Today’s the day we pay tribute to the Martian King. Oh, wait – that can’t be right. Damn lysdexia. I guess that’s Martin Luther King. It’s not actually MLK’s birthday, of course (that was was Saturday, when he’d have turned 82, and my dad would have turned 91), but they were kind enough to make it a Monday holiday (even in AZ, which – surprise, surprise – resisted for quite a while, with citizens finally voting to make it a holiday in 1992, mostly so they could get the Super Bowl there). I don’t know if you’re off today, but I am. And it’s a good day to be off, since it’s -1° here (and the coldest part of the day doesn’t usually come for another hour or two).

It appears that we won’t be getting any new snow today (for a change), at least. I can’t begin to estimate what we’ve had at my house (the snow piles by my driveway are, oh, I’d guess at least eight feet high – maybe more), but, in Syracuse (whose snowfall pales in comparison to what we get out this way), they’ve officially gone over the 100 inch mark, hitting 103.5″ for the season as of yesterday. That’s about 50″ above average for this time of year, and if it continues at this rate (which of course it won’t), we’ll wind up with something like 235″ for the season, which would be a new record (by more than 3 feet).

I guess now that I’ve lapsed into weather, I might as well go ahead and talk sports. Or should I just say, JETS? If you hate (or are at least really sick and tired of) the New England Patriots, Bill Belichick, and, in particular, Tom Brady, you are neither alone nor disappointed this morning as the Jets went to Foxboro and kicked ass (and managed not to screw it up in the end, which would have been very Jets-like).

Oh, I know, lots of people out there don’t like the Jets because their coach – Rex Ryan – is a big fat loudmouth Irishman. But, hey, that’s exactly what I like best (I admit, I don’t get the whole foot thing, but, hey, to each his own, and besides, it’s not like Rex can see his own feet).

Speaking of sports, 50 years ago today the NBA All-Star game was held here in Syracuse. The East team included Dolph Schayes, Tommy Heinsohn, Wilt Chamberlain, Bob Cousy, and Bill Russelland was coached by Red Auerbach. Suiting up for the West were Elgin Baylor, Bob Pettit, Oscar Robertson, Gene Shue, and Jerry West, among others. They were coached by Paul Seymour. Was there any scoring done back in the NBA’s olden days? Well, in the end, the West beat the East, 153-131.

Looks like Republicans and Democrats will sit with each other for the SOTU address. Well isn’t that nice? They should hand out baseball bats, too. That’d make things more interesting when somebody gets the urge to shout out “YOU LIE!”

It may not be MLK’s birthday today, but guess what? It is Betty White’s (not to mention Michelle Obama, Jim Carey, Andy Kaufman, Muhammad Ali, Al Capone, Kid Rock, James Earl Jones, and Ben Franklin, among others). Number 89 for Ms White (but, hey, who’s counting?). Happy Birthday, Betty.

Good news, bad news today. Big Love starts back up tonight but, sadly, it’s the beginning of the end of the series. Oh, I suppose that’s really just as well, since, when last we saw the Henricksons, things weren’t looking too good, and I don’t know where they can really go from here on out. Plus last season was Amanda Seyfried’s final one, so this year will be a letdown in that respect. A darn shame on all accounts.

Hopefully HBO will be coming up with some series to justify the expense of keeping them. When do True Blood and Curb Your Enthusiasm start back up again, anyway?

In other news, Oklahoma has a new Governor – a woman who has sworn to “support, obey and offend” the U.S. and state constitutions. That sounds about right.

Chris Matthews apparently called birthers, “crackers.” Being a cracker myself, am I supposed to be offended? And, if so, is it the term “cracker” that’s supposed to piss me off? ‘Cuz, frankly, as a white guy of rather mixed descent, it’s pretty hard to offend me. In fact, I don’t think there are any names that can do it. Cracker? Mick? Kraut? Nah, just no kick to those, and white guys who pretend to be offended just seem silly to me. Much like the supposedly offended white people who wrote into NPR the other day because a commenter had expressed relief that the Arizona shooter had been a “gringo.” Oh, how horrible.

