It’s Friday, and I get to end the week in my favored work location. Unfortunately, my ‘supervisor’ is off today, and so I’m in line to handle any problems that arise. Somehow, I’ve gotten stuck with this sort of thing, despite only working on this side of things part time. My problem is that I tend to smile and nod and say OK a lot, even though I have no clue what I’m doing. Then I have to go and figure out how to do it. And then I get a reputation for being somebody who knows what he’s doing, so people keep asking me shit, so then I have to figure out how to do even more shit.

I do this to myself all the time. I remember when I stopped being a projectionist, and started being a ‘maintenance helper,’ way back when. The job description was basically, ‘hold the ladder and fetch tools’ (which is about all I was qualified to do, truth be told, beyond maybe replacing my brake pads, unless you had a 35 or 70 mm projector torn down and rebuilt or maybe a Xenon bulb replaced, or perhaps adjust the trim on a carbon arc lamphouse). So they asked me, “you know how to fix an ice machine?” And like an idiot, I said “oh, sure.” So I became the ice machine guy. Then I got an apprenticeship, and eventually became a Refrigeration Mechanic (still got my Journeyman card, and my EPA certification). All the while never really knowing what I was doing.

When I think about it, I realize I don’t actually know how to do much of anything. I know just enough about a lot of things to bullshit my way through. I guess I’m just too stupid or vain or stubborn or something to say “I don’t know.”

I ought to add that to my resume.