Another East Coast snowstorm is on the way (actually, it’s already here), and this time it looks like we aren’t gonna luck out and miss it. On top of the five or so inches of snow we already have (Update: more like six or seven inches by the time I left the house, and it’s the heavy stuff, too; I guess I’ll be shoveling at lunch time), it looks like we can expect another foot to a foot and a half by tomorrow morning. What with the dearth of snow so far this year, all the schools have decided to go ahead and burn a snow day, which is good news for the morning commute. None of those goddamn school buses to deal with.

If you didn’t grow up where it snows, you missed out on the pure joy of a snow day. Not only do you get a day off (even better if you had a test coming up), but you have all that snow to go out and play in. It doesn’t get much better than that if you’re a kid.

Of course, if you’re a grownup, you’re pretty much stuck going to work (unless you’re a teacher – right, Sue? – or it’s one of those superty-duperty storms where nobody goes anywhere – and I’ve been mandated to work through a couple of those in my time; damn hospitals don’t close).

Still, the snow’s pretty and the dogs love it. I’m not sure they’ll get to go out to the park today, though. I don’t anticipate the roads being all that much of a problem (one thing we know how to deal with around here is snow), but the park is technically closed, and they only plow out the dog walkers’ parking area a couple times a week.

In other news, it turns out the Orca named Tilikum who killed his trainer, Dawn Brancheau (BTW, is that a Star Trek TNG vintage uniform she’s wearing in that picture?), is actually a serial killer whale, having been linked to a couple of other human deaths.

Tourists eating poolside at a daily event called “Dining With Shamu” …

Might wanna consider renaming that.

…watched the whale drown 40-year-old Dawn Brancheau.

Tourists in an underwater viewing area saw the whale swim by, flipping the bleeding trainer over and over in his mouth.

“It was terrible. It’s very difficult to see the image,” Brazilian tourist Joao Lucio DeCosta Sobrinho, 28, told reporters.

Perhaps intelligent critters shouldn’t be kept in tanks for the amusement of humans? Just a thought. Why not put our politicians in a tank, and force them to do, oh, I don’t know, something – anything. That might be entertaining, and there’s no need to worry about them not getting enough mental stimulation, either.

Speaking of entertaining politicians, our Governor has a little problem with his “top aide” (no word on if he has a “bottom” aide, too, but rumor has it the Guv is quite the swinger, so it wouldn’t surprise me).

Gov. Paterson abruptly suspended a top aide without pay on Wednesday night and asked Attorney General Andrew Cuomo to investigate whether state police tried to “improperly influence” a woman the aide reportedly attacked.

Paterson also had contact with the woman a day before her scheduled court date to get a protective order earlier this month, his aides admit.

The woman missed her court appearance and the case was dismissed.

The possibility that the Paterson administration, and possibly even the governor himself, intervened in an assault case against a close aide is the most serious charge yet against his crumbling administration.

Hard to believe all this was going on right under Blinky’s nose. 🙄

In other news, it looks like the President will continue the “Obama Doctrine” of domestic politics. You know, the one that says, “speak loudly, but don’t carry a stick.”

The Obama administration is no longer insisting on the creation of a stand-alone consumer protection agency as a central element of the plan to remake regulation of the financial system. In hopes of quick congressional approval of a reform bill, White House officials are opening the door to compromise….

You may remember Elizabeth Warren, the TARP watchdog (and the only person even tangentially related to the government who sounds like she actually know what she’s talking about), was just slightly in favor of creating such an agency.

If the financial reform bill doesn’t establish an effective and independent consumer protection agency, Congress would be better off passing nothing at all, Elizabeth Warren warned….

Warren…said her chief concern is that financial regulatory reform legislation will suffer the same fate as health care reform — with noble principles either scaled down or negotiated away.

Silly woman. Our brave hopie-changie president would never let that happen.

The Consumer Financial Protection Agency, she said, is not optional.

“The CFPA is the heart of what makes regulatory reform work….”

“We just can’t pass a regulatory reform bill that acquiesces to the industry on every front and where everything is so watered down that nobody has to take a hard vote,” she said.

“It’s not ok to weaken the agency so much that, while everyone can vote yes and pretend to support consumers’ right to a fair deal, nothing really changes. I want a strong agency, and if there’s not going to be a strong agency, then I at least want to see an up-or-down vote on it. Let’s see a vote.”

And if it fails?

“Shame on them,” Warren declared.

Indeed.

But, hey, what’s another snow job in DC? It’s been quite the year for it.

Oh well, time to get out there and Carpe Nivis.