Or am I just supposed to be mad because Matthews (whose photo might very well be in the dictionary next to the definition of “cracker”) lumped me in with these idiots? Because, let’s face it, as a white man, I get lumped in with far worse than that on a daily basis. Yes, yes. Me, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, and Rush Limbaugh. The persecuted and downtrodden majority.

Well, surprisingly enough, after snowing all day yesterday, it’s snowing out there again today. But, at 23, at least it’s about 20 degrees warmer than it was yesterday morning.

Good news. Turns out we use the Tropical Zodiac here in the Western world. Which I guess means we can all go back to being whatever astrological signs we were two days ago. That’s good, I guess. My weekely horoscope says that, family-wise, “lots of ‘back and forth’ discussion may be required to ‘work something out’ especially with/between Aries, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Cancer, Taurus or other Scorpio members.” The only persona applicable there is my sister, and the only thing she’s trying to get me to do is adopt a dog from the Rescue. As for my “partner” forecast, they say I “may be handed a ‘great many things to do’ and very little to do them with [and]… [w]hat is ‘fair’ may not enter into it….” Gee there’s a bold prediction. Oh, and it claims my “state of mind” is “anxious but pumped.” Hmm. I’m just not getting that. Anxious? Eh, not that I’ve noticed. Pumped? That’s gonna take a few more cups of coffee.

It’s the end of the week, and what better way to begin the end than with a trip to the dentist? I can hardly wait. We’ve made it all the way around the top of my mouth so far, and are about two teeth into the return trip back across the bottom, and to “the other side.” I’d just as soon not think about how much this has cost me so far, but I suppose it’s all worth it, as it’s part of my â…” life crisis attempt to turn over a new leaf, get my shit together, and try to be as physically sound as possible for my remaining quarter century or whatever it is I have left. As my mom used to say, make sure you leave a good-looking corpse. Still, this replacing all my ancient fillings (no tooth has gone untouched) is becoming quite tedious. And knowing it’s my own damn fault doesn’t make things any easier – especially since I’m no longer limber enough to kick myself in the ass w/o pulling about 32 muscles.

So, did you hear? They’ve changed the dates for the signs of the Zodiac – and even added a sign. Our lo-cal news is sourcing this as coming from “scientists in Minnesota,” which kind of conjures up thoughts of the Mayo clinic or something, but “they” turns out to be a guy by the name of Parke Kunkle, who is identified as an “astronomer.” So I don’t know if this is an official proclamation or not. Smelling something fishy about his name (and not Pisces, either), I looked this guy up, and it appears that he’s listed as a faculty member in the Physics Department of the Minneapolis Community and Technical College.

Far be it for me to stick my nose up at a 2-yr school (or a guy who got his undergrad degree at Muhlenberg College – I think Muhlenberg offered to let me in when I was in 11th grade, and said I could finish up high school and start working on my degree right away – an offer I stupidly rejected, which led to a 26 year journey in pursuit of higher education – with much emphasis on the higher part, at least for the first decade or two; to think, I could have been teaching at MCTC all these years), but I’m not sure he’s qualified to go around mucking with Astrology (for one thing, he’s liable to set off the goddamn Zodiac Killer – he or she was never caught, you know – who might this very moment now be contemplating another murderous spree, though he might need to use a walker or a wheelchair and a handicap van to go on a rampage these days).

Anyhow, if you believe this so-called Kunkle, I’m not really a Scorpio, but am instead a Libra. And here people have been telling me all my life how much of a Scorpio I am. I don’t know much about Libras, but I suspect that as a sign it pales in comparison to Scorpio. I mean, let’s face it all other signs pale in comparison to Scorpio. Sorry, but we rule. Or are a royal pains in the ass. There’s a fine line there.

