It’s getting really difficult to deal with this freakin’ Macbook these days. The touchpad – oh, excuse me, trackpad – has gotten very erratic and annoying. Bad enough when the “click” button stopped working (only a hassle when logging in, since after that my account preferences take over, though the touch click or whatever you call it really ought to be the default), but the other day the stupid thing became all but unusable. In fact, just letting it sit with a browser open, it started going around and opening windows on its own. I couldn’t figure out who the hell was talking, until I looked over and saw that it had somehow managed to go to MSNBC and open up an old Keith Olbermann show. Since then, it’s gotten better, but needs a rather frequent system reset to get it better. This is a hassle. And a shame, since I like the behavior of the trackpad (I find it difficult to use a “regular” touchpad these days, since I’m constantly trying to scroll with two fingers). Still, I may just need to wipe all my stuff off of this thing and bring it back to work.

Yes (OKat), it does snow quite a bit more here than it does in Ithaca. Our snow is a conspiracy between Canada and it’s northwest winds, and Lake Ontario. Cold air sweeps across the lake picking up moisture as it goes, and then promptly dumps it over land. So, depending on which way the wind blows, we get dumped on. Ithaca is too far south to get much lake effect. Of course, our friends “up north” as we say around here get the real snow. Our 173″ pales in comparison to Redfield, for instance, which has already seen 299″ of snow this season.

Of course, there are a lot fewer people – and vehicles – up that way (not that Syracuse is exactly a megalopolis of anything), so it makes dealing with the snow (and driving to work) a bit easier.

But right now I’m more concerned with the potential for flooding than I am with the snow on the ground. It would be nice if we got a bunch of not too warm but sunny days (the past two have been absolutely gorgeous), where the snow could melt slowly (and maybe even sublime a bit). It’s already warmer this morning that it was yesterday, though, and it’s supposed to rain. Then turn to sleet and freezing rain, then maybe a couple inches of snow, then back to rain. Kinda sucks, I think I need to build a cistern to drain all this frickin’ groundwater into. I better check Harbor Freight to see how much a Chinese jackhammer goes for.

Speaking of shopping, it’s “Chick Days” at Tractor Supply. No, no free drinks for the ladies, but chicks, ducks, and bantams will be available. I’d get some, but I’m not much for eggs, and frankly couldn’t bring myself to slaughter them for meat. I suppose I could try and sell free range eggs (there’s a place up the turnpike a piece what sells them for $3 a dozen, which seems kind of expensive), but I doubt it would keep me in feed, and there’s an awful lot of critters out there in the woods that I’m sure would have no compunction whatsoever about killing a few chickens for dinner.

Alright, well, time to reboot this POS laptop before I pick it up and smash it. Have a good one.

Spring practice starts today for the SU football team. Of course, there’s too much snow to have it outside, so things have been moved indoors. That’s springtime in Syracuse for ya. To be fair, it’s not actually spring yet – there’s almost two weeks to go for that. And since, statistically, we normally get another 27+” of snow from here on out, we seem to have at least a chance of hitting the 200″ mark. Or it could just rain for two months. Either way, my sump pump is getting pretty stressed out. Or I’m getting pretty stressed out at the thought of it (or them) crapping out. Remind me to order some hip waders.

They said the snow would stop around midnight last night. They lied. It hasn’t stopped yet. I don’t know how much we got, but all the schools are closed, and I thought maybe after I plowed at around 6:00 last night, I could get away without doing it again this morning. Looks like I was wrong about that. So, time to finish up this cup of watery coffee, and put in some tractor time. It’s cold, too, damnit. In the teens and windy. Plus, listening to the sump pumps run all night kept me awake. I know it’s only if I don’t hear them that I need to worry, but my brain refuses to listen to me. Not the first time for that. Oh well, I guess I better saddle up.

I put in some tractor time yesterday, and it was nice to be out there when it wasn’t horribly cold out. Of course, it was kind of windy and rainy, but the temperatures were up in the 40s, which is doing pretty good this time of year. It was in the 40s when I got up this morning, even, but it’s down to 38° right now, and the rain is supposed to turn to snow. Six to twelve inches of snow, with “locally heavier amounts,” which means I guess it’s a good thing I moved the snow piles around and uncovered the parts of the driveway I haven’t seen in a while. Now, at least, I have someplace to push more snow when it arrives. Otherwise, I got a jump on my chores this morning, having cleaned the pellet stove, restocked the fireplace nook with a week’s worth of pellets, and am 2/3 of the way done with my laundry. If only I could get somebody to go and fetch me some plywood, I’d get a start on a few other projects I have in mind while I wait for the snow to start. I guess I’ll just have to sit by the fire instead.

