President Obama plans on traveling to and speaking at a memorial service in Tuscon tomorrow. Does that seem like a good idea? I mean, I know there’s the Secret Service and all that, but still. As long as Joe from Tempe is still on the loose, I think I’d stay away from Arizona – especially if I was black, Mexican, or a mythical liberal. Of course, I don’t like the heat, so I’d stay away from there anyway. Unless it would get me out of going back to work today.

Down there in Atlanta, though, I reckon they wouldn’t mind some of the Arizona desert weather. It’s difficult not to chuckle when I read something like this

Heavy snow is expected to begin falling in the Atlanta area tonight, possibly reaching three to five inches….

But of course they just don’t have the equipment or expertise to deal with snow and ice down there. For one thing, it takes money – in the form of tax dollars. And we know how much people hate taxes.

Here, after getting, oh, I dunno, maybe five inches or so through noon yesterday, the snow stopped, and I was able to scrape the driveway down. More snow this afternoon, though, and it’s supposed to snow all week long. Nothing major. A few inches here, a few inches there. More where I live, I’m sure. If things stay true to form, it should be kind of shitty tonight, because it’s garbage night. And the weather always sucks on garbage night.

I was glad to see that the Philadelphia Eagles lost – at home, which is even better – the the Green Bay Packers yesterday. Not that I especially give a crap about the Packers, but I’ve long thought the Eagles and their fans suck for the the way they treated Donovan McNabb while he was there, and, sorry, just can’t get behind the redemption of Michael Vick. A piece of shit is a piece of shit, and I can only assume that, since Vick threw a game-ending interception, he just doesn’t have what it takes to be in the game and will need to be dealt with in the same way that Vick felt it necessary to deal with “under-performing” dogs. Sorry, but that’s just how I feel. So I’m not really down with Charles Barkley defending Vick, but I can only agree with Sir Charles’ assessment of Tucker Carlson.

“Tucker Carlson, who’s a nobody. He used to work for us over here. We fired him because he sucked….”

Ayup.

Predictably, Arizona Konservatives – such as their non-mavericky but equally crazy Jon Kyl – and their minions at Fux News and talk radio – such as Megan Kelly – are jumping all over Sheriff Clarence Dupnik for stating the obvious.

“The anger, the hatred, the bigotry that goes on in this country is getting to be outrageous. And unfortunately, Arizona I think has become sort of the capital. We have become the mecca for prejudice and bigotry.”

I feel a great deal of pity for people like Dupnik, KP, Kevin, Okat, and others who aren’t assholes but live in places like AZ, TX, OK, FL, etc. But they aren’t enough to keep me from wishing we could just cut them loose and let them have the crappy country of their own that they so deeply desire and deserve. Not that things are perfect here, that’s for sure. We managed to elect (barely) a teabagger to Congress, and reading the online comments on the local newspaper website both outrages and embarrasses me. And of course we’re afflicted by the same vile AM talk radio creatures that permeate the airwaves everywhere else.

So, maybe things aren’t really any better here. But I think there’s something about 4 or 5 months of cold weather that keeps the crazy in check a little bit better. All that heat just can’t be good for the brain.

Oh well, lots to do today. I took the day off, so hopefully I can get a few things done.

Have a good one.

I think it should be pretty clear today to even the most spineless of liberals that there just aren’t enough guns in Arizona. Had everyone been armed at that Safeway yesterday, the shooter would have been either sufficiently deterred in the first place, or have been taken out after only capping a half dozen people (give or take – depending on the secondary casualties and collateral damage). So, I propose that all the grocery stores (but not Whole Foods – we don’t wanna arm the goddamn liberals) and Wal-Marts have handguns affixed to every shopping cart (I’m thinking with a chain or aviation cable or something; it would make those early morning ‘Black Friday’ sales a lot more interesting, for one thing).

The cart wranglers would be charged with checking and reloading the weapons when they bring them back inside, and, in the case of a mass shooting like yesterday (whether somebody wants to keep the government from sticking their mitts into your Medicare, or there’s just a dispute over a parking spot), shoppers need only circle the carts around themselves wagon train style, and start taking people out (my suggestion would be to try and park your SUV as close to the cart return as possible – and look for a full one. Oh, and make sure you have a Jesus Fish on the back, so we all know not to shoot it; it’s kinda like automotive lamb’s blood).

