Yesterday was a pretty nasty day around these parts. Cold, rain, sleet, snow, and wind. Lots and lots of wind. Didn’t get a whole lot accomplished, but I at least managed to go to the Tractor Supply store and use my 15% off coupon for a back blade and carry-all for my 3-point hitch. More money gone. I feel like a cashophiliac – hemorrhaging cash at an alarming rate. Oh well. I’m actually looking forward to getting out there and plowing the driveway (though I better dig out my insulated coveralls and my Elmer Fudd hat).

Fortunately, today is supposed to be a bit nicer (and a little warmer), and we’ve scaled back our fence plans a bit, so that we can have an area for the dogs to run around and stay out of trouble while we work on fencing in the rest of the place.

Speaking of work, I guess I better get my Home Depot list together and get crackin’.

Well, finally, I own my “new” home (for as long as I continue to make payments to the bank, pay the taxes, and keep my homeowners insurance in force). Floyd the Kubota has left his temporary home at my sister’s place, and is now settled in where he’ll hopefully have many happy years of service (in fact, Floyd spent the night where none of our other vehicles have spent any time in the past year or so – in a garage). There is much work to do before we can even begin to think about moving in over there, but at least phase one is complete. Naturally, now that there’s work to do, it’s turned pretty damn cold (with a few snow fluffies in the air, even). Fortunately, things are supposed to warm up a bit over the weekend and next week. I’ve gotta get the fence put up so I can take the dogs out there with me. Oh well, time to get my shit together and head out.

In news from the “About F*cking Time” file, NPR has finally shitcanned Juan “Fux News House Negro” Williams for commiserating with Bill O’Reilly and telling him, “gee, Bill, I’m no racist, but when I see motherf*ckin’ Muslims on the motherf*ckin’ plane, it gives me the willies, too.”

“…when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous.”

Really? Then you’re a f*cking idiot, Juan, because when they send the Mooslam terrorists off to Jet Blue, do you really think they’re gonna send them out dressed like the freakin’ Taliban?

I wonder if black folks creep Juan out, too?

“Uh, I’m no racist, Bill, but when I go to a restaurant in Harlem, I expect to hear people hollar ‘hey, MF’er, how ’bout a refill on the MF’in’ iced tea?‘, too.”

I first realized Juan was a schmuck years ago, when he flipped out at a guest’s assertion that, yes, his (the guest’s) dogs were more important to him (the guest) than Juan’s children. Yes, Juan, it’s true. My dogs are more important to me than your kids are, too.

No offense to your kids – I’m sure they’re very nice little non-Muslim burdens on society, sucking up my tax dollars by going to public school (oh, wait, I’m sure your gig on Fux News allows you to pay for private school, where they won’t be exposed to dirty Muslims), but I don’t know them, and my dogs are not only my kids, but my friends, too (though one or both of them – the dogs, not your kids as far as I know – are really fartin’ up a storm at the moment, bad enough to make my eyes water).

Hell, I’ll even take my cats over your kids. But don’t worry, I understand if you feel differently.

In other news, first, there was Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (well, actually I guess first there was “get outta here, faggot!”), then there was Don’t, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. And now, thanks to the Obama Administration and the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, we have, Don’t, Don’t, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

A federal appeals court on Wednesday temporarily granted the U.S. government’s request for a freeze on a judge’s order requiring the military to allow openly gay troops.

Really? Isn’t about time this bullshit stopped already? Not to be a tea partier or anything, but how much time and tax money are we wasting on preserving this clearly unconstitutional (and stupid) policy that everybody who isn’t a homophobic closeted gay hypocrite knows is BS and needs to done away with, already? I wonder what Carl Paladino’s stance on this is (whatever it is, I bet it’s a wide one).

Today is, supposedly, my closing day. I did a walkthrough of the place yesterday after work, but the lawyer was supposed to confirm the time with me last night (not to mention tell me who I need to make checks out to – or should that be ‘to whom I need to make the checks out’ – and for how much money), and, of course, I didn’t hear a word. WTF? Is it that difficult to keep me in the loop on this shit? I mean, I am the guest of honor, here, and if everybody wants their piece of the action, they really need to let me know what’s going on. I don’t expect them to kiss my ass, but, shit, just let me know what I gotta do.

I mean, I’m asking, so freakin’ tell already!