Nice that the weekend has finally arrived. It’s warm, even – already well above freezing – though it’s supposed to be rainy today, I think. The sump pump is already rumbling away, and it should be mighty busy this weekend. I don’t know if I’ll get around to it, but I need to grab some plywood to start my next project around here. If only there was some way to have it beamed from Home Depot to my workshop. That shit’s pretty heavy and awkward to maneuver with, and I’m starting to feel like a weak old geezer – never quite sure what twist or turn is gonna tweak some poor, long ignored and/or abused body part, making it painful and useless for a few days. This getting old shit sucks.

There are obvious reasons why getting old sucks, of course. There are the aches and pains, the failure of the brain to store the important shit (like where my keys are and “what did I come in here for again?”), while refusing to let go of the useless shit (like my high school locker combination, and the 96 frames per second HD video loop – with full 7.1 surround sound – of every moment of the time I asked that girl out in 11th grade and was utterly humiliated by her response; on the bright side, the bitch is dead now), and of course the whole being closer to death thing.

But, as any geezer can tell you, that’s not the half of it. There are a lot of more subtle disadvantages to getting old. Like, not being able to just go and take a piss without a lot of coaxing and cajoling and taking half the day (only to feel like you’ve gotta go again about 30 seconds after you’re done). And it takes a lot longer, too. I don’t know if there’s some filter in there someplace that needs to be replaced or cleaned out, or what, but damn.

When I was a kid, I used to piss so hard, my feet would hover off the ground an inch or two. I could drain a few gallons, and the whole process would take about eight seconds – twelve, if it was the first piss of the night at a bar, and I’d been holding back.

Now, I can only imagine that all that mighty internal plumbing has been replaced by some funky Rube Goldberg device, and I’m standing there staring at the tiles and killing time while the mouse takes the cheese causing the long line dominoes to fall over one at a time, eventually releasing the little ball which rolls round and round and round the track until finally…. Damn, that’s all?

It’s bad enough in the privacy of your own home (other than the internal debate as to whether or not it’s worth it to get out of bed, ‘cuz even though it feels as though your bladder is about to explode, you just know nothing much is gonna happen once you get there; ah, back in my youth, the toilet was a cold, stable friend to hold securely on to while waiting for the earth to stop spinning. Why has friend suddenly become nemesis?), but when you’re too old to work and too poor to quit, you have to deal with public rest rooms.

I hate public rest rooms. Mostly because the “public” consists of nasty stinky filthy goddamn people who apparently eat the most godawful substances, and then scurry in to work to shit it all out. Have these people no shame? And how can it possibly take so long for them to wash their hands? Jesus f*cking Krist, whattya prepping for surgery, buddy? Or did you shit all over your hands? Try using the toilet paper next time. I know it’s that horrible single-ply 30 grit sandpaper they stock in there, but, hey, until they put in a bidet, I guess that’s what you’re stuck with.

On a side note, have you ever seen people who brush and floss their teeth in the mens room sink? I mean, is it just me, or does that gross you the fuck out, too? :yuck:

And I’m all for adequate preparation, but could you please wait ’til you get up to the goddamn urinal before you start undoing stuff? When I’m there facing the tiles waiting for the goddamn mouse to hurry up and take cheese already!, it’s pretty disconcerting to hear a zipper go down from behind me (not that there’s anything wrong with that). And, here’s a clue for ya, you don’t need to undo your belt buckle to take a piss, ‘cuz you’re a dude! Seriously, go wait in line in the womens room if you need to start taking shit off to take a leak.

And go outside and shit in the dumpster, you nasty bastard.

Now, what was it I was saying? Oh hell, I can’t remember. I gotta go take a piss, anyway.

Happy holidays.

Thank God (and by “God” I mean “Jobs”) that I never caved in and bought an iPad. Because soon I’ll be able to covet an iPad2. On the odd chance you missed it, the iPad2 will be coming out a week from today, on March 11. This latest version will offer revolutionary features that have already been available on other devices (which, of course, don’t count because they aren’t Apple products – Apple being the “Notre Dame” of consumer electronics) like front and rear cameras and the ability to to be used as a personal Wi-Fi hotspot.

Of course, the iPad will continue to be tightly controlled and proprietary (no USB ports for external devices, no SD card slots to expand the memory, no “unauthorized” apps or even apps developed on unapproved platforms), which is also a “feature” of Apple products. Naturally, I want one, but am quite frankly not in a position to shell out the $500 for the most basic, 16-gig, WiFi only version ($700 for the 64-gig and $829 for 64-gig and 3G).

I also don’t want what is basically a new method of consumption (I’m consuming too damn much as it is). I prefer something that I can use to be creative (not that I’m actually being creative, mind you, but it’s nice to know I could be, if not for the lack of talent and/or ambition – otherwise I’d think of some useless f*cking iPad/iPhone app and sell it for $.99).

For $500, I could build myself a pretty damn robust desktop, which is what I really need. The computers I have now are getting mighty old, and this Macbook Pro I’ve been using for quite a while now is plenty good as a consumption device.

