On Press the Meat today, Gilligan Gregory and the gang talk health care, Wall Street, and women. On to throw out a few trial balloons sure to enrage liberals will be Senior White House Adviser Valerie Jarrett. Then it’s Countrywide Financial “VIP” Chris Dodd, and Arizona’s Jon “screw you” Kyl. Then the show will kick of NBC’s week-long series about women in America with a second segment including Valerie Jarrett, who chairs the White House Council on Women and Girls, Mrs Arnold, Maria Shriver, and former Clinton White House Chief of Staff and President of the Center for American Progress, John Podesta (who is not, actually, a woman).‬

Over at CBS, Faze the Nation has John Kerry, who says no new troops for Afghanistan until this whole election thing gets straightened out.

On Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace has DINO Kent Conrad, democrat if it’ll get him re-elected Arlen Specter, and John Thune, Chairman of the Republican Policy Committee Then, the White House called Fux News “a wing of the Republican Part,” so Fux has Karl Rove on to tell us how it aint so. Plus everybody’s least favorite Syracusan, Terry McAuliffe.

This Weak on the Goebbels network, George Snufalufagus has Ollie Hardy lookalike David Axelrod, plus a roundtable with George :jerk: Will, Piggy Peggy Noonan, EJ Dionne, Paul Krugman and Jake “the mens room” Tapper.

At CNN, Fareed Zakaria has a discussion with a panel of international economists, plus a conversation with Somanahalli Mallaiah Krishna, the Indian foreign minister, on what he thinks of the whole Pakistan/Afghanistan thing.

Of course, all of that pales in comparison to what’s really important tonight: the Simpson’s Treehouse of Horror XX. No, not double X rated, but can you believe it’s been twenty years now? That means that there are sophomores in college that have never lived a world without the Simpsons. Damn.

Have a good one.

The 49ers and The Orange are both off this weekend so I’ve got time on my hands and pj’s got nothing to talk about.

It was 20 years ago today at 5:04 PM that the Bay Area experienced the Loma Prieta Earthquake. It was one of those moments you never forget and you remember exactly where you were. I was fortunate enough to be at the third game of the MLB World Series between the San Francisco Giants and our neighbors across the Bay, the Oakland Athletics. We were sitting 8th row behind the plate in the upper deck of Candlestick Park. My friend and I were in front of the spillover seats from the 49ers owners DeBartolo family luxury box, sitting next to a Chronicle reporter and National League umpire Ed Montague and his son. We thought we must be in paradise. Another friend had been shooting photos all season for the Giants yearbook and was good for some great seats for all of the post-season. The Giants were down to the A’s 2 games to zip but everyone was hopeful that this game would be the turning point.

We arrived early to take it all in so we had already been in the park for several hours and had a few beverages even though we skipped tailgating so we wouldn’t miss anything inside. It was finally getting close to game time and the pregame ceremonies were shaping up for the TV broadcast on ABC which went on the air at 5. An air of excitement was beginning to rise in the finally almost full stadium. Things were really getting ready to happen. Since people had some portable TVs you could see the intro and then this.

There was a big bump kind of like a punch and then the whole place began to undulate more than shake. You could see and feel a big rolling coming through and you could hear a rumble. My friend John started to panic and headed for the aisle with an “I’m outta here” but I grabbed him and just said that at least we were on the top of everything so he stayed. I fixed my sights on what was behind and above us fearing a panic stampede but people mostly stayed put with bewildered expressions. Everyone knew what was happening, no one could quite believe it. I then started to watch the press box with its windows rippling in the afternoon sun. After the longest 15 seconds in my life it stopped and there was a long, quiet gasp. Then the entire stadium erupted in a long and loud cheer. It was a Giants omen. We’re still standing, let’s play ball. We stood in the stands like everything was fine and surely the festivities would resume shortly. However, it wasn’t long before the power failed. All of the television and radio stations were down and eventually one or two came back on the air and rumours began to circulate. Fires, freeway collapses, a bridge collapse but for a while we still thought the game must go on. All of the players and management and press were out on the field looking at the stands. Some of the players had brought their families and guests out of the stands and all of them had the same stunned looks as the rest of us as they milled around on the diamond. A few police cruisers pulled out on the field as some distant smoke rose high enough to be visible above the rim of the stadium. That was when everyone understood this was something completely different.

