Is half a Who better than none? I’m thinking no, but then maybe it’s just ‘cuz it seemed really odd to see Pete and what’s his face reduced to doing a “medley” (not to mention there’s something kinda pathetic about a couple of pensioners singing about “teenage” anything). What’s next? Vegas? Or maybe Roger Daltrey will cut an album of duets with Sarah McLachlan. Otherwise, though, it was a very entertaining football game, though I’d have appreciated it if they’d started (and ended) a little bit earlier. I skipped through all the commercials ’til I caught up to real time toward the end. I saw one commercial that I thought was pretty funny, though. It was something to do with a guy joining a woman’s book club, and one woman asks the guy, “so, do you like Little Women?” And he says, “yeah, I’m not fussy.”

What is it with New York’s Governors? The latest speculation is that Gov David Paterson will resign as soon as a NY Times story on some sort of sex scandal runs. Rumors I’ve heard are that Paterson and his wife are “swingers,” which, believe it or not, is a class B misdemeanor in NYS (not the swinging, per se, but the adultery part), punishable by a $500 fine or 90 days in jail. I think we’ve finally found a way to wipe out our deficit. If Paterson goes, I want Spitzer back. And please, sweet Jeebus, let there be no sex tape.

House Democrats have cranked out a pretty interesting chart detailing the job losses during this and the previous administration.

Republicans immediately responded with a chart of their own.

The liberal media dutifully reported that there was a dispute between Republicans and Democrats over which administration oversaw more job losses.

Oh well, seeing as I’m not one of those who lost their job (yet), I reckon I’d better go to work. If both weekend days combined would only last half as long as one work day, I’d be happy. At least I didn’t have to shovel anything.

Today on Press the Meat, it’s Deputy National Security Adviser John Brennan, on to answer Republicans questions about why Obama never uses the words “war” and “terror.” Then, from the 2010 Nude Economists Calendar, it’s Mr. September Hank Paulson, and Mr. December, big Al Greenspan. Plus there’s a roundtable with Former Chairman of the National Closeted Republicans Committee, Ed Gillespie and Former Clinton White House Press Secretary Dee Dee Myers.

Faze the Nation is live from Sun Life Stadium (really? That’s what they call it? I hope none of our bailout bucks went in to buying the naming rights) in Miami, where word has it there’s a football game going on later today. Bob Schieffer has NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, the not recently elected to the Hall of Fame, Shannon Sharpe, Phil “hey, at least I’m not as annoying as Chris Collinsworth” Simms and one of only a handful of sports broadcasters who didn’t go to SU, Jim Nantz (not to be confused with Jim Nance, who did go to SU).

At Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace has the Queen of the Tea Party, Sarah Palin.

On the Goebbels network, he’s barely been sworn into the Senate, but Baba Wawa wants to know if Scott Bwown is wunning for Pwesident. Aren’t we being a little desperate and needy there, my wepublican fwiends? Plus Jake “the mens room” Tapper interviews Tim Geithner, on to tell us how great things are going, now that labor prices have dropped so low, since people are desperate for work. Then it’s a roundtable with George :jerk: Will, Bloomberg’s Al Hunt, Piggy Peggy Noonan, Ruth Marcus of the Washington Post, and John Podesta.

At CNN, Fareed Zakaria has King Abdullah II of Jordan, plus he’ll sit down and listen to John Yoo torture the truth.

Of course, today’s big story is Super Bowl XLIV, numbered in honor of Floyd Little this year. It’s a little known fact that, without the Super Bowl (and the copyright notice at the end of movies), Roman numerals would have become extinct many years ago.

Today, it’s a team that’s never been to the Super Bowl, versus a team that ran out of Baltimore in the middle of the night like cowards, abandoning its fans, city, and state.

So, I’ll be pulling for the Saints today. I just hope it’s over before bedtime.

If you’re east of, oh, say, Ohio, and south of the NY/PA border down to Virgina or so, you’re probably waking up to a fun-filled day of shoveling snow. Here in the “Miami of the Northeast,” however, there’s nary a flake in sight. We’ve been pretty much screwed out of winter here this year. I was gonna say, “gypped out,” but then I realized that that’s an insensitive ethnic slur against Gypsies, so I can’t say that. After all, Sarah Palin might have a Gypsy relative, and then she’ll get all pissed off at me (if not Rush), and I wouldn’t want that. Plus it might offend Ariana Huffington.

Personally, I get a little tired of the perpetually offended (especially people who make a big show of pretending to be offended for some bullshit reason or another, but in reality couldn’t care less). Not that Rahm Emanuel isn’t an asshole, don’t get me wrong. I just think that if you’re not offended by invading other countries and killing its civilians or by the tens of thousands of people dying every year because they don’t have health insurance, then you don’t get to be “offended” by words. But whatever.