Not that anybody’s listening to me, but, next time they bring Steve “Yurtle the Turtle” Jobs out of suspended animation, I think they ought to introduce hardware subscriptions (or leases, if you prefer). A certain amount down (enough to more or less cover whatever it is they pay to the Chinese labor camps to cover the cost per unit), and then so much a month. So, like, you pay $200 ($279 if you want the 2-yr Applecare) to get one shipped to you (I don’t know how accurate this is, but last I looked, the estimated production cost per unit was about $229), and then you agree to lease it for, say $20 a month for two years. Total outlay to Apple, $680 or $759 with the Applecare, which you know you’re gonna get because, hey, you just gotta (plus all the apps they can sell you), and then after 2 years, you get the honor of upgrading.

I think this would be touted as pure, unadulterated genius (not that this would be anything new, of course, since it’s pretty much the cell phone model in this country), and Apple could generate more revenue by claiming a patent on it and charging royalties to any company that infringes on its “iLease” patents (or face legal action from the increasingly litigious Apple Corp). They could even roll in wireless access with the lease price by leasing air time from cellular companies and rebranding it under the Apple umbrella (with a suitable markup for consumers, of course).

Brilliant!

So, anyhow, when Apple starts doing this, I want y’all to remember this, so I can cash in on it. I’m not greedy. A couple million bucks and a Steve Jobs® queen size cryogenic chamber big enough to hold me, granny and the dogs is all I’m looking for.

In the meantime, let’s get this week over with already.

Charlie Sheen. OK, just wanted to get that out of the way. Otherwise, not much going on. It’s cold here. Zero, last I checked, and it’ll probably get colder before it gets warmer, which I suppose is an improvement over yesterday, which started out as a blustery yet early spring-like day, and turned into a bitterly cold and windy and nasty and shitty late winter one. Today, at least, isn’t supposed to be so windy.

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting awfully tired of this whole Libya thing (unlike Charlie Sheen, which I can’t get enough of. People call him crazy, but I think I’ll wait ’til I see if he gets his $3 million an episode before I concur. Plus, I hear they’re already penning “Major League 3” to cash in on the publicity), mostly because whenever I hear “Libya,” the song “Libya, oh Libya. Say have you met Libya the taaaaaa-tooed lady” runs through my head. It was cute for a while, but now I’m tired of it.

Oh well, time to get ready to face the cold hard day.

It’s true that I am not a clerk,
nor am I a soda jerk.
I haven’t got the wish to shirk,
but must I really go to work?

The one thing that’d be worse than workin’,
would be to have to wear a merkin
in order to warm up my gherkin,
while in the shower I be lurkin’.

But in order to be able
to pay my bills (like, for cable),
put some food upon the table,
and maybe buy my wife a sable

(not to mention have assurance
that I can pay for my insurance),

I can see no real good option
(other than perhaps adoption),
than to drag my ass out of that door
and be a dirty wage slave whore
(for today and evermore).

The one thing that is surely certain,
however bad I might be hurtin’,
is that there’s truly no way out
(no matter how I stomp and shout).

No way for me, not for a fox,
(not even for a big old ox) –
except for feet first in a box.

And though my neck feels in a noose
(I do admit, I’m quite obtuse),
don’t think I am a silly goose,
when I say “Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss.”

OK, I admit that’s pretty bad, but, hey give me a break, it’s early.

Yesterday was spring-like. Until I got home, at which point it turned cold and nasty. Oh well, that was February, and today is March. And March, as they say, comes in like a lion, and goes out like, well, around here it usually goes out like a lion, too. But we generally get at least a few nice days. For instance, I can (vaguely) recall some 70+ degree St. Patrick’s Days. Of course, I also recall the 1993 Big East Tournament weekend, when we got almost four feet of snow in one day (the worst part was that SU lost the championship game to Seton Hall by over 30 points). Took two days of near-constant shoveling to dig out of that one. Beware the Ides of March, indeed (though I’m pretty sure I’d rather have to shovel snow than be stabbed to death).

That ’92-’93 season was a lot like this one, where it not only snowed at least a little bit every day, but the snow started in October and it never really warmed up all year, so we had a pretty tremendous snowpack. That March storm was just the icing on the cake of what would be our snowiest season on the books at 192.1″. Right now, we’ve got 160.3″, so one of those 40″ late season N’oreasters would definitely put us over the top. Whatever happens, now, though, we know it won’t last too much longer.

Tonight is garbage night here (or perhaps “Garbage Eve” is more accurate), which typically means shitty weather. It’s kind of nice to have a garbage day these days. At the old house we (and by we, I mean Granny) used to take the garbage to the dump ourselves. This was a lot cheaper (recyclables are free, and you buy stickers to put on the bags – $1 a sticker, no matter how huge and impossible to lift because it’s full of cat litter), but meant there was a tendency for the garbage bags to pile up a bit, despite all best intentions. So now, no matter how much or how little, it goes away every week (‘cuz I’m paying for it, goddamn it).