After a while, there was an announcement from the police loudspeakers that everyone should leave the stadium in an orderly fashion and about 50,000 people began to walk out solemnly. Leaving the stadium we could already see the evidence of the enormity of the day and the surreality to come as we went on our ways to find our families and friends and how everyone had fared.

Candlestick Park stood strong and many give credit to 49er fan, ex-mayor and the Dino everyone loves to hate, Dianne Feinstein who as mayor saw through a retrofit of the stadium that made damage minimal. Two weeks later we were out there again for the rest of the Series but it really did not matter much at that point (at least that’s what we said after the Giants were swept).

There was a lot of damage but it could have been much worse. A section of the upper deck of the Bay Bridge that had given the Series it’s nickname had collapsed and there was one fatality. A 1.25 mile section of the upper deck of two level Nimitz freeway fell on the bottom and 42 lives were lost. Had it not been the Bay Bridge Series at that particular rush hour time there would have been bumper to bumper traffic on both and unbelievable death. I am not sure how Falwell and Robertson have explained this ‘miracle’.

I won’t go on and on about what happened after that but I sure will be reliving it today.

Funny that while I was working on this post, I found this item which I swear I did not plagiarize.

There was some sort of kerfuffle out there in Colorado yesterday. I’m not real sure of the details, but it sounds like Cartman wanted to take Kyle’s father’s flying saucer balloon out to LA to see the premiere of the Michael Jackson concert movie, but he he was too fat, and it wouldn’t take off. So then he put Kyle’s brother Ike in it, and the balloon got loose and flew away. Kyle freaked out and called the cops, but it turned out that Ike had fallen out of the basket, so Cartman stuck him in a box and hid him in the attic. Or something like that. Oh, and then they killed Kenny. Whatever it was, it was a pretty big deal on CNN, that’s for sure (knocked Rush Limbaugh right out of the headlines).

Arianna Huffington went to the Mr Ed Show last night, and complained about all the attention the media was giving the balloon boy story. I think if Arianna wants to make a big statement, she ought to resign instead. Resign from what, I’m not sure, but going on the media to complain about the coverage of a bullshit story (essentially adding to the coverage of the bullshit story) doesn’t seem right. Maybe she and Joe Biden can go on tour or something.

Could it be that Harry Reid is a stealth progressive after all? According to some, he’s working behind the scenes to ensure a strong public option in Senate version of health care reform.

“Reid and/or his staff has been in practically hourly conversations with a whole set of progressive players re how best to make sure we position ourselves to get a strong public option coming out of conference committee,” said one progressive strategist, who asked not to be named. “He hasn’t made any final procedural decisions yet RE how to get that done, but he’s having really honest conversations [about] all his major options, pros and cons of each, etc. I’m actually pretty impressed, at least right now.”

Pardon me for being a little dubious, but, well, let’s just say I’ll believe it when I see it. More likely it’s a way for Harry to up campaign contributions from the insurance industry.

Well, time to get this week over with. A bit cold and frosty around here these past few days (even had some snow last night), so I need to get going a little early. Gotta scrape the frost off my UFO balloon.

Poor Rush Limbaugh. He’s got fame, fortune, and all the teenage Dominican prostitutes his Viagra prescription can handle, but they won’t let him have a piece of an NFL team – not even a crappy one. According to ESPN, the group putting together a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams says that “Limbaugh’s participation had become a complication in the group’s efforts and the bid will move forward without him.” Too bad; the Rams could’ve picked up Michael Vick next season, and been the class of the NFL. Of course, it’s the Rams cheerleaders I feel sorry for in all this. They’ll never get to experience the manly, musky smell of Rush and his big cigar.

I’ve read this story a couple of times now, but am still having a tough time wrapping my head around exactly what these idiot Republicans think is going on. Apparently, they’re accusing the Council on American Islamic Relations of trying to infiltrate the government with Muslim Manchurian interns or something. They base this on a book published by the maverick journalists at World Net Daily (not quite as prestigious as NewsMax, but they’re still doing the big work), that had white kids grow beards and “infiltrate” the Council, and then steal documents, which they claim prove that the Council is “connected to or supports terrorists [and] is running influence operations or planting spies in key national security-related offices.” As proof, they offered up a pretty standard PR and lobbying strategy document.