I keep thinking its Tuesday for some reason, but it’s not, so that’s cool. Anyhow, for those who don’t pay attention to sports-related things (and, no, I’m pretty sure a guy ice skating while wearing a pink and black sparkly outfit doesn’t qualify as sports – though he did look fabulous!), there’s a huge kerfuffle over at ESPN, which has resulted in the suspension of Tony Kornheiser “for some time.” Tony is a Long Island guy who used to be a sportswriter (he’s from Lynbrook, just like Raymond, who everybody loves), having worked at places like Newsday, the NYT, and the Washington Post. Anyhow, now he’s on a show called PTI on ESPN. At least he was, until he got himself suspended for the horrible offense of, um, making fun of the way Hannah Storm (another ESPN personality, or whatever you call those people) dresses.

“Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She’s got on red go-go boots and a catholic school plaid skirt … way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now…She’s got on her typically very, very tight shirt. She looks like she has sausage casing wrapping around her upper body … I know she’s very good, and I’m not supposed to be critical of ESPN people, so I won’t … but Hannah Storm … come on now! Stop! What are you doing? … She’s what I would call a Holden Caulfield fantasy at this point.”

First off, I’ll take looking at Hannah all day over looking at your bald shiny head, Tony. Also, I don’t know of any real man who isn’t into red go-go boots and very short catholic schoolgirl skirts – never mind tight shirts (are you sure you were never a figure skater, Tony?). And Hannah’s a couple years younger than I am, Tony (and in a lot better shape, too), and we’re both a lot younger than you are (Tony’s so old, he went to school at Binghamton back when it was called Harpur College), so back the fuck off with the “too old” shit.

OK, so Tony is a loudmouth jerk who said something stupid about a colleague. Granted, being a loudmouth and saying stupid things is kind of his job description, but you’re not supposed to be overtly sexist on the air (though I’ve heard other sports-dudes cutting on, say, Charles Barkley for his fashion choices and making fun of Terry Bradshaw’s bald pate). But then that’s kind of the nature of guys – we tend to give each other shit. It doesn’t really translate all that way across the gender lines. I mean, it used to be OK, but it’s not the man’s world it used to be. Sad, I know. But time marches on.

So, anyway, Tony, I hoped you’ve learned that there are certain things you aren’t supposed to say on sports teevee and/or radio. Add making fun of the way a woman dresses to “look at that little monkey run”, black people were “bred” to be good athletes, and “nappy-headed hoes.”

The watered-down (but better than nothing, I guess) Senate jobs bill made it past a procedural vote last night, with opponents unable to sustain a filibuster by a 4-1 vote (that is, 4 Republicans – including brand new Senator, Scott Brown – voted to end cloture, while one “Democrat” – Ben Nelson – voted to continue debate). Not a good start for you Senator Brown. I foresee many teabags in your future (and not in a Larry Craig kinda way, either – though I wouldn’t rule that out, either). Meanwhile, the Kabuki Theater know as “health care reform” continues its unprecedented run (it’s almost like an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, only not quite as insipid; close, though). The big question now, of course, is whether or not Democrats have what it takes to use budget reconciliation to pass a) crappy reform and/or b) a crappy public option. From what Larry O’Donnell keeps saying, even with reconciliation, there are a lot of procedural hurdles along the way that require 60 votes to pass. I’m not sure anybody actually knows WTF the deal is, but if there’s a chance for Democrats to cave in and/or for Joe Lieberman, Max Baucus, et al., to torpedo the process, I’m pretty sure they’ll do it.

Wannabe terrorist Najibullah Zazi plead guilty to conspiracy to use weapons of mass destruction, commit murder in a foreign country, and provide material support to al-Qaeda in Federal District Court in Brooklyn yesterday, as expected. The news that the US Criminal Justice System works and that we can try criminals in the venue where they committed their crimes sent Dick Cheney to the hospital. Don’t worry, though, the Dick is resting comfortably. If there’s anybody who deserves to be resting comfortably, it’s great American patriot and hero, Dick Cheney. May you rest in peace here on Earth, Dick, ‘cuz you’ve got an eternity in hell to get ready for.

Speaking of hell, time to get ready for work.

Jerry Ford’s cozy little cottage in Colorado is up for sale, if anybody’s interested. It’s only listed at $13 million, and from the photos, it looks like pretty nice digs. Makes me wonder what Jerry did for a living, though, to afford a place like that. I mean, wasn’t he a congressman for, like, ever, before he got the gig as Nixon’s VP (thanks to Spiro Agnew being a criminal)? And then he got to be President for a little while. Doesn’t seem like those jobs pay enough. But I suppose he wrote a book or something.