So, CBS is plugging tomorrow’s halftime show with “The Who” as a big deal. My question is, do two people make a Who? I mean, maybe you can go on w/o Keith Moon and call yourself The Who, but once you’re down to two old geezers, shouldn’t you call yourselves something else? Like “The Huh?” or something. I mean, you don’t see Paul and Ringo calling themselves The Beatles, and without Jerry, The Dead are no longer Grateful. Unless you’re gonna be one of these traveling oldies bands that has one old guy who played bass during a summer tour in ’72 trying to cash in on the old name, then you ought to come up with at least a slightly different name.

But I guess when you’re the official band of the CSI teevee franchise, you gotta go with the flow.

Oh well, there’s a lot I ought to be doing today, though I don’t know if I’ll actually do any of it. So I guess I’d better get started.

It was a very frantic and upsetting start to the morning today, as I woke up to find no Internet connection. Of course, my first inclination is to reset the router, and when that didn’t work, I looked at the router DHCP settings, and knew something was wrong, since the router was getting some caca IP address from the cable company. So, I released and renewed the IP address a few times, and finally reset the cable modem, too, in the hopes that that would do some good. Alas, it didn’t, and there was nothing left for me to do but sit on the futon and ping, waiting to see some signs of life. It’s not just that I couldn’t get to Internet, of course, but that Sedition Radio would also be unreachable from the outside, and I feel a responsibility to “the people.” As you may have guessed by now, things finally did come back up.

A new law goes into effect this month in NYS, requiring all homes (almost) to have carbon monoxide detectors. This is because somewhere in the neighborhood of 450 people die annually (in the entire United States of America) from CO poisoning. 450 out of, what, about 300 million? That’s something like .00015%. You’d think they’d have something more important to worry about (like, oh, I dunno, the 45,000 or so people that die annually from lack of health insurance). They won’t be sending the CO detector police out to your house, but if you die from CO poisoning and don’t have a detector, you’re gonna get fined. Frankly, our house has so many holes in it, I can’t see any significant amounts of CO building up anytime soon, though I think we actually have a detector someplace. It used to be on the ceiling in the basement, but we took it down to paint, and who knows where the hell it is now.

Big snow storm heading east for the weekend, and it’s going to stay well south of where I live. That means I get to laugh at people who live where a few inches of snow shuts everything down, without having to break out the shovel myself. Sounds like a plan.

Oh well, this whole Internet access kerfuffle has shortened my morning prep time, so I better get going. Let’s get this week over already – after all, it’ll be Monday soon.

OK, I give in. John Edwards is a dirtbag. You just can’t go around punching out your wife, even if you are really, really rich (and even if she hit you first). Too bad. I wonder if he was an asshole all these years, or if he just kinda went nuts somewhere along the line. Must be that mistress of his; I think she must have put one of those Heather Mills, witchy woman spells on him. Or something. Whatever the deal is, I don’t see anybody (other than Dennis Kucinich, who I’m pretty sure won’t be trying to beat up his wife, ‘cuz she’s a lot bigger than he is) out the ready to pick up the mantle of populist hero, so I guess I’ll just have to hope that the scales have fallen from Obama’s eyes, and he’s now going to turn into that closet liberal I keep hearing he is. Sounds like he may be getting ready to kick Larry Summers to the curb, which would be a good start, but I really think it’s time for him to tell Rahm Emmanuel tat it’s time for Rahm to spend more time with his family.

I have no idea who the Lady Gaga person is (a singer, I take it), but it’s apparently big news that she isn’t a dude. Or, it’s big news at the HuffPost, where it has to compete with such earth-shattering news as Snooki’s big makeover (yet another apparently famous person I’ve never heard of), Michelle Obama’s latest outfit, and the “7 Weirdest Things Women Do With Their Privates.” Now, maybe I’ve just led a sheltered life, but this seems kinda odd to me.

Jennifer Love Hewitt appeared on ‘Lopez Tonight’ Tuesday to hawk her new dating book. One of her tips: glue shiny things on your vadge.

“After a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovski-crystalled my precious lady,” she said. “It shined like a disco ball so I have a whole chapter in there on how women should vagazzle their vajayjays.”

I’m not sure what’s stranger – gluing things to your naughty bits, or having a “friend” do it. Maybe it’s just a guy thing, but not only to I have no idea what “Swarovski Crystals” are, but I also do not now – nor have I ever – had a desire to glue “shiny things” to any part of my my anatomy, and even if I did, I can’t think of a single friend who I’d be wiling to have do it. Then again, I don’t parade around wearing mini-skirts and no underwear, either (something I think the world can be grateful for).

I’m not one to tell anybody how to live their lives, but if you want my opinion, guys and gals, leave that stuff alone. It’s fine the way it is, and nothing good can come from mixing “glue” and your private parts.