The Senate Majority Leader is mighty ticked off by Chuck Schumer’s assertion that the Majority Leader would have to be the one to, um, lead on health care reform and a “public option.” This chump really needs to be put out to pasture.

Joe Biden has been the most skeptical of the plan to escalate the war (or whatever the hell it is we’re doing over there) in Afghanistan by sending 40,000 more troops. For this, Arianna Huffington says he ought to resign. No, not for being an un-American traitor, but to make a stand, the way people like Colin Powell should have done before we invaded Iraq. I suppose I get her point, but I don’t think it would do much good (for one thing, Biden doesn’t seem to get much respect from anybody). It’d be better if Obama would just pick up a couple history books and decide that maybe it’d be better to declare victory and get the hell out. I mean, nothing good ever – ever – comes out of trying to occupy Afghanistan.

Oh well, the Dow’s over 10,000, so everything’s going just great again. I know my life is magically better. Michael Moore is coming up on the Today Show to talk about it. He’s no Rush Limbaugh, but I wish I could stick around to watch.

But, it’s off to work I must go.

First, it was the killer bees. Angry African devils (the Acorn and Obama of the early 90’s) stowing away on banana boats to South America, then making their way north, preparing to wipe out life as we know it here in the USA. Then came al Qaeda, who hated us for our freedom and would soon destroy our way of life unless we destroyed it first. Next, Saddam Hussein was poised to send unmanned drones packed with nuculur bombs the 10,000 or so miles from Baghdad to turn our smoking guns into mushroom clouds (or something). Next, Swine Flu would carve a swath of destruction across the United States, leaving nothing but dead, snotty bodies in its wake. And now, in what could be the final sign of the apocalypse, it’s the attack of the giant snakes. That’s right, it appears the motherf*ckin’ snakes have gotten off the motherf*ckin’ plane, and they’re coming for you, America.

U.S. Geological Survey’s biologists have just published a report detailing the ecological risks of nine species of giant non-native boas, anacondas and pythons in the United States. Already Burmese pythons are reproducing in the wilds and no-so-wilds of South Florida, with an estimated population now in the tens of thousands. But things could get a lot worse. There’s even this tidbit about threats to humans in the press release:

“Based on the biology and known natural history of the giant constrictors, individuals of some species may also pose a…risk to people….

The situation is so dire in the state that Florida Representative Robert Wexler is expected to resign from Congress today, in order to get the hell out.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking, “hell, it’s only Florida; big deal” (just kidding, Kev). But that’s just where it starts. Soon giant snakes will be slithering their way north and west, wiggling their way up sewer pipes and into your toilet, ready to strike when you get up to pee in the dark in the middle of the night.

I blame it on the gays, of course. And the fornicators, too.

But mostly the gays.

Looks like the Peace President quietly shipped an additional 13,000 moms, dads, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, daughters and sons off to Afghanistan while nobody was looking. Not to worry, though – they’re only support troops, not combat troops. I suppose I ought to just change out of my pajamas and STFU anyway, ‘cuz I need to realize what a tough job it is running the country (gee, where have I heard that before?). Of course, I either wear shorts and a t-shirt or (this time of year) sweats, not pajamas, but I reckon it’s the same thing. Yep, the words of some anonymous coward in the Obama Administration certainly seems to have pissed off “bloggers” everywhere. Not that I really care if a bunch of sanctimonious bloggers got their jammies in a twist, but it wasn’t really bloggers that the White House thinks are a bunch of uninformed adolescent crybabies. Mr. Anonymous was talking about any of us who have ever expressed disappointment with Obama. Thanks for getting me elected everybody, now shut up (but keep those campaign contributions coming).

Oh, I know. It wasn’t Obama dissing us. No, he left that to some anonymous “source” while he was off trying to pacify “the gays,” promising to end “Dont’ Ask, Don’t Tell” (and this time, he really, really means it). But, sorry, it’s still on you, Barry. It reminds me of an Arlo Guthrie song, Presidential Rag.

