Last night was the great debate – Bill Nye the Science Guy vs. Ken Ham the, um, whatever-the-fuck-he-is guy. I have not had a chance to watch it, but if you’ve got a couple of hours to kill, you can catch it here on the Christian Today website. Then you can vote in the “who won the debate” poll they have going.

You might be surprised to hear that with close to 16,000 having voted so far, Bill Nye is in the lead 92% to 8%. So either Satan got the message out on Twitter to go rig the vote, or Christians (at least the ones capable of using computers) aren’t as stupid as we think they are (which could either be rather good or extremely terrifying news, depending on your perspective). As I understand it, Bill said “geological evidence” and Ken said, “the bible says so.” And Bill said “carbon and radioactive dating” and Ken said “Christian Mingle. Plus the bible says so.” And Bill said, “speed of light and distance between galaxies” and Ken said, “the bible says so.”

So Ken wins. Duh.

I saw a link at the Crappington Post for “Nine Pieces of Advice Every Woman Needs,” so I clicked on it, ‘cuz my wife never tires of me giving her unsolicited advice, and I thought there might be some useful shit in there like “just because the toilet tank lid is flat doesn’t mean you should pile shit on top of it,” or “if you wanna watch teevee, just turn on the teevee and the receiver, makes sure it’s set to ‘CBL/SAT’ for DirecTV or DVD for the Roku or DVD player, then turn on the DirecTV box (or DVD player – Roku is always on), then use the appropriate remote to navigate the menus to watch what you want. It’s easy, honest,” or “just because the lid to the pellet stove hopper is flat doesn’t mean you should pile shit on top of it,” or “it’s really not that hard to put air in your tires, honest, give it a try,” or “it really is a good idea to keep that jump starter thingie with the light and the compressor and even a USB port on it in your car in case of emergency,” or “it’s really not that hard to use that portable jump starter thingie to jump-start your car,” or “if you have a hard time getting out of the driveway on Sunday, you should really let me know sometime before I have to go to work on Monday morning.”

But instead it turned out to mostly a bunch of sappy quotes that would apply to both men and women equally.

Congrats, Huff Post – you got me again.

Speaking of not getting out of the driveway, we’re supposed to get deluged with snow this morning. They’re saying like maybe a foot – most of it coming in just the next couple of hours. All the schools preëmptively closed, so that’s a good thing. School buses are pain in the ass enough in good weather. I still don’t understand why, since I’m paying for them, they don’t have to pull over and get out of my way when they see me coming. Plus, they seem to pick these kids up right at their driveways. We never had curb service (not that we have curbs out here) when I was a kid. Plus they’ll sit there and wait with their flashers on for the little bastards darlings to come out of the house. Hey, if they’re not out there when the bus comes, fuck ’em. Maybe their parents will get them up and out the door a little earlier tomorrow.

Damn hippies coddled the current generation of young adults, and they turned out to be pretentious whiners that don’t think they have an obligation to pay for my Medicare and Social Security. Little turd balls.

Oh well, time to start thinking about getting out there and seizing the day.