I watched a little bit of last night’s debate, but not too much of it. By all accounts, Joe Biden was the big winner. If, by all accounts, you exclude CNN (“call it a draw” they say, though their Republican-skewed poll showed Ryan the winner, 48%-44%), and NPR (on the way in, their report said, “both sides claim victory”). CBS says Biden won among “uncommitted” voters (those who aren’t in a mental institution, I guess), but their story never tells you what percent Biden got (unless you watch the video).

Of the 431 polled immediately following the debate, 31 percent deemed Ryan the winner, and 19 percent said they felt it was a tie.

I guess one could do the math on that and come up with 50%, but it seems an odd item to exclude.

Fox News said Biden was a big old meanie.

STEPHEN HAYES: “When he thanked Joe Biden, Biden was smirking. And I just think that came across as very disrespectful.”
BRIT HUME: “It looked like a cranky old man, to some extent, debating a polite young man.”

GRETA VAN SUSTEREN: “The smiles, the sneers … it made Vice President Joe Biden — someone who I typically like — I thought he was very unlikable.”

CHRIS WALLACE: “I don’t believe I have ever seen a debate in which one participant was as openly disrespectful of the other.”

CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER: “It was so disrespectful.”

SEAN HANNITY: “At times, it was so uncontrollable, I was beginning to worry about him [Biden].”

And Fucker Carlson?

“Have you ever felt that way when you just want to deck somebody?”

Why, yes. Yes I have.

Oh well, guess you just can’t please everybody, Joe.

Except that everybody agrees that Martha Raddatz was the big winner as a moderator (except for Sarah Palin, of course, who said she let Biden run all over poor little Eddie Munster).

Speaking of Martha, weren’t they making a big deal about Candy Crowley being the first woman to moderate a debate since Christ was a corporal or something? I guess the VP debates don’t count.

Current apparently analyzed the debate to determine at what reading level the questions and answers were on. Preznit and Vice-Preznit are pretty lofty positions, so I’m assuming it was pretty high level stuff.

We analyzed the questions asked by moderator Martha Raddatz, ABC’s senior foreign correspondent, along with the responses from Biden and Ryan to determine their reading level.

In a similar look at the first presidential debate President Obama responded at a ninth-grade level, Mitt Romney responded at a sixth-grade level and moderator Jim Lehrer asked questions at a fifth-grade level.

It turns out the entire vice presidential debate was at a sixth-grade reading level.

Oh. 😐

No wonder Obama did so poorly. He was talkin’ like a smarty-pants high school freshman.

Anyhow, next up is the second Presidential debate. Here’s my prediction: Romney will dial it down a notch or two, Obama will actually look like he’s alive and breathing, and the media will declare that Obama looked “crazy, angry, and desperate,” while Romney looked “confident and ‘Presidential’.”

There, now you don’t have to bother watching.