I fully expect Maverick McCain to announce that he’ll be introducing federal legislation to this effect tomorrow.

I also expect McCain, Limbaugh, O’Reily, Hannity, Palin, Bachmann and others of their ilk (and by “ilk” I of course mean god-fearing Kristian Americans) to exploit this situation for their own political purposes by making speeches denouncing anyone who would exploit this situation for their own political purposes, while expressing shock – shock, I say – at the fact that anyone would take their suggestions that there be a “second amendment solution” to the scourge of liberalism threatening this nation’s very existence literally. Which is too bad.

Really, they ought to be proud of the fact that they control the crazy people, and can manipulate them into going on shooting sprees or mailing exploding packages or whatever. Oh, sure, it’s sad that a 9-yr old kid born on that most glorious of high holy days – 9/11, aka “Giuliani Day” – had to die, but I reckon it’s worth the price of an activist judge and a Democratic congresscritter who – get this – voted for death panels and the destruction of the best damn health care system in the world. I mean, you wanna make a great mayonnaise, you gotta break a few eggs, right?

These people (the ones who are actually willing to go beyond sitting in their La-Z-Boys® drinking beer and yelling at the teevee and take up arms) may be the fringe of the fringe, but they’re the crazy fringe, and they’re angry, armed, and ready for action. As soon as somebody tells them who it is they’re angry at, and what sort of action they need to take.

No need to be obvious about it, of course. Just call somebody a baby killer that needs to be stopped, put gun sights on a map, suggest a 2nd amendment solution, or have a “Shoot a Fully Automatic M16″ to “Get on Target” and “Remove Gabrielle Giffords” event.

You know, be subtle.

No point in letting those folks in Afghanistan have all the fun.

Back when I was a little kid, I think I read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, oh, I dunno, maybe 10,000 times each. Of course, they were still new back then. The thought of Tom and Becky (I still have the hots for Becky Thatcher :hubba:. I bet Huck was doing her behind Tom’s back) being lost in that cave still sends shivers down my spine. And when Injun Joe threw that knife at Tom when he was on the witness stand and then crashed out the window? Oh, awesome, man (the people responsible for turning these books into a freakin’ musical with that prissy kid from Family Affair should be shot – though I’d be willing to grant a pardon to whoever cast Jodie Foster as Becky). Except, guess what? It aint gonna be “Injun” Joe anymore.

That’s right, in an effort to appease those crusading, professionally offended do-gooders out there who apparently have nothing better to do than ban books from schools because your kids can’t handle the content, damnit, the John F. Blair publishing company (whose rich history dates all the way back to 1954 – fun fact: the first book they published was written by John Henry Boner) has seen fit to publish a new edition combining these two classics, retroactively censoring Mark Twain in favor of more politically correct language (I’d make a white-washing the fence analogy, but it would be too obvious). Oh, it’s OK to have Joe be a homicidal maniac – you just can’t refer to him in an insensitive manner.

Thus, “half-breed” becomes “half-blood” (what, that’s better? I guess if it’s good enough for Harry Potter, right?), Injun Joe becomes Indian Joe, and Huck’s friend Jim (referred to by the name that white people can’t use in public any more) becomes, “the slave Jim” (I’m surprised they didn’t make it “native American Joe” and “African-American Jim”).

I can’t wait to read Blair’s upcoming “History of the Civil Rights Movement,” where the kindly white folks meet their black friends in Selma and let them play with their puppies while offering them cool drinks of water from high pressure hoses to slake their thirst, or perhaps a new tome about the Civil War, detailing the South’s fight to preserve “State’s rights” against the aggressors from the North.

I also eagerly anticipate the remake of Blazing Saddles

“Good day, ma’am.”

“Up yours, nice looking young African American man.”

I’m sorry, but things were the way they were, and people did what they did and spoke the way they spoke, and while it might be shocking or embarrassing or inconvenient to remember the way it was, it’s important to do so. We don’t want to amend every piece of literature in existence until all that’s left are West Virginia history books and officially sanctioned Texas Board of Education versions of how the world is 4,000 years old and fossils are a practical joke left by God to test our faith, do we?