Although, now that I look at Libran traits, it appears I fit the bill there pretty well, too. It’s almost like, no matter what sign you pick, there’s enough there to fit nearly anybody – and that’s without even figuring in Uranus rising or anything.

Speaking of which, it’s cold out again today, so I’d advise you to keep Uranus down – which is always good advice, I guess. Especially if you’re a Democrat in Tucson.

OK, now let’s get this day over with already.

Alright, what’ll it be today? Weather? Sports? Lazy media and hypocritical Teabaggers? Sarah Palin?

Let’s see, as for weather – snow. When I went out yesterday morning, we had, oh, I’d guess about 4 or 5 inches of fresh snow. So I figured I’d better plow (in my flannel robe – hanging out below my jacket – and Elmer Fudd hat, I was looking pretty dapper, if I do say so myself – not unlike Randy Quaid in Independence Day, without the cigar, which would really complete the look, I think, so I may have to take them up, at least while on the tractor).

Of course, there was another 5 or 6 inches when I got home, so I had to plow again (I have some pretty impressive piles of snow around here – higher than the front end loader can reach at this point, and it was all gone just a couple weeks ago), and I reckon there are yet another few inches out there waiting for me this morning.

I was able to get things cleared out just before 7:00 last night , which was key because (watch out, here comes sports) that’s when the Syracuse-St. John’s basketball game started from Madison Square Garden, which, despite being 5 hours or so away from here, and despite it being the Red Storm’s (a rather crappy name – they were formerly the Red Men, but that was just a wee bit racist, so they changed it) home court is considered (by the national media) to be a home game for Syracuse. In fact, they’ve recently expanded the area considered to be our “home” turf to include all of New York and New Jersey.

Geographically speaking, you may as well throw in Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Massachusetts, and the District of Columbia. In fact, SU fans take over the Verizon Center so completely whenever we play there, that Georgetown has concocted a scheme to try and keep Syracuse fans from buying tickets. Silly Hoyas. I guess they’ve never heard of StubHub.

Anyhow, in case you were wondering (and you know you were – admit it), after a typically abysmal start, SU stomped all over SJU, plowing through them like a Kubota through a foot of Lake Effect Snow (see, ‘cuz they were wearing their Orange away uniforms and St. John’s had their home white, so…oh, never mind) to go 17-0 on the season, and win its 1,800th game (fifth on the all-time wins list). I mention this mostly because it won’t continue indefinitely, and I figure I ought to get it out there just in case they lose to Cincinnati at home on Saturday – which you can be certain I won’t mention if it happens).

Of course, with Duke dropping their first game of the season last night, should SU pick up win number 1,801, they may move up a notch to #3 in the polls. Though that’s not a given. Duke is one of those teams that could lose a game and move up in the polls (except they’re already #1), and the pollsters love to crap all over Syracuse (because no matter where they play, it’s a home game, and because there are so many SU alums in sportscasting that they either bend over backwards to be “fair” or are despised by their colleagues, who know they’re nowhere near as good).

OK, back to weather. Newsflash: NYC plowed their streets after a snowstorm (assuming you can count what they got yesterday as a “storm”). Mayor Bloomie can hardly contain the pride he feels for himself.

Let’s see, Arizona. President Obama went there yesterday and spoke at a memorial service, telling everybody not to assign blame and use this tragedy as a teaching event or something. You have to wonder why the Republicans and Teabaggers hate him so much – he always seems to be there looking out for them, and making sure their point of view is represented and they get their way in pretty much everything. If he had an ‘R’ next to his name and bleached his skin tone down a notch or two, he’d be the second coming of Ronald Reagan.

Oh, I know, I know. He can’t come out and denounce the rightwing haters and the lazy urinalism that reports false equivalency between a concerted effort in the konservative echo chamber and Republican establishment to demonize Democrats and liberals, and a random commenter or two on some blog somewhere (I’m only hurt that they’ve never taken anything I’ve had to say and used it). He can’t do that, any more than he could fight for single payer health care, Net Neutrality, Wall St. reform, or, well, pretty much anything.

