Complicated stuff like politics and health care reform and Jesus and stuff can be pretty hard for simple folks like me to understand. So, when I want something explained in more detail, I go to the experts – like Chuck Norris. And Chuck explains that had King Herod been an evil Mooslam like Barack Obama, there might have been universal health care in Judea. And Mary, armed with an affordable health care plan, clearly would have sought an abortion (I mean, do you really think Joseph bought the whole “I’m a virgin, Joe. I swear I don’t know where this thing came from” line?). So, Jesus would have never been born (because, while God is all-knowing, all-powerful, and could magically impregnate a human woman, he couldn’t have prevented an abortion), and the world would have missed out on the last 2,000 years of peace, love, and understanding (not to mention the Crusades). Even worse, we wouldn’t be getting a day off next Friday (holy crap! It’s next Friday?), and there would be no Black Friday and economy-stimulatin’ holiday shopping season. So, clearly, health care reform is very bad, and not the sort of thing Jesus and his dad would ever get behind. Thanks, Chuck. You da man!
Not that God needed the push, but the Family Research Council held a “prayercast” last night, and prayed to God that the health care filibuster be a success (they had to to all pray together, because, when it comes to health care, God doesn’t support “single prayer”). The usual pious and mentally sound congresscritters were on hand, including crazy Michele Bachman, Jim DeMint, Sam Brownback, and even one Democrat, Rep. Mike McIntyre of North Carolina, who, in a pre-recorded video message, told the crowd:
“You know, the power of prayer knows no bounds,” said McIntyre. “The true source of power is not found in the halls of congress or the chambers of the Supreme Court or the Oval Office of the west wing, but rather on our knees at the throne of grace.”
The “throne of grace,” of course, is located in a mens room at the Minneapolis/St. Paul airport.
Fortunately for God, Jesus, and Chuck Norris (not necessarily in that order) Ben Nelson is doing the big work on their behalf, threatening to filibuster health care reform if he doesn’t get a “Stupak-like” amendment – even though there seems to have been some sort of “secret” compromise.
In other abortion-related news, a judge in Oklahoma could decide today on whether to allow a law to go forward that requires the posting of information online about women who get abortions in the state. Hey, what could be wrong with that? No word on whether Oklahoma is considering a law that would post information about men seeking treatment for erectile dysfunction or not. I’m guessing no.
Well, it’s pretty damn cold out there this morning – in the single digits and still dropping a bit – so I reckon I’d better get it in gear and get going. The good news is that the mass of cold air that’s hovering over us is supposed to block that big storm heading to the Northeast, so we should miss out on all the action. I can live with that.