I mean, you might as well make a big show of reading the US Constitution on the floor of the House of Representatives and leaving out the inconvenient part where our glorious founding fathers allow slavery, oppress women, and consider black people worth about 60% of a “real” human being.

But only a bunch of assholes would do that.

Just in case you weren’t sufficiently convinced that Obama is a corporatist lackey, the President has finally decided on a new Chief of Staff to replace Rahm “Sweet Cheeks” Emanuel. His name is William Daley, and he’s a millionaire former investment banker, former head of SBC Communications (I think we can officially kiss Net Neutrality goodbye), and son of the epitome of all things ethical, Chicago’s original (and still the best) Mayor Richard Daley. Still have doubts (or should I say hopes)? Consider this:

Republicans and business leaders were more enthusiastic. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said the choice sounded like ” a good idea.” Thomas Donahue, president of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, called it a “strong appointment.”

Endorsed by Ferret Face and Tom Donahue? Golly, he must be good.

With extensive experience as a businessman and Wall Street executive, Daley comes to the administration positioned to help the president rebuild his frayed relationship with the corporate world.

Yes, because Obama just hasn’t sucked enough Republican and Wall Street dick in his first two years.

Daley…[has served] as Midwestern chairman of J.P. Morgan Chase…has been a bank president, vice chairman of a boutique investment firm and president of a communications giant. He has been on the boards of Boeing, Fannie Mae and Electronic Data Systems, earning a sizable fortune along the way.

Announcing Daley on Thursday, Obama said his new chief of staff has “led major corporations; he possesses a deep understanding of how jobs are created and how to grow our economy.”

And of course he parrots that most Republican of of talking points – that huge mega corporations and investment banks “create jobs” (as opposed to moving them offshore in order to maximize profits for their shareholders).

Well done, Mister Crazy Liberal Nigerian President. Well done indeed.

More snow on the way, but not too much here. Your basic 2 to 5 inches (which probably means at least 5 where I live, which is OK by me – as long as the commute in to work is OK).

Unfortunately, I got a letter from the country water authority (which has perhaps the best acronym ever invented – the Onondaga County Water Authority, or OCWA), stating that the jig is up and they know I live here now. They want my information (which is odd, ‘cuz they appear to have it already), and my meter reading. Water meters are typically in the basement (by, like, where the water comes in), but out here in God’s Country, we don’t play that. It’s out by the street someplace – about 300 feet from the house, and buried under quite a bit of snow.

I’m afraid if they want the meter reading before spring, they’re just gonna have to come and get it themselves.

Normally, “homemade” and “bungee” are two words that don’t go together. At least, not if you’re tied to one and thrown off a building. And, despite the screams, apparently willingly. I don’t know if this can be chalked up to the stupidity of youth, or that things are so crappy in Russia the kids just don’t give a shit. Either way, while it looks like fun, better this chick than me.

So I was watching the news this morning, and for some reason they had a story about Starbucks getting a new logo to celebrate its 40th anniversary this year. Forty years of shitty, overpriced coffee sold in cups with stupid names, like Vente and Grande (what’s the difference between a Starbucks 20oz Grande and a Dunkin’ Donuts 20oz large? About $4). Amazing what marketing will do. Not that they were ubiquitous from day one back in 1971, I guess. Seems like back then, there wasn’t a Starbucks on every corner (sometimes across the street from each other). And I don’t think I was drinking coffee back then, though it was often my job to make it, ‘cuz I was good at it as a kid (back then, it took a little skill, sort of, as I either used the electric percolator or – my personal favorite – the glass vacuum coffee maker with the two globes and the glass rod that you cooked on the stove. I wish I still had that sucker). Ah, those were the days.

I haven’t looked out at the driveway this morning, but I suppose I ought to take a look. Yesterday, the weather caught me a but by surprise, and it wasn’t until I went to leave the house that I realized we’d gotten about a foot of snow. I had to jump on the tractor and plow things out real quick like, and there was another six inches or so waiting for me when I got back home last night. Things weren’t so bad as I got closer to work, but if it’s gonna snow anywhere around here, it’s gonna be where I live these days. And it’s pretty consistently 5 degrees colder (which will be nice come summer – though I have a pool now, so, assuming I can afford to open and run it, maybe I won’t hate the heat so much).