The fairly decent weather continues today, but is supposed to take a turn for the worse tomorrow evening. That can only mean one thing: we finally have a closing date, and it’s scheduled for late in the day Thursday. It’s like they consulted the weather forecast and said, “okay, we can let this asshole close now that the weather’s turning to shit.” Oh well, it’s better than continuing to sit in limbo, and I’m anxious to get this part over with and get this party started. I’m trying not to think about the actual moving part just yet, because it seems like an impossible feat.

I know people do it all the time, but I haven’t had to do this in an awfully long time. Longer than I can really remember, frankly – about 13 years ago, I think. That was pretty much piecemeal – a few things at a time – and, looking around, I seem to have accumulated an awful lot of shit (including about a ton and a half of wood pellets) over the past baker’s dozen years (my attic is still full of shit from my parents house, most of which, I’m afraid, will just have to go into the dumpster).

But what really sucks is that I didn’t get to miss my meeting today. I mean, how often do you get an excuse like having to close on a house? And I got screwed out of it.

Oh well, a day late, but I guess I’d better not be a dollar short, so it’s off to work today. Thursday, however, the countdown can begin. Just 14 years to go (15, if I don’t set up biweekly payments), and I can retire. Assuming I don’t go broke first.

With, what, two weeks ’til Election Day, the political ads are on in full force. I may very well need to replace the mute button on my remote control before this is all over. I can’t even stand to listen to the commercials for the people I’m actually planning to vote for, let alone these other a-holes. Last night, as Sue mentioned, was the one and only Gubernatorial debate here in NY. I didn’t watch any of it, but have seen a few clips this morning, and there were some pretty funny moments. The guy running on the “The Rent is Too Damn High” line – Vietnam Vet Jimmy McMillan – is just too damn funny (by the way, Bill Hammond of the NY Daily News really needs to pull the stick out of his ass). Nattily attired and interestingly coiffed (very nifty beard and mustache, this fella sports), he wore black leather gloves throughout (to protect against Agent Orange attacks, of course). The ex-madam who hooked Eliot Spitzer up with his high-priced hookers – Kristin Davis (yes, she’s running for Guv) – said that businesses are leaving NY State faster than Carl Paladino at a gay bar, some other nerdy guy whose name I don’t recall said he’s not a typical politician, ‘cuz he’s never been caught with a prostitute, his father wasn’t Governor, and he’s never been convicted of a crime (which wasn’t actually all that funny, but he was trying, so I give him an ‘A’ for effort).

Carl Paladino wasn’t especially funny either (Carl was on his best behavior and used his inside voice while saying “I’m not angry – I’m passionate”) – he was actually kind of pathetic looking. Short fat guys in suits just look silly when they’re sitting up on a stage, their little legs dangling down, not touching the floor, crossing and un-crossing. It’s very hard to look manly like that.

Of course, the one guy who stood out as the most intelligent candidate with some real, thought-out plans was Howie Hawkins, the Green Party candidate. He hasn’t got a prayer, but hopefully he’ll get enough votes to keep the Greens on the ballot (he needs 50,000 votes for them to be counted as an official political party in NY). You’ve probably not heard much about him, but, since he’s local to me (and this is his 18th run for one office or another), he’s pretty well known in these parts. He’ll be getting my vote, for whatever that’s worth. I know he’d rather have some money (he’s collected less than $25 grand, which is nothing), but my austerity budget doesn’t have room for political contributions at this point in time.

So, if you live in NY (and we know who you are!), consider voting for Howie. Cuomo will win easily anyway (hopefully he won’t then cut my pay and/or lay me off, since he says we dastardly Public Employees need to suffer), but then you can say (as I will), “don’t blame me, I voted for Howie.”

Oh, and shame, shame, shame on the Working Families Party for endorsing Cuomo.

In local news last night, somebody perpetrated an armed robbery on an apple orchard (or more precisely, at the apple store – and, no, not a place that sells overpriced and over-hyped electronics, but a place that actually sells apples, apple pies, apple bread, apple cider, apple juice, and, no doubt, apple plushies).

The perp (or un-sub, depending on which teevee cop show euphemism you prefer) apparently had a getaway car stashed out in the orchard, wore a mask (probably not so much as a disguise, but because it was pretty frickin’ cold last night), and is described as a white male (well, duh; aint a whole lot of black folks out in apple country – except maybe at harvest time, but then they’re mostly Mexicans – and I reckon those that are in the vicinity, are under pretty tight surveillance).

