OK, let’s see what wonders they have in store for us today. First up, on Press the Meat, Timmuh has Jim (VP maybe?) Webb. Then the DLC’s creepy Harold Ford, Jr., good old boy (and very Christian) Mike Huckabee, and potatoheads to rival even the great Timmy’s, Republican creep Mike Murphy, and Democratic mastermind Bob “squeaky” Shrum, who had a hand in such stellar presidential campaigns as George McGovern’s, Mike Dukakis’, Al Gore’s, and John Kerry’s.

On CBS’s Faze the Nation, Bobby Scheiffer hosts ‘Governor Day,” with Kevin’s Gov, Charlie “H” Crist, our former Governor here in NY (back before they had sense enough not to get caught with expensive prostitutes), Mario Cuomo, and some former Governor from Colorado, Roy Romer. Plus Republican ‘strategist’ Ed Rollins.

At Fux News Sunday, Weaselface Wallace hosts Krazy Jon Kyl (never trust a guy without a vowel in his last name, and don’t give me this “sometimes y and w crap.” Either it’s a vowel or it isn’t – pick a side) and the Senator from CT that isn’t a weaselly asshole, Chris Dodd). Plus Fux’s ‘Power Player” of the week, horse trainer Rick Dutrow, Jr. But the guest you won’t want to miss is the ever fair and balanced Pillsbury Butt Boy himself, Karl Rove.

This Weak with George Snufalufagus brings us Joe Biden, to talk about what an asshole George Bush is, plus Poppa John Boehner, on to talk about what a bunsh of losers the Republicans have become (I wonder if he’ll cry). Then it’s a rountable with the always creepy and disgusting Peggy Noonan, the Sunday Times’ Matt Bai, political mastermind Donna Brazile and the man with nowhere else to go, George :jerk: Will.

U-boat Commander Wolf Blitzer’s Late Emission includes Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, Commerce Secretary Carlos Gutierrez, former Senator Brylcreem, Trent Lott, and Gary “Monkey Business” Hart.

Later, on 60 Minutes, I think they’re recylcing some stories this week. Scott Pelley reports on one man’s efforts to try and get the thousands of Iraqis who helped the U.S. in Iraq who are now labeled collaborators by the insurgents out of Iraq. Bob Simon visits Indonesia, and apparently somebdy out there (Steve Kroft, anyway) still gives a shit about Jon Bon Jovi.

On this week’s episode of The Tudors, the end nears for Anne Boleyn, as Henry insists that Jane Seymour (no, not that Jane Seymour) be made Anne’s lady-in-waiting. Yo, Anne, better start wearing turtlenecks, if you know what I mean.

Enjoy your Sunday.

Something odd happened to me last night. Seeing as it was Friday, on the way back from the park with the boys, I stopped off at the good old Delta Sonic to pick up a couple six packs of Middle Ages IPA. So, I go up to the cashier (who’s a cute kid, probably 22 years old, give or take), and she says to me, “is that all, honey?” So, I say yeah, and she says “that’s $9.23,” and I hand her my credit card thinking “nine bucks for two six packs that cost $7.99 each?” So she does the whole credit card thing and hands me that part you gotta sign, and says, “I just need you to sign this one, sweetie.”

Honey? Sweetie? What is this, Mel’s Diner? But this cute young girl sure don’t look like Flo.

I was trying to figure out if this was some experiment to see if a female calling a male ‘sweetie’ would be offensive in light of the whole Obama thing (didn’t offend me one bit, BTW), or if maybe that’s just how the kids talk to the old folks these days.

Either way, if she wants to charge me half price for beer, she can call me honey, sweetie, asshole, douchebag, or whatever else she wants.

Th cheap gas station is now up to $3.85 a gallon. I remember when gas first got ready to he a buck. They had to figure out how to charge you, ‘cuz the pumps didn’t have a way to go over 99.9¢. I hope they’re ready for when it hits $10 a gallon.

To quote Satchel Paige, “sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits.” This is one of the latter times.

Forgot to buy a lottery ticket yesterday. I either saved a buck, or lost $166 million. Either way, another day of work awaits. Most of this one will consist of meetings. These people love their freakin’ meetings.