Of course, in all of this, it’s really Sarah Palin you have to feel bad for. She’s such a victim – people are being meanies to her, and there are even death threats against her (so she says – and I for one would never doubt her). Poor Sarah. I wonder if all those dead and wounded people in Tucson ever even gave her a thought when they went out and got themselves shot?

Does it strike you as odd that, had this nutcase been a Marilyn Manson fan or something, the Konservatives would be falling all over each other to denounce this dirty, dirty, rock and roll, and playing his music backwards claiming it says, “kill gabby, kill gabby” (to be honest, I can’t even understand what the f*ck he’s saying when it’s played forward), and preaching personal responsibility and the consequences of one’s actions? I mean, wasn’t it one of their heroes who said, “there ought to be limits to free speech?”

Anyhow, let’s get back to weather. The forecast for the next few days appears to be snow, windy, and cold, really f*cking cold and snow, really cold overnight, and then not quite as cold (and snow), and cold and snow.

On the bright side, both Bill Maher and Big Love start up again. I’ll be interested to see what Bill has to say, and what the world needs now is Love, Big Love.

Okay, everybody snap your fingers and sing along….

More snow today. Not so much here (your basic two or three inches last night, and another five or so today – enough to put Atlanta in a tizzy, yet barely enough for us to notice), but quite a but apparently in store for the big boys, including NYC, which must be starting to feel persecuted. Of course, Mayor Bloomie is on the job, and New York has hired back all the experienced workers they got rid rid of due to budget concerns put GPS systems and real time video cameras in their plows so the City’s upper mucky-mucks can electronically monitor the progress of the plows while staying warm, dry, and very serious-looking for the news cameras while drinking coffee in their offices. My unsolicited advice? Never mind the gizmos – get more plows and people to drive them. Boots on the ground, you know?

Speaking of boots, I think I may have some permanent foot damage, frost bite (or frost nip) or something. Either the circulation to my extremities sucks because I’ve frozen my feet a few times too many, or I’ve just got crappy circulation, causing my feet to freeze on a regular basis. Maybe I’ve become diabetic, or have developed Reynaud’s disease? Or maybe even Scleroderma (that’s one you really don’t want; not a pleasant fate).

So, the prez heads to – as Fred used to say – Aridzona today to express his sadness in that stilted, wooden, way he has. For somebody who got his start being recognized as a great speaker, he doesn’t impress me most of the time these days. Maybe I’m just too familiar with his schtick. I once read somewhere that we ought to have two presidents – one for doing shit, and one as kind of an ombudsman. I nominate Bill Clinton as ombudsman emeritus. No matter how onto him I ever got, he could still kick ass from the podium. Then again, we don’t know who was under there motivating him.

Oh well, do the best you can, Mr. Obama, and keep your head down while you’re out there.

Today is the dreaded Wednesday morning meeting. It’s uncomfortable, unproductive, and un-, um, un-good. While I do not want to go to work today, I even more don’t want to go to this meeting. I need to find another way to make a living.

Until then, though, I guess I better go see if there’s enough snow to plow the driveway or not.

President Obama plans on traveling to and speaking at a memorial service in Tuscon tomorrow. Does that seem like a good idea? I mean, I know there’s the Secret Service and all that, but still. As long as Joe from Tempe is still on the loose, I think I’d stay away from Arizona – especially if I was black, Mexican, or a mythical liberal. Of course, I don’t like the heat, so I’d stay away from there anyway. Unless it would get me out of going back to work today.

Down there in Atlanta, though, I reckon they wouldn’t mind some of the Arizona desert weather. It’s difficult not to chuckle when I read something like this

Heavy snow is expected to begin falling in the Atlanta area tonight, possibly reaching three to five inches….

But of course they just don’t have the equipment or expertise to deal with snow and ice down there. For one thing, it takes money – in the form of tax dollars. And we know how much people hate taxes.