Speaking of dicks (and shiny stuff, at least in the case of one’s head), Harold Ford and Michael Steel are going to discuss “America’s future direction,” and they’re actually getting paid to do it. Why anyone would pay these two creepy clowns to offer their worthless opinions is beyond me. Frankly, the only future I’m interested in is one with neither of those two in it.

That, and me winning the lottery.

OK, to everybody out there thinking about getting married, I just wanna say one thing. If you’re going over what your vows are gonna be at the ceremony and your soon-to-be spouse insists that you take out the part where you promise to be faithful to each other, you have no excuse for being surprised when he goes off to “hike the Appalachian Trail.” Now, I don’t honestly remember if my vows contained a fidelity clause or not (I might have kind of assumed it was implied by the whole “getting married” part – I mean, I understand shit happens, but why the hell get married if you’re not gonna at least start out with the goal of not screwing around), but when they go out of their way to say, “nope, uh-uh, no friggin’ way am I agreeing to that,” let’s face it: they’re really just not that into you. If you plan on marrying the bastid anyway, I think it’s time to take up drinking.

Speaking of drinking, times being what they are, Americans are officially drinking the cheap stuff now.

An industry report shows Americans’ love affair with top-shelf booze cooled last year as the recession took a toll on high-priced drinks.

The report shows shows people drank more but turned to cheaper brands. They also drank more at home….

Yep, we’re hanging out on the couch drinking rot gut, and we’re drinking lots of it. And good for us. If you’re going to hell, there’s no point in showing up sober.

If you’re one of the few people out there still looking for a good reason to start drinking, consider this: there are Republicans living among us, and a new DK/Research 2000 poll tells us what they’re thinking:

39% want Obama to be impeached. For what, I don’t know. I’m not sure being a “you-know-what” qualifies as a high crime or misdemeanor. More than six in ten Republicans think Obama is a socialist (for once, I wish they were correct). A minority of Republicans – 42% – believe Obama was born in the United States (the rest, presumably, either think he was born in Nigeria or aren’t sure whether Hawaii is part of the US or not – and you have to admit that them there Hawaiians don’t really look like regular Americans). A majority of Republicans – 53% – think Sarah Palin is more qualified than Obama to be president, and almost a quarter of them want to secede from the United States.

Fine, y’all can have Texas and elect Sarah as your queen (she can keep an eye on Hugo Chavez, ‘cuz I’m pretty sure you can see Venezuela from Houston – you better tell her he isn’t the President of Mexico first, though). Now shut up and leave us alone so we can have electric vehicles and universal health care out here in “real” America.

Nearly three-quarters of Republicans don’t think gay people should be allowed to teach in public schools. So what are all those unemployed teachers supposed do? Become republican Congressmen? I guess they can enlist in the military, too, once we get that whole “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” thing cleaned up (except I’m sure Republicans overwhelmingly disapprove of that, too).

And nearly a third of Republicans want contraception to be illegal. Not, “not taught in school,” but outright outlawed. The poll doesn’t say, but I’m guessing 99% of those would oppose taxes to pay to feed, house, and educate all those extra kids, and they damn sure wouldn’t want sex education taught in school – unless it’s “Abstinence Only,” of course. After all, “just say no” won the War on Drugs for us; it should work great for eliminating unwanted pregnancies, too.

Oh well, time to head out for work. Gotta pay my booze bill somehow.

Has anybody ever done a study on the affects of being constantly exposed to the sound frequency of an electronic beep? I mean, if they could come up with money for a study to see if dogs get jealous or cats only purr to get you to do what they want you to do, then you’d think somebody somewhere would pony up a few bucks for a study to see if incessant beeping is detrimental to your physical or mental health. I wonder, because it seem like everything around me beeps, and sometimes I feel like it’s driving me freakin’ crazy. My refrigerator beeps if I leave the door open too long, my stove beeps when the oven is done preheating (among other things), the microwave beeps for all kinds of reasons, the touchpads on all the appliances beep whenever you touch them – as do the buttons on my cellphone, the tv remote, and my Chumby touch screen – my cordless drill battery charger beeps (though I haven’t quite figure out why), and sometimes I hear shit beep, and I don’t even know what the hell it is. But whenever something beeps, I feel compelled to respond in some way shape or form (if for no other reason than to shut it the hell up; the microwave is particularly insistent on attention). Pavlov must be salivating in his grave.