Mega Millions is up to $166 million today. I’m not feeling especially lucky today, but I reckon I ought to get a ticket or two. A couple bucks is worth the daydreaming I can do until I find out I didn’t win.

Big weekend here, with SU graduation and all. Ah, seems like it was just a year ago when I was graduating myself. Oh, yeah, that’s right. I was the old guy amongst all the fresh-faced young grad students. Speaking of old people graduating, SU gave Vanessa Williams her BA this weekend, too, 25 years after she dropped out to become Miss America (funny, she’s only a couple years younger than me, but she looks a hell of a lot better; then again, she started out a helluva lot better looking than I did, so I guess it’s not so surprising after all). She also gave the commencement speech. I wonder why they didn’t ask me to give the speech last year?

Once they cleared all the riff-raff out of the Dome, SU was able to make its return to the NCAA Lacrosse tournament (they missed it for the first time in 25 years last year, having broken their string of 22 consecutive final four appearances the year before), by kicking the crap out of Canisius, 20-3. Next up is Notre Dame, down in Ithaca.

I hate Notre Dame.

Anyhow, back to work today. Bummer.

I don’t think anybody reads these things anymore, but here goes….

Press the Meat kicks us off with the will she or won’t she, should she or shouldn’t she routine that we’ll no doubt be seeing a lot of in the coming weeks, with Obama dude Chris Dodd and Clinton dude Terry McAuliffe. That will no doubt be followed by more of the same at the roundtable with Chris “chinchilla godzilla magilla gorilla” Cillizza, John “the dick” Harwood, NPR’s Michele Norris and WSJ shill Jerry Seib (whose claim to fame is being held by Iran 20 years ago). Awesome.

Over on Faze the Nation, Terry McAuliffe pops back up again, plus there’s John Edwards and Politico’s Jim Vandehei (who I think is somehow related to Art Vandelay).

Fux News Sunday picks up the theme of the day with David Axelrod, chief strategist for the Obama campaign and Clinton campaign senior adviser Howard Wolfson. There are also the usual fuxheads, and today’s power player of the week is conservative putz and actor, Ben Stein (who would probably be a better economic adviser for McCain that Carly Fiorina, but then Johnny does seem to have a thing for bottle blondes).

Speaking of Carly, she pops up on This Weak with George Snufalufagus, along with Harry Reid, and then 2/3 of the axis of drivel are together at the roundtable, as Cokie “the hag” Roberts and Sam :omg: Donaldson are joined by the WaPost’s Ruth Marcus.

CNN’s Late Emission has some guy named Barack Obama (must be a Muslim terrorist or something), plus asshole Roy Blunt (he’d be better off having Roy Blount, IMHO), DCCC Chair Chris Van Hollen, former Iraq army dude, Ricardo Sanchez, and Iraqi Ambassador to the U.S., Samir Sumaidaie.

Later, on 60 Minutes, Chiquita says it protected its employees’ bananas by paying off murderous paramilitaries in Colombia, but the families of civilians killed tell Steve Kroft the company is responsible.
Dana Priest, Amy Goldstein, and Scott Pelley, look at the horrible conditions in a U.S. government-run prison system that’s killed some of the detainees. And Morley Safer finds out if Alec Baldwin is planning on running for office.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there, and to all you kids and motherf*ckers, I hope you remembered to get Mom something nice. Have a good one.

It’s too early to be up, so I think I’ll go back to bed. Wake me up when it’s next Saturday.

Oh, and Jack Dunphy’s full of shit!

So, Friday’s finally here. I’ve learned a lot this week. For instance, I learned I kind of enjoy having an hour and ten minute commute. I suppose if I had to pay for the gas I wouldn’t be to crazy about it, but I like having the time to drive and listen to my podcasts. I also learned that it’s more fun to go to a class to learn about the things I do for a living than it actually is to go to work and do the things I do for a living. My clients at work are just too damn needy and annoying. Oh well. One more day of playtime, and it’s back to the salt mines next week. Have a good one.