Garbage pickup out here is “privatized,” so I had a few options as far as what company to go with. One was Feher, which is pronounced “fair,” and I was looking for a company that aspired to something a bit better than that. Then there was “Superior Trash,” but that seemed kind of pretentious (I mean, if you think your trash is superior, you probably think your shit don’t stink, too). So I settled on “Dependable Disposal.” That’s really all I’m looking for – somebody to dependably come along and dispose of my problems. And they provided me with a very nice 60 gallon garbage can on wheels (of course, I drive it out on the tractor, ‘cuz it’s an awfully long way to the curb – not that there’s actually a curb, of course). Sadly, on the very first week, they failed to show up (I wondered if maybe my garbage wasn’t good enough for them), which didn’t bode well. Since then, however, they’ve been quite dependable.

Birthday-wise, we seem to be in the sevens today, as Little Ronnie Howard (who clearly remembers the 60’s, I’m sure) turns 57 today, and Roger Daltry (who may or may not remember the 60’s – if Keith Moon was still around today, he most likely wouldn’t, but, then again, if he was still around, maybe he would) is 10 years older at 67. And teen heartthrob Justin Bieber (who absitively, posolutely, doesn’t remember the 60’s) turns 17 today.

Sorry to break the news to you, Justin, but it’s all downhill from here. On the bright side, at least you’re Canadian, so you’ll have healthcare.

I actually had no idea the Academy Awards were gonna happen last night, until I was working down in my shop with NPR on the radio. They were saying that the King’s speech would be getting a lot of attention, and I thought maybe Elvis was coming out of his fake-death retirement to accept a lifetime achievement award or something. But apparently that was actually a movie. Then some rather typical NPR critic spoke about Oscar music, and was all agog over some “courageous composer who combined an oboe with a penny whistle.” Oh, such audacity. Christ, between guys like this, John Powers, David Edelstein and, most especially, Maureen Corrigan, sometimes I really understand why the teabaggers hate NPR so much.

Anyhow, I didn’t watch the ceremonies but that isn’t sheltering me from finding out who won – whether I want to know or not. Whereas I’m just plain unwilling to shell out the bucks to see a movie before it hits HBO (which I may have to drop pretty soon, too, but how can I give up Bill Maher, and, goddamn it, “Curb” is coming back in the spring and then it’ll be time for True Blood, and…), I frankly don’t give a crap about the Oscars, except I’m glad that Melissa Leo won, because I’ve always liked her, from way back in the Homicide days. Plus, she said “fuck,” so she’s clearly my kinda broad. And, she’s an old-timer (like fine wine and Richard Belzer, she only gets better with age) – like me, another great product of 1960.

Otherwise, it was a tough weekend for me. I’ve diagnosed myself with medial epicondylitis, aka, “golfer’s elbow.” No, I haven’t been playing golf, but it apparently is pretty common amongst those of us who use keyboards for a living (especially if we become weekend DIY warriors swinging had tools and twisting wrenches).

Despite my left arm being all but useless over the weekend, I managed to complete my homemade keyboard tray (made form scrap wood – it’s adjustable, slides in and out, and is kinda cool, if I do say so myself), get Cat 5 cable run to my office, stain an nail in the trim, and get things pretty much completed, except for painting the underneath and maybe mounting the plethora of power strips up out of sight). And I need to build some wall cabinets and/or shelves. And then…. Well, it never really ends, does it?

Also, my gut hurt all weekend. Possibly because I didn’t eat much more than almonds and was hitting the ibuprofen pretty hard, both for the arm and because my teeth hurt. And then my goddamn temporary crown (which is actually my old crown, slammed back on) fell off. So that hurt even more, though I managed to stick it back on.

So, to recap, all weekend I was cold and everything hurt. Pretty much sucked. Had SU lost to GT in hoops or avenged last year’s loss to Army (barely) in lax yesterday, it would have been even worse.

Oh, and, as I mentioned yesterday, I finally updated WP. Once I saw that it was named “Rheinhardt” for Django Rheinhardt, who was perhaps the world’s greatest gypsy guitarist (long, long before Jimi Hendrix’s Band of Gypsies), and who died of a brain hemorrhage long ago at a very young age (probably because he never seemed to take that cigarette out of his mouth). On the bright side, Stephane Grapelli is still with us.

Speaking of dead guys, Frank Buckles – the last surviving US WWI veteran died yesterday. Only 110. So sad.

Well, it’s already warm out, and supposed to get warmer still. That would be great, except, in looking at the radar, a hard rain’s a gonna fall (OK, actually it’s already falling).