This is just plain lazy. I mean, an apple orchard? Seriously? Syracuse aint exactly NY City, but the apple orchards are out in the middle of nowhere – even by our standards. You had a friggin’ car, buddy – drive to a liquor store in Wampsville or something. Maybe he needed the apple money to buy gas to drive into a slight less rural area for the “big” score. The least he could have done was rob the place that sells apple vodka.

The weather gets colder and colder, yet there is still no closing date in sight for us. Apparently, a past mortgage wasn’t properly stamped or signed or registered or whatever it is that needs to be done, so the seller’s attorney needs to do whatever it that lawyers need to do to clear the title. Meanwhile, we wait and watch the leaves fall off the trees.

For you lawyer types out there (and we know who you are!), if this all falls through, do I have an option to get back the money I’ve already shelled out in good faith (home inspection, appraisal, etc.)? Or would I need to sue somebody and spend more money on an attorney that I’d actually get back? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Well, at the very least, we’ll have just about everything we own (but never use) in boxes.

Oh well, on the odd chance that we actually will close some day, I guess I better get to work.

“Breaking” news this morning from CNN: according to some unnamed NATO dude, Osama bin Laden is alive and well and living in Pakistan (or maybe I should say, ‘Paki-Satan’). And not even in a cave, either. He’s in a house. Probably with high-speed Internet and satellite TV, too. And hear I thought he was making audio and video recordings and running his dialysis machine on batteries (some kickass batteries, too; they’ve lasted, like, nine years already). Or maybe he’s got an infidel-driven generator or something. So, my two-word (and not particularly well-formed) question is – October surprise? Does Obama have it in him to pull Osama out of his hat? Will bin Laden sacrifice himself so his brother Mooslam can stay in office and push his godless (oh, wait, he’s a secret Muslim, so I guess he can’t exactly be godless; it’s just the wrong god; I mean, god backwards, as we all know, is dog, but Allah backwards is halla, which is a kingdom in Goopy Gyne Bagha Byne). This, by the way, is why Mooslams hate dogs.

Big day at Home Depot yesterday, as they had all new carts (not wimpy shopping carts, but the lumber carts and flatbeds and whatnot). Probably not actually new, but reconditioned with all new wheels and orange paint jobs. These suckers damn near pushed themselves. It inspired me to purchase an extra sheet of Luann. Sadly, I managed to drop said piece of Luann from a not inconsiderable height onto my foot (and, of course, at a 90 degree angle; picture a 1/4″ wooden guillotine). Fear not, though, my big toe managed to take the full force of the hit (and or course I was wearing sneakers, not work boots, because, well, I’m not sure where any of my pairs of boots have gotten to at this point in time). As a result, my toe is an interesting shade of purple. And a bit on the sore side, which is good because it takes away from the pain of the other cuts and splinters I acquired over the weekend.

There’s much that happened in the sports world this weekend that we shall not speak of. However, we can at least be happy that the Jets managed to win – and now have the best record in the NFL at 5-1 (though the godless Patriots, led by Satan spawn and Justin Bieber wannabe Tom Brady, managed to pull out a win after sacrificing a virgin or chickens or something late in the 4th quarter; hey, say what you want about Brett Favre, but at least all he’s got is a picture of his naughty bits in his attic that ages instead of him). In other happy news, Dallas lost, bringing their record to 1-4, and cementing their lock on last place in the NFC East. Let’s hope they stay there.

I’d really hoped to be closing on the new house today. Not because I have a hankering to write a huge check and throw myself deeply into debt, but because I have a meeting this afternoon (at 3 o’clock, too; what idiot scheduled that, and I’d really hoped to be able to blow it off. Sadly, it appears that won’t happen. We have our biweekly Wednesday meeting this week. I hope I can at least miss that.

But, until then, I guess I have to go and face another Monday. That sucks.

OK, let’s see. On Press the Meat, it’s Robert Gibbs and the two people running for Senate in Colorado – Democrat Michael Bennet and Republican Ken Buck.

On Faze the Nation, Bob Schieffer has Howard Dean, li’l Lindsey Graham, the evil spawn of a heartless criminal, Liz Cheney, and William Galston, Deputy Assistant for Domestic Policy in the Clinton administration.

Fux News Sunday has Crazy John Cornyn, Claire McCaskill, and Carly Fiorina.