It appears our new Guv likes him some PowerPoint, and his State of the State address yesterday was PP intensive as he described how he’s gonna reform the NY State government and balance the budget by cutting Medicaid, capping property taxes, freezing the pay of state workers, and preserving tax cuts for rich people (but he’s taking a 5% pay cut, so I guess he’ll be suffering, too; no doubt, he and his girlfriend from the Food Network live paycheck-to-paycheck).

Everybody hates State workers, of course, and when you work for a State hospital, cuts to Medicaid are a double whammy – not only do you lose the State funding, but also the Federal matching funds (not that the mandate to treat the poor people goes away, of course). So there could be tough times ahead for yours truly (and Mrs. Yours Truly). On the bright side, though, the place where we work is actually run well, takes in more money than it has in expenses, and gets a pretty small amount of its funding from the State – only 11% last year, and that includes SUNY funding. In fact, according to the bean counters, every $1 invested by the State in our institution returns $19.

Uncle Andy will no doubt also want to cut (or at least freeze) aid to schools, and if districts aren’t able to raise property taxes, then, well, the public schools are just gonna have to take the hit.

They’re saying that the Syracuse school district alone is facing a loss of at least 700 positions. I can’t imagine what NYC will have to do.

But as long as all those investment bankers and stock brokers, and all the other folks that hob Andy’s nob get their tax cuts, it’s all worth it, I guess.

I really shoulda moved to Canada when I had the chance.

Oh well, time to go see how much snow is in the driveway.

Every once in a while, you see a dead bird lying dead on the side of the road for no apparent reason. This is a big deal when we have our West Nile Virus scares around here (don’t be picking up the dead crows and making soup out of ’em), and it’s always kinda creepy. But when the birds start falling out of the sky by the hundreds – thousands, even – that’s beyond creepy. A portent of the end times, perhaps? Is this what we have to look forward to in the lead-up to 12/21/2012? Dead birds, locusts, tap water that ignites, Republicans in control of all three branches of government? Sounds pretty horrible.

Of course the “government” wants to keep us in the dark and has an excuse for everything. In the case of the giant bird kill in Arkansas, they say a fireworks celebration killed some 3,000 birds (who got all shook up from the boom-booms, and started flying into things). Funny how I never heard of that happening before, what with there being fireworks every July 4th – among other occasions – for my whole life. Maybe that’s ‘cuz fireworks typically happen a night, and birds (the non-night hunter ones, anyway) don’t really do a lot of flying at night (so they don’t fly into shit)?

Now the demise of a few hundred birds in Louisiana is being blamed on power lines. Presumably, from flying into them and breaking their backs, wings, and beaks. Because power lines are such a new invention and all, and we’ve just never heard of that before.

The next thing you know, they’ll be telling us that those trails that jets leave across the sky are condensation, and that the Twin Towers fell because airplanes flew into them. Puh-leeze. You expect me to fall for that?

We know that the world as we know it is about to wrap it up, partly because the Mayan calendar ends (not that they made any kind of a notation or anything; you’d think the end of times would at least rate the Mayan equivalent of an asterisk or something), but because some guy has a website with painfully small font mixing sciencey sounding terms like “quantum” and “electrogravitational symmetry” with cool pictures that says so. And that’s good enough for me.

“Officials” go on to say that

…massive wildlife kills are not uncommon.

Well, that’s reassuring.

I just wish I could know for sure that everything’s gonna be over in less than two years. Then I’d just max out my credit cards and enjoy myself for a couple of years.

But the government wants to make sure we keep working and paying our taxes so that the elite can continue to build their underground bunkers where they’ll ride out the coming global super storm with their master – Dick Cheney.

So I guess I better get going.

Back to work today, after a”day off” that’s left me exhausted. Right now, I can’t imagine how I’ll make it through the day, but after a relaxing hour or so in the dentist’s chair, I’m sure I’ll perk right up. I really wish it was Friday.

Oops. Went off to Home Depot and forget to put something up. So, like, Happy Sunday.

I actually made it ’til midnight last night. But not much past. Didn’t even get to the Champagne NY State Sparkling Wine. Oh well, maybe next year. Turns out, beer isn’t as great as I remembered it. Not on this end of things, anyway. Holy Crap! Look up there on the right corner – it’s twenty frickin’ eleven! 😯 When did that happen? Damn, I must be old now. Happy New Year, everybody.