I wonder if the iPad will beep at you, too? I signed up to be notified when the iPad is ready to ship, though I don’t think I’ll be picking one up anytime soon. They have some work to do on it before I’d buy one. For one thing, there’s no USB port, and with a meager base memory of 16-gigs, I think not having a USB port for plugging in an external storage device (or non-proprietary keyboard, etc.) is a deal breaker. I’d also want an SD (or mini-SD, or even micro-SD) card slot in it. I know Apple wants you to pay more for the extra storage space, but still. The iPad would also be a lot more appealing to me if it ran the Mac OS. Sadly, you’re stuck with an oversized iPhone/iPod Touch device, and locked in to Apple-approved applications. That’s fine for people who are happy to take what Apple is willing to give them, and it might even be fine for a phone (though I think I’d prefer my wife’s Droid – both for what it does now, and the future potential it has), but for what amounts to a “net-tablet” it doesn’t cut it for me. And, of course, if you want a 3G model, you’re stuck with ATT. I don’t care what the guy on the commercial says, the ATT network blows, and coverage (in my area, anyway) is pretty spotty.

I’ve been using a Macbook Pro pretty much exclusively at home these days, and I definitely like it – but more for the hardware than the OS. Frankly, I don’t find the Mac OS to be some crazy big improvement over Windows. I often hear people say they got all kinds of viruses and whatnot with Windows, but that’s never really been a problem for me. While I’ve always had some sort of AV stuff installed as a backup, I tend tro practice “safe computing,” and have never had the virus and spyware issues that other people do (especially people who let their kids use the company laptop at home).

As for the Mac, I’ve had the thing lock up on me two or three times. You don’t get the BSOD, of course. You get a message in several languages saying, “sorry, Charlie.” There are also times when the damn thing sits there and hesitates, too. Again, you don’t get the stupid hour glass – you get the stupid little multicolor pinwheel. And the patches! Holy crap, there are more patches for this thing than Windows has (and the patches are huge in size). I also don’t like that when you click the little red close thing, it doesn’t actually close the application you’re in. Granted, you can hit Command-Q, but if you’re not careful, you can leave a lot of shit open w/o realizing it. There are a few other annoyances with it as well, but nothing too major (no forward delete button, for instance – you have to use fn+delete instead – and the mouse gestures – or whatever they call it on these things – sometimes are annoying; anybody know if there’s a keyboard equivalent of Windows alt+tab?).

As for things, I like, I really like that it isn’t plastic, and is carved from a solid block of aluminum. The touchpad is great – very large, and I like that it does different things based on how many fingers I give it. Battery life is good, too (which it better be, because you can’t just pop in a spare). The maglock power cord is good, but can be annoying at times. And, while there aren’t as many things available for Mac as there are for Linux and Windows, you can find alternative apps to what for most things.

Well, time to get ready to go. Soon, they’ll be pulling that poor, drugged woodchuck out of his hole. I never really got that whole thing. Why don’t they just say if it’s sunny on Feb 2nd, then there’s gonna be 6 weeks of winter (or the opposite; I always forget which way that works).

Oh well, it’s tradition, I guess.

I didn’t actually watch “This Weak” on the Goebbels network yesterday, so I was spared the ordeal of looking at Roger Ailes in HD. There was one Tweet (that’s what you call it, right?) that said “Roger Ailes on “This Week” looked like he wanted to enslave Arianna in his harem and freeze Paul Krugman in carbonite.” I thought that was pretty funny (I guess you either get that one or don’t). Speaking of Jabba the Hut, I watched “Embedded” last night. It was very well written and staged, and Tim Robbins looked great in his Rush Limbaugh fat suit.

According to the teevee, the Grammy’s were last night. Has it been a year already? It seems like just yesterday that some guy I never heard of beat the crap out of some woman I never heard of (though I think she was named after a song Stevie Nicks wrote), which was somehow related to the Grammy Awards. This year, Beyoncé (who I have actually heard of, though I’m totally unfamiliar with any of her songs (that’s what they call ’em, right?) except for the one the one that goes “lemmee lemmee lemmee up-up-upgrade upgrade ya,” that they used for a DirecTV commercial (it was kind of annoying, really) set a new Grammy record for winning 6 Grammies. Seems like the Beatles should have won more than that – but I reckon maybe there were fewer categories back then (when, as my mother used to say, music was music). I have no idea what else went on, except I heard that Taylor Swift (actually heard of her, too; saw her on SNL one night. Not bad for a white chick) won album of the year (can’t have been a very good year for albums), and I guess they weren’t quite done exploiting Michael Jackson and his kids. Hopefully, “this is it.”

What with all the uppy downy temperature-wise this weekend, my poor old knees are killing me. I’m walking around like Fred Sanford here (fortunately, thanks to the place where I cut myself with a hacksaw, whatever the hell it is I stepped on that now seems to be stuck in my foot, the place where I slashed my palm with a ple, and the plywood splinter that seems to have embedded itself a few inches down into my finger, my knee pain is much less noticeable this morning). I’ve been considering installing Zerk fittings so I can shoot some grease in there. Or maybe just a hypodermic full of Teflon spray. I guess I need to spend a little time in the schwitzer and cook ’em up a bit.

Not now, though. Now it’s time to go.