At the Goebbels Network, Christi Amanpour has would-be witch slayer Chris Coons of Delaware, plus Meghan McCain, Matthew Dowd, Nightline anchor Terry Moran and, of course, George :jerk: Will.

On CNN, Fareed Zakaria talks to MIT professor Peter Diamond. Also up, North Korea, Ayad Allawi, the former Prime Minister of Iraq, Al Qaeda’s new magazine, and was the rescue of the Chilean miners the solution to breaking a century-old dispute between two neighboring nations?

Beats me.

Have a good Sunday.

Yesterday, it rained. And rained. Then it rained some more. In fact, it’s still raining right now, though it’s supposed to stop this morning. I was hoping to hear about a closing date yesterday (on Thursday, they told me everything was in, and they were looking at Monday or Tuesday). But I didn’t hear anything yesterday at all, so I’m guessing Monday is out of the question. It would have been nice to at least hear something, but, well, I guess I’m not important enough for a courtesy call. Maybe if I was borrowing a few million dollars or something. Oh well.

Last night, a whole bunch of former SU basketball stars were on hand to see Jim Boeheim awarded the 2010 Sporting News coach of the year award at halftime of an NBA exhibition game between the Minnesota Timberwolves (who have three former SU players on their roster – at least until Jason Hart gets cut) and the Detroit Pistons. Former Piston (and current Detroit mayor) Dave Bing (Jim Boeheim’s college room and back court mate) tossed the ceremonial opening tip, and, hell, even Floyd Little was on hand. For those keeping score, the T-Wolves won 99-88.

Now, our thoughts turn to football, and there’s a big game here today (for we, the SU faithful – certainly not for anybody else), as the Pitt Panthers come to town. Pitt was picked by the coaches to win the Big East this year, but have had a bit of a shaky start, while we’ve actually had our best start since 1999 (albeit against less than stellar opposition).

So – on Homecoming Day no less – we have an opportunity to win two Big East games in a row (we haven’t won two Big East games period – let alone two in a row – since 2004; it pains me to think of how pitiful we’ve become, though it gives me a little bit of pleasure to see how crappy Michigan’s defense is these days with our former coach as DC). Of course, we also have an opportunity to play like shit and get killed. Personally, I don’t have good vibes about this game, but that could be just because I’ve become accustomed to great disappointment (in both life, and SU sports). But, we’ll see.

I thought Rabbi What’shisface was just kidding when he said Carl Paladino had turned gay, but I’ll be damned – it’s true!

Just days after Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino attacked his Democratic opponent Andrew Cuomo for attending a gay pride parade, his campaign sent out a campaign e-mail that that calls into question Cuomo’s own support for gay rights.

That’s right: Andy isn’t gay enough for Carl. I can’t wait to see Carl in his Speedos and pasties, marching down 5th Avenue next year (actually, that’s a sight I hope never to see).

Oh well, time to go and not get any work done at my new house because they don’t want me to close until there’s six feet of snow on the ground.

Finally, it’s Friday. That’s all I got.

When you first hear Carl Paladino, you might think he’s a divider, not a uniter. But when Carl apologized for his remarks the other day (I’m not sure whether he was apologizing for saying out loud what he believed, or for not believing what he said, but anyway) he did something that brought homophobes like Yehuda Levin and gay people a little bit closer. As for how Levin heard about Carl’s apology, Levin says

…they come running and they say, ‘Paladino became gay!’ I said, ‘What?’ And then they showed me the statement. I almost choked on the kosher salami.”

Don’t worry, Yehuda. I’m sure you’re not the first nice Jewish boy to choke on the old kosher salami, and you won’t be the last, either.

Still working on a closing date, here. Yesterday, they told me all they were waiting for was verification of my employment (this in spite of all the documentation I’d already sent them). They said they called and got voicemail, and the people on my end of the deal called them back and told them where to fax the form. But they didn’t need to fax the form, since they already had all that, they were just checking to see if maybe I quit or got fired in the past 30 days or so. So, I gave them the number to call. They said they couldn’t call that number, because they needed to call the “main” number and ask for an extension. Oy. OK, so call the “main” number and ask for the last 4 digits as an extension. No word on where things stand now, except I figure I’m the only one who’s not making money off this deal, so they can bite me.

Can’t they just close theur eyes and sign off like they do for everybody else?

Oh well, I guess I better get ready to go to work. If they decide to approve this mortgage, I’ll need to pay for it somehow.