Here, after getting, oh, I dunno, maybe five inches or so through noon yesterday, the snow stopped, and I was able to scrape the driveway down. More snow this afternoon, though, and it’s supposed to snow all week long. Nothing major. A few inches here, a few inches there. More where I live, I’m sure. If things stay true to form, it should be kind of shitty tonight, because it’s garbage night. And the weather always sucks on garbage night.

I was glad to see that the Philadelphia Eagles lost – at home, which is even better – the the Green Bay Packers yesterday. Not that I especially give a crap about the Packers, but I’ve long thought the Eagles and their fans suck for the the way they treated Donovan McNabb while he was there, and, sorry, just can’t get behind the redemption of Michael Vick. A piece of shit is a piece of shit, and I can only assume that, since Vick threw a game-ending interception, he just doesn’t have what it takes to be in the game and will need to be dealt with in the same way that Vick felt it necessary to deal with “under-performing” dogs. Sorry, but that’s just how I feel. So I’m not really down with Charles Barkley defending Vick, but I can only agree with Sir Charles’ assessment of Tucker Carlson.

“Tucker Carlson, who’s a nobody. He used to work for us over here. We fired him because he sucked….”

Ayup.

Predictably, Arizona Konservatives – such as their non-mavericky but equally crazy Jon Kyl – and their minions at Fux News and talk radio – such as Megan Kelly – are jumping all over Sheriff Clarence Dupnik for stating the obvious.

“The anger, the hatred, the bigotry that goes on in this country is getting to be outrageous. And unfortunately, Arizona I think has become sort of the capital. We have become the mecca for prejudice and bigotry.”

I feel a great deal of pity for people like Dupnik, KP, Kevin, Okat, and others who aren’t assholes but live in places like AZ, TX, OK, FL, etc. But they aren’t enough to keep me from wishing we could just cut them loose and let them have the crappy country of their own that they so deeply desire and deserve. Not that things are perfect here, that’s for sure. We managed to elect (barely) a teabagger to Congress, and reading the online comments on the local newspaper website both outrages and embarrasses me. And of course we’re afflicted by the same vile AM talk radio creatures that permeate the airwaves everywhere else.

So, maybe things aren’t really any better here. But I think there’s something about 4 or 5 months of cold weather that keeps the crazy in check a little bit better. All that heat just can’t be good for the brain.

Oh well, lots to do today. I took the day off, so hopefully I can get a few things done.

Have a good one.

I think it should be pretty clear today to even the most spineless of liberals that there just aren’t enough guns in Arizona. Had everyone been armed at that Safeway yesterday, the shooter would have been either sufficiently deterred in the first place, or have been taken out after only capping a half dozen people (give or take – depending on the secondary casualties and collateral damage). So, I propose that all the grocery stores (but not Whole Foods – we don’t wanna arm the goddamn liberals) and Wal-Marts have handguns affixed to every shopping cart (I’m thinking with a chain or aviation cable or something; it would make those early morning ‘Black Friday’ sales a lot more interesting, for one thing).

The cart wranglers would be charged with checking and reloading the weapons when they bring them back inside, and, in the case of a mass shooting like yesterday (whether somebody wants to keep the government from sticking their mitts into your Medicare, or there’s just a dispute over a parking spot), shoppers need only circle the carts around themselves wagon train style, and start taking people out (my suggestion would be to try and park your SUV as close to the cart return as possible – and look for a full one. Oh, and make sure you have a Jesus Fish on the back, so we all know not to shoot it; it’s kinda like automotive lamb’s blood).

I fully expect Maverick McCain to announce that he’ll be introducing federal legislation to this effect tomorrow.

I also expect McCain, Limbaugh, O’Reily, Hannity, Palin, Bachmann and others of their ilk (and by “ilk” I of course mean god-fearing Kristian Americans) to exploit this situation for their own political purposes by making speeches denouncing anyone who would exploit this situation for their own political purposes, while expressing shock – shock, I say – at the fact that anyone would take their suggestions that there be a “second amendment solution” to the scourge of liberalism threatening this nation’s very existence literally. Which is too bad.