If you didn’t know about that one, then what else don’t you know?
Nobody elected your family,
and we didn’t elect your friends,
no one voted for your advisors…
You’re the one we voted for, so you must take the blame….

In other news, Magic Johnson has endorsed Arlen Specter. Um, that’s nice, I guess, but so what? Does Magic have any connection to Pennsylvania? I mean, he was born and went to school in Michigan and played pro basketball in LA (and still lives out there, as far as I can tell – at least, he popped up in commercials I saw last week). Oh well, Arlen has to take what he can get, I guess. Plus, Magic is black, and they’re all the rage in politics these days.

It appears than Joe Lieberman, however, has lost the all-important Ninja vote.

A man seen dressed as a ninja on the side of the road in Vernon, Conn., swinging nunchucks and yelling about wanting to beat up Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT), was arrested Saturday and released to a local hospital for psychiatric evaluation.

According to the Hartford Courant, 30-year-old Garland Eastman became calm and cooperative once police pulled out their tasers and bean bags

I thought it was illegal to pull out your bean bags in Connecticut (in public, anyway).

Speaking of pulling out your bean bags, the winner of the Ultimate Poll Dance Competition has been announced. Oh, the judges had a hard decision to make, alright, but congratulations to Barbara Dial for coming out on top. To paraphrase renowned author Bill O’Reilly, “hey, Barbie, get off that poll, and get….” Oh, never mind.

Back to work today. That sucks. Plus, I have to attend a “lunch and learn” (‘cuz it’s my group doing it, though the extent of my participation will be to try and sit still through it). And they don’t even provide lunch (which is why I’ve never gone to the other groups’ dog and pony shows). That’s no way to encourage participation. It’s like a union event without donuts.

Please, oh Mega Millions gods, let me be tonight’s $170 million winner.

They teach you a lot of bullshit in school (or at least when I was going to school back in the olden days, they did). For instance, it was gospel that Abe Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope on the train ride there. Of course, that was bullshit, and while Lincoln probably revised the speech on his way to Gettysburg (I mean, it’s not like he had an iPod, so what else did he have to do), he’d actually written two drafts of it beforehand, and even changed it up on the fly while he was giving it. Another lie was the whole George Washington and the “Cherry Tree” thing, where we were told young George chopped down the tree and was so gosh darn honest, he couldn’t tell a lie. Not only is the cherry tree story bullshit (a product of Mason Locke Weems’ – author of “The Life of George Washington, with Curious Anecdotes Laudable to Himself and Exemplary to his Countrymen” – imagination), but Washington was just as big a liar as any modern day politician (he lied to the Continental Congress about the conditions at Valley Forge, for instance, in order to get more money out of them, he and Ben Franklin passed off a common Prussian soldier named Von Steuben as a Baron and high-ranking military expert, he most likely knocked up one of his slaves – Venus – reneged on treaties, and ordered the eradication of Haudenosaunee men, women, children, and their villages – earning him the name Hanadagywus: Town Destroyer). To paraphrase Al Smith and Luther Dixon, George Washington wasn’t so big – he was tall, that’s just about all. Of course, the big lie we celebrate today is that of Christopher Columbus.

I was taught in school that, back in the late 1400s, everybody thought the world was flat, and if you sailed far enough away, you’d fall off the edge. Only Christopher Columbus was visionary enough to know that the world was round, and nobody would fund the poor guy’s expedition to prove it, but (being a brave visionary and all) Columbus persevered, and finally scraped up enough money for three ships filled with the only people willing to sail off the end of the Earth – prisoners.

That this load of crap was taken from a work of fiction by Washington Irving wasn’t enough to keep them from teaching it as “fact” in schools. Turns out, Pythagoras had pretty much figured out the shape of the Earth with his “Orb Theory” about 2,000 years earlier. In fact, navigation techniques back in Columbus’ time depended on the Earth being round. Columbus’ difficulty in getting money stemmed from the fact that he was a piece of shit liar, and not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed. His calculation of the size of the Earth was off by about 75%, and everybody knew it.

