Damn, it’s cold out there. I left work last night during a whiteout. But by the time I got home, the snow had all melted around my house (though it was still pretty damn cold). Then I get up this morning, and everything’s covered with snow again. Plus, did I mention? It’s frickin’ cold. Supposedly this will all change tomorrow, as we’re supposed to get up over 50. I’ll believe it when I see it.

In an exercise of pointlessness, the small town of Nelson, GA has enacted a law requiring each citizen to own a gun. And when I say “require,” I mean not really.

The ordinance in the city of Nelson — population 1,300 — was approved Monday night and goes into effect in 10 days. However, it contains no penalties and exempts anyone who objects, convicted felons and those with certain mental and physical disabilities.

Other than that, though, you better get a damn gun.

I’ve actually been thinking about getting a gun myself. I mean, guns are manly, and I’m a man, so I ought to have one, right? And I live in the country, and country folk should be armed (based on all the shootin’ I hear, it’s possible we’re the only unarmed household in town). Plus, I like to drink a fair amount of beer in the evening, and what good is a drunk white guy out in the country without a gun.

Problem is, I have no idea what I’d do with a gun if I had one. I don’t really have a desire to kill anything. I’ve gone target shooting once or twice in my life, and that was kinda fun, I guess, but I don’t think it would be that thrilling to do on a regular basis (I’d probably have more fun getting a bow and an archery target).

And I’d probably do something stupid by accident, like shoot my wife (or, worse, my dog).

Then there’s the whole decision about what kind of gun to get. I can’t afford one of those really nifty cool-looking AR-15s. Damn things are expensive. And I don’t think I want a pistol. I mean, then I’d have to get a pistol permit, plus it would just seem too easy to shoot yourself with a pistol. At least with a rifle you kinda have to work at shooting yourself much above the foot. Have to kinda work your toe into the trigger and all that.

If my justification was for “protection,” I guess I’d have to go with Joe Biden’s suggestion and get a shotgun. Use buckshot, and there’s not much aiming required. Just point it in the general direction of whatever noise you hear and let it rip. There goes your intruder (or your wife, dog, cat, or mirror you blew out because you thought some creepy white guy snuck into your house and pointed a shotgun at you).

So I guess I won’t get a gun. Besides, I’m not the type to join a militia (and, given the way I eat, I’m anything but “well-regulated”).

You ever wonder why there just don’t seem to be as many miracles nowadays as there used to be? As with most everything, Pat Robertson has the answer: Ivy League Schools.

Why do miracles “happen with great frequency in Africa, and not here in the USA?” asked a 700 Club patron Ken. “People overseas didn’t go to Ivy League schools,” Robertson replied with a chuckle.

“We are so sophisticated, we think we’ve got everything figured out…. We know about evolution, we know about Darwin, we know about all these things that says God isn’t real, we know about all this stuff.”
[…]
Meanwhile, Africans are “simple” and “humble.” “You tell ‘em God loves ‘em and they say, ‘Okay, he loves me’,” said Robertson. “You say God will do miracles and they say, ‘Okay, we believe him’.”

I had no idea Africa was know for all the miracles that happen there. In fact, I’d always kind of thought that things is Africa kind of suck for most people there (once the white folks came in and exploited everything they could). But, hey, what do I know? I’ll gladly defer to Africa “expert” Pat Robertson.

Otherwise, not much is going on. We’re just trying to get ready for the Final Four. By “we” I mean “me,” of course, as I doubt that my wife is in any way aware that the FF is coming up, or that SU is in it, or – even if she did – that it is in any way a big deal. I just wish the game was on earlier. It’s very hard for me to stay up that late, even on a Saturday night. Last week was much better, ‘cuz the game was on at 4:30 and I could go watch the game with my sister and her husband while Fritzi played with his cousins.

I think I’m just gonna have to go to bed early and then wake up for the game. I just hope it won’t be a painful experience. Not many people are giving us much of a chance. And ESPN did one of their poll things the other day asking which team you were “rooting for” in the Final Four, and only in one state – NY – were more people rooting for SU than anybody else (and that was only a plurality of 44%). Not even “who do you think will win” but “who are you rooting for?”

Seems unfair that nobody likes us. I mean, it’s not like we’re Georgetown (because, of course, if we were GT, we’d have been out after the first game. “Hoya Saxa.” That’s latin for “one and done”).

Oh well, time to get back to work.