, really, in terms of sheer volume for such a small (though quickly growing) dog. It had the consistency of wet mud, and had to have covered at least four square feet, at an average depth of approximately 3 1/2″ or so. That’s, what, almost 1.2 cubic feet of shit. I wound up using a snow shovel to clean it up. Good thing I didn’t put the shovels away for the season yet. That reminds me. I’d better go and get that shovel out of the shower. Thank goodness Granny will be home with him today.

Ah, the start of another week. We’re going to cool off here, which is fine by me. I hate the hot weather. Summer makes me long for fall. So does this movie, which I can’t wait to see.

Howard Dean visits with Timmy Potatohead on today’s Press the Meat, followed by a roundtable of Dean David Broder, John “the dick” Dickerson, PBS’s Gwen Ifill, Mrs. Alan Greenspan, Andrea Mitchell & frequent Countdown guest, Richard Wolffe.

Over at CBS, Bob Schieffer has David Axelrod of the Obama Campaign and Howard Wolfson of the Clinton Campaign, plus former CBS News dude (back when they had news), Roger Mudd.

On the Goebbels network, tiny little George Snufalufagus has Evan Bayh, Tom Daschle, Artur Davis, and Sheila Jackson Lee. Then there’s a roundtable of snarky ‘heather’ Maureen Dowd, political mastermind Donna Brazile, Matthew Dowd (no relation,) and George :jerk: Will.

Weaselface Wallace hosts the embodiment of all that is evil, flag pin-less Barack Obama, plus the usual Fuxheads.

CNN’s Late Emission has DINO Dianne Feinstein, Pete “hokie” Hoekstra, Claire McCaskill, representing the evil Obama, Chuck Schumer, representing Clinton, Susan Rice, Obama Foreign Policy Adviser and Jamie Rubin, Clinton Foreign Policy Adviser. Plus Steve Coll of the New America Foundation and Peter Bergen, CNN’s scaremonger.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Antonin “Fat Tony” Scalia tells us to “get over” Bush v. Gore, and Bob Simon reports on the Israeli Air Force (who will presumably help President Clinton obliterate – or is it annihilate – Iran).

No more John Adams, but there’s a new episode of The Tudors tonight, and what I think is the season finale (way too soon) of Tracey Ullman’s State of the Union.

Have a good Sunday. And Happy Birthday to my mom, who would have been 84 today (she’d be pissed I said how old she was).

Nice to wake up to the sound of birds singing in the morning again. Too bad they have to come with black fly season (soon to progress to deer fly season) and thunderstorm season (which scares the dog) and too damn hot season.

I tried not to pay attention to the returns last night, but of course it was impossible to ignore completely. Last I saw, it looked like it was jumping around from about 6% to 10% win for Clinton (less than a 10 delegate pick up). Much less than the 20% lead she had not long ago, and far less than the 65% or so of the vote she needed to make any sort of dent in Obama’s lead. Whatever it finally wound up being, I’m sure it’ll be spun as a great Clinton victory by the traditional media. Whatever. I mostly don’t care anymore. I’m just glad it’s finally over (six or seven or whatever it was weeks between primaries is way too long in today’s nauseating news cycles). Now it’s on to wherever the hell the next one is at, and to all the asinine questions and teevee ads that come along with it. Whoopie.

Oh, and Happy Birthday Melina, wherever you are. What are you, 29 now?

So, big day, what with the PA primary and all. I’d love to see this whole thing wrapped up today, but that won’t happen. Obama won’t win today, and however small a margin Clinton wins by (and to make any dent in either the popular vote or the delegate count, she needs to get something like 65% of the vote in the rest of the primary states), she won’t do the whole party unity thing and get behind the party’s nominee. That’s because she’s running for 2012 at this point, and the only way she can run for 2012 is if there’s a Republican in the White House for another four years.

I voted for Clinton here in NY. It was a pretty ambivalent vote, since neither of them had done much to distinguish themselves in my eyes, and they are, really, just about as identical as two different people can get on the issues (those are those things that you never hear about in the campaign coverage). Since then, though, two things have happened. I’ve lost all respect for Clinton, in her attempts to scare the white folks while lauding John McCain as the only viable alternative to her. And Obama has actually attempted to speak to us as if we weren’t a bunch of mouth-breathing idiots. Maybe he hasn’t been perfect in his words, but (surprise, surprise) the people actually seem to get it. Yeah, we are fucking bitter, and we have damn good reason to be.

So, while Obama will never be the perfect progressive candidate that I’d like him to be, I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. I guess I’m with Maron on this. And I’m really sick and tired of the same-old, same-old, and that seems to be all that Clinton and McCain have to offer. So I’m ready for something new.

Aint gonna happen today, though.

It’s Monday again. That’s nice. As usual, I have nothing to say, except I’m having a harder and harder time going out and being amongst people these days. I just wanna win the lottery and become a hermit already.