If Columbus’ ships had been filled with prisoners (which they actually weren’t; they were filled with experienced sailors), it would most likely have been because criminals were Chris’ kinds of people. After arriving in the “new world,” and being greeted with kindness and hospitality, Columbus and his pals sailed from island to island, taking slaves, raping the women, and killing the men (and the women; hell, they probably raped the men, too). The big problem seemed to be that these damn savages were holding out on the gold. Well, that, and this was apparently Columbus’ way of spreading Christianity (being the equivalent of that time’s rapture righty and a good Catholic, Columbus believed that the only way to bring about the Apocalypse was to bring Christianity to all the heathens).

They never mentioned all the raping, pillaging, killing, and slavery in school, of course (the truth being a bit unseemly for kids, I guess). And they never explained how somebody could “discover” a place that already had people living in it (not to mention that the Vikings were already here some 500 years before Columbus). No, they just told us what a brave and virtuous man Christopher Columbus was, and that we should be grateful to him for opening the door for Europeans to come on over, and we learned a line from a really crappy poem by Winifred Sackville Stoner Jr about 1492 and the ocean blue and whatnot.

But, hey, who am I to turn down a day off?

A mere nine years and two presidents into the war in Afghanistan, and things couldn’t be going better. But what to do next? More troops? Have our drones blow up a few more wedding parties? What’s a Nobel Peace Prize winner to do? To answer that question, Press the Meat has Chairman of the Armed Services Committee, Sen. Carl Levin ferocious warrior Lindsey Graham, Barry McCaffrey, and former Chairman of the Joints Chiefs of Staff, Richard Myers. At the roundtable, it’ll be the National Journal’s Ron Brownstein, WSJ hack Paul Gigot, BBC America’s Katty Kay, and former journalist Bob Woodward.

Over on Faze the Nation, it’s the US Senate version of Frank Burns, chinless ferret face, Mitch McConnell, Jack Reed, David Ignatius of the WaPost, and Iraq War cheerleader Michael O’Hanlon of the Brookings Institution.

At Fux News, whiny Weaselface Wallace looks at the economy with Steve Wynn, Chairman and CEO of Wynn Resorts,
Gov. Jennifer Granholm of Michigan, Gov. Mitch Daniels of Indiana, and Mark Zandi of Moody’s Economy.com. Then it’s a fucktacular panel of fuxheads with Bill Kristol, Nina Easton, the evil spawn of evil, Liz Cheney, and token Juan Williams. Plus the “Power Player of the Week,” Deborah Hersman, Chairman of the NTSB.

On the Goebells network, it’s Generals, Democrats, DINO’s, and thugs, as George Snufalufagus has DINO Dianne Feinstein, Rethuglican Senator Saxby Chambliss, Jim McGovern of MA, who’s introduced a bill that would require the Obama Administration to submit an exit strategy in Afghanistan, and retired general Jack “the surge” Keane. Then it’s a roundtable with Arianna Huffington, former Bush Communications Director Nicolle Wallace, Donna Brazile and George :jerk: Will.

At CNN, Fareed Zakaria talks Afghanistan, Pakistan, and the Diamond industry.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Scott Pelley hangs out with a U.S. Marine company in Helmand Province – part of Peace President Barack Obama’s troop buildup in Afghanistan. Bob Simon looks at new studies showing that athletes who suffered many blows to the head, became brain damaged (gee, there’s a news flash; they needed studies to figure that out?). And Steve Kroft reports on the Birdmen – men who don wing suits, jump off mountain tops and glide at speeds of 140 miles per hour. And occasionally wind up dead. Looks pretty cool, though.

Have a good Sunday.

I must admit, I was a bit surprised to hear that Obama had been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, but the announcement seems to have really tweaked the wingnuts, so I’m pretty much down with it. To be fair, the more “grown up” GOPers seem to smart enough not to make fools of themselves, but the loudmouth “pundits” (and idiot token Michael Steele, of course) just can’t seem to help themselves. Much like their reaction to Chicago losing the Olympics, I don’t really understand the whole “rooting against the home team” thing. Rush Limbaugh actually said he found it hysterical that he agrees with the Taliban and Iran. I mean, really? Isn’t that aiding and abetting the enemy in a time of war or something? I did like the statement from State Department Spokesperson PJ Crowley, though:

“Certainly from our standpoint, this gives us a sense of momentum — when the United States has accolades tossed its way, rather than shoes.”

