Ooh. Pitched a shutout yesterday. I think that’s a first. The end could well be nigh. Anyhow, I was on my out the door this morning, and I heard NPR mention something about this being Holy (aka “Maundy” though I don’t know anyone who actually says that) Thursday. That whole Catholic thing never really took with me, but I can only conclude that this means Sunday is Easter. This is pretty astonishing news (is it early this year?). Has it really been almost 40 days since Mardi Gras? And shouldn’t this really be a four-day weekend kinda thing? You know Good Friday, Super Saturday, Easter Sunday, and Marvelous Monday? I mean, what kind of godless country is this where I don’t get any time off for Easter? How can people make such a big freakin’ deal about birth control when I don’t get time off for Easter? And where are Insanity and O’Reilly and that other guy that looks like Butthead (or is it Beavis) who peaked during the OJ trial? They should be clamoring about the War on Easter.

So, anyhow, as I recall (from movies like “The Robe”), today is all about the Last Supper, which makes me wonder why it’s a tradition to have a big Easter Dinner (which is never at dinner time). I mean, shouldn’t we have the big dinner tonight? Sunday was the day the dead guy came walking around with a hole in his side. Not particularly appetizing, I don’t think (and, stick your finger in the hole, Thomas? That’s kinda gross).

But, whatever. You can’t buck tradition. Not that I’ll be engaging in any activities on Sunday (not Easter-related, anyway). Not that I know of. When I was a kid, we always had ham, of course (I think that was to spite the Jews, but I’ve never gotten confirmation of that).

Speaking of Confirmation, I never got that, either. I started, but was kind of a dropout (they wanted me to go to classes after school and write a letter to the Bishop proclaiming my faith or something like that; what’re they nuts?), which I guess means I’m not a soldier of God, and will be going to hell (which is kind of a given, considering I haven’t been to church – let alone confession – in more years than I can recall). I think I “confessed” before my friend Buster’s wedding (which was probably like 25 years ago). I was the Best Man, and they had the whole Catholic thing, so I figured it would be good if I ate the wafer instead of stepping outside for a beer or something.

I wonder how Buster’s doing these days.

Oh well, have a happy – if not holy – Thursday. Let’s hope tomorrow’s a good Friday.