Really, they ought to be proud of the fact that they control the crazy people, and can manipulate them into going on shooting sprees or mailing exploding packages or whatever. Oh, sure, it’s sad that a 9-yr old kid born on that most glorious of high holy days – 9/11, aka “Giuliani Day” – had to die, but I reckon it’s worth the price of an activist judge and a Democratic congresscritter who – get this – voted for death panels and the destruction of the best damn health care system in the world. I mean, you wanna make a great mayonnaise, you gotta break a few eggs, right?

These people (the ones who are actually willing to go beyond sitting in their La-Z-Boys® drinking beer and yelling at the teevee and take up arms) may be the fringe of the fringe, but they’re the crazy fringe, and they’re angry, armed, and ready for action. As soon as somebody tells them who it is they’re angry at, and what sort of action they need to take.

No need to be obvious about it, of course. Just call somebody a baby killer that needs to be stopped, put gun sights on a map, suggest a 2nd amendment solution, or have a “Shoot a Fully Automatic M16″ to “Get on Target” and “Remove Gabrielle Giffords” event.

You know, be subtle.

No point in letting those folks in Afghanistan have all the fun.

Back when I was a little kid, I think I read The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, oh, I dunno, maybe 10,000 times each. Of course, they were still new back then. The thought of Tom and Becky (I still have the hots for Becky Thatcher :hubba:. I bet Huck was doing her behind Tom’s back) being lost in that cave still sends shivers down my spine. And when Injun Joe threw that knife at Tom when he was on the witness stand and then crashed out the window? Oh, awesome, man (the people responsible for turning these books into a freakin’ musical with that prissy kid from Family Affair should be shot – though I’d be willing to grant a pardon to whoever cast Jodie Foster as Becky). Except, guess what? It aint gonna be “Injun” Joe anymore.

That’s right, in an effort to appease those crusading, professionally offended do-gooders out there who apparently have nothing better to do than ban books from schools because your kids can’t handle the content, damnit, the John F. Blair publishing company (whose rich history dates all the way back to 1954 – fun fact: the first book they published was written by John Henry Boner) has seen fit to publish a new edition combining these two classics, retroactively censoring Mark Twain in favor of more politically correct language (I’d make a white-washing the fence analogy, but it would be too obvious). Oh, it’s OK to have Joe be a homicidal maniac – you just can’t refer to him in an insensitive manner.

Thus, “half-breed” becomes “half-blood” (what, that’s better? I guess if it’s good enough for Harry Potter, right?), Injun Joe becomes Indian Joe, and Huck’s friend Jim (referred to by the name that white people can’t use in public any more) becomes, “the slave Jim” (I’m surprised they didn’t make it “native American Joe” and “African-American Jim”).

I can’t wait to read Blair’s upcoming “History of the Civil Rights Movement,” where the kindly white folks meet their black friends in Selma and let them play with their puppies while offering them cool drinks of water from high pressure hoses to slake their thirst, or perhaps a new tome about the Civil War, detailing the South’s fight to preserve “State’s rights” against the aggressors from the North.

I also eagerly anticipate the remake of Blazing Saddles

“Good day, ma’am.”

“Up yours, nice looking young African American man.”

I’m sorry, but things were the way they were, and people did what they did and spoke the way they spoke, and while it might be shocking or embarrassing or inconvenient to remember the way it was, it’s important to do so. We don’t want to amend every piece of literature in existence until all that’s left are West Virginia history books and officially sanctioned Texas Board of Education versions of how the world is 4,000 years old and fossils are a practical joke left by God to test our faith, do we?

I mean, you might as well make a big show of reading the US Constitution on the floor of the House of Representatives and leaving out the inconvenient part where our glorious founding fathers allow slavery, oppress women, and consider black people worth about 60% of a “real” human being.

But only a bunch of assholes would do that.