Granny is off to Albany this morning for the Single Payer NY/PNHP Fall Meeting. Hopefully she won’t catch Swine Flu from any of the dirty disease vectors in attendance. Here, the dogs and I are eagerly awaiting the noon kickoff of the SU – West Virginia game (well, OK, the dogs are actually eagerly awaiting a trip to the park). After a disappointing loss last week to USF (a game we really could have won, were it not for seven – count ’em, seven turnovers), we’re hoping (though not actually expecting) for a win today. Part of our many years of shame here is the fact that we haven’t beaten WV since 2001, so it’s not only to get a win, but to take back the Schwartzwalder Trophy (named for Ben, a West Virginia native, who was center and captain of the WV football team back in leather helmet days, and is SU’s winningest – yes, that’s a real word; I looked it up – all-time coach, having racked up 153 wins in his 25 years, including our only national championship fifty years ago). Speaking of the 1959 team, they’ll be renaming the football field “Ernie Davis Legends Field” today (about friggin’ time) during the game (Ernie, the first black guy to win the Heisman Trophy, died of leukemia at the age of 23).

The game’s on at least three of my channels today, but I’m not sure if it’s blacked out around here or not (the local Time Warner cable station has it, but I don’t have cable). Fortunately, you can find almost everything on the Internet these days, and there’s always the radio. Of course, I’m fully expecting another disappointment (as an SU and Jets fan, I’ve become accustomed to disappointment), but, hey, you never know, right?

Oh well, I guess I’d better go find my power cord, ‘cuz my laptop battery is just about dead here. Have a good one.

Sure is nice to be home again, and to sleep in my own bed. I don’t think I’ll ever be much of a world traveler – not unless I get to bring my wife and dogs with me, anyway. My plan for today is to just slide through and get to the end of the day. Normally, I’d work Columbus Day to get another day off down the road, but this year, I reckon I’ll take the three-day weekend. We got some interesting information regarding the whole Swine Flu craze. Turns out, the NYS Department of Health isn’t allowing hospital emergency departments, clinics, or doctor’s offices to test for H1N1 without prior approval, and they’re rationing the tests. So, if you get a Swine Flu diagnosis here in NY, it’s really more of a guess, based on self-reported symptoms (which are a lot like symptoms of any other flu, or even a bad cold) than anything else (now I know why Cornell supposedly has 700 cases; every kid with a runny nose is probably getting diagnosed with the flu). Apparently, they wouldn’t want facts to get in the way of the declared “health emergency,” and their plans to force a vaccine on us. Fortunately, you don’t even have to bother getting a “diagnosis” from a doctor’s office. Now you can diagnose yourself online. If you say you “feel feverish,” have a cough, and have shortness of breath, you get a message that says:

Based on your answers, you probably have the flu and you might be very sick.

Call your doctor now!

Of course, you might have a cold, too. Never fear, since you need to enter your zip code, and have the option of sharing your results with “researchers,” you’ll no doubt be added to the list, adding to the “outbreak.”

This is “science-based” medicine at its finest.

Where I work, they’ve decided to interpret the DOH mandate as meaning everybody should be forced to get the vaccine even if they don’t have direct or indirect patient contact. So, a mandate from an unelected Commissioner (who, incidentally, says he’s not getting the vaccine, because he doesn’t have patient contact) is now being escalated by a non-elected sanctimonious prick head of employee health to include staff who not only don’t ever get near patients, but who don’t even work in the hospital.

So, the President seems to have won the Nobel Peace Prize. That’s nice, I guess. I don’t really recall him bringing about peace anywhere, but he does give a good speech. Since the nomination process ended in March, I think, I guess whatever it was he did, he did it the first couple of months in office. Or maybe it was all his hard work as Senator from Illinois (or maybe the Nobel committee felt bad that the IOC blew him off on the whole Chicago Olympics thing).

Well, I guess I better get a move on and get this day over with.