For the most part, I don’t mind winter. In fact, I dislike the real hot weather a lot more than I do the cold stuff (there aren’t any bugs, you can actually do stuff without sweating to death, and the snow covers everything up, so you don’t have to worry about complying with what your neighbors consider an acceptable level of lawn care). But now we’re getting toward the end of February, and, while it’s staying lighter a little bit longer, it still gets dark depressingly early. We’re right around our average with 85 inches of snow so far, but, statistically speaking, we’re due another 40 inches or so before it’s all over. Not a big deal, but I’m at the age where I feel it all in my bones (and in my joints).

Speaking of bones and joints, I really wish they’d allow medical marijuana dispensaries here in the Empire State. That would definitely take the edge off things, and a couple cookies before bedtime would help me sleep. Oh well, the government knows best, I guess.

It was a pretty stress-free weekend here (though not a very productive one, as I accomplished pretty much nothing). SU didn’t play a hoops game, so there was nothing much to anguish over (though lacrosse season started, with the men winning once, and the women winning twice). Now, though, it’s back to work.

It’s gonna be a Governor kinda day out there in booblehead land today. For instance, on Press the Meat, it’s MN Guv, Tim Pawlenty. Also up, David Petraeus, plus a roundtable with Washington Post Columnist E.J. Dionne, Piggy Peggy Noonan, Indiana rethuglicanMike Pence, and Chris Van Hollen.

Faze the Nation isn’t playing the gov game. All they’ve got is Colin Powell.

However, Fux News Sunday has Mississippi Guv, Haley Barbour, and Michigan governor, Jennifer Granholm. Plus Weaselface Wallace has ferret face Mitch McConnell, plus the usual fuxheads, and “Power Player” Steve Grove, Head of News and Politics at YouTube.

The Goebbels network has govbernator Arnold Schwarzenegger and PA Guv Ed Rendell, plus a roundtable with George :jerk: Will, Arianna Huffington, Matty Dowd and political mastermind Donna Brazile.

For some reason, nobody has NY Governor David Paterson. I feel bad for Dave. He inherited a big pile of crap when what he really should be doing is cutting mall opening ribbons and dropping pucks at hockey games to a round of polite golf claps – not getting booed so loudly you can’t hear what he has to say. I just wish he’d realize he doesn’t have much chance of winning, and we really can’t afford to get another Republican in office to screw things up the way Pataki did. Oh well.

At CNN, Fareed Zakaria chats with James Baker, plus Yemen’s foreign minister.

Oh, and I guess the Olympics are probably still going on, too.

In the latest effort to close the $8.2 billion budget deficit here in NY, our Guv has now set his sights (now pun intended; well, OK, maybe a little bit intended) on the state’s parks system – the oldest in this country, and one of the few things I think everybody in the state actually thinks they do right around here. Blinky has proposed closing 55 of our state’s parks and historic sites. This would save an astounding $6.3 million, reducing the deficit by a whopping 7/100ths of one percent (and arguably reducing our quality of life by about a million percent). So, let’s close the schools, close the hospitals, and close the parks. You can go to work (assuming you still have a job), and then you can go home. On the weekend, iff you want nature and recreation, you can go to the fucking mall and look at the potted palm trees and watch the trapped sparrows fly around. I think I’d better head out to the park right now, while it’s still open.

I’m sure everybody’s heard about the big “Family Guy” kerfuffle, where a girl with Down Syndrome said “…my mother is the former Governor of Alaska.” Now, of course, poor, poor Sarah Palin is all inflamed with faux indignation at this horrible swipe at her. Interestingly enough, guess what? The actress who played the character (Andrea Fay Friedman) has Down Syndrome herself. She also seems to have a sense of humor.

I guess former Governor Palin does not have a sense of humor. I thought the line “I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska” was very funny. I think the word is “sarcasm”.

In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life. My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes.

Ooh, snap. “French” bread, no less. Nice touch. :rofl2:

Besides, it’s satire. And satire’s supposed to be OK, isn’t it, Sarah? Or is that only for Rush? Lighten up, Sarah, and send Seth Macfarlane a copy of your book.

Speaking of cartoon characters, Jessica Simpson says she’ll never do nudity. :yawn:

Oh no! Where will they ever find another dumb big-boobed bottle blond broad willing to take her clothes off? Oh, I think Carrie Prejean is available.

By the way, if you haven’t heard already, Sam Seder will be doing the Young Turds again today at Noon EST.

Sam says

I’ll be talking about the Obama administration’s push to get credit for the stimulus, what a jerk Evan Bayh is and has always been and how utterly insane the GOP has become. I’ll also be talking to one of my favorite bloggers- Digby

Oh well, it’s Friday, so let’s get this party started.

Just in case you thought it was only the US arm of the Murdoch “news” empire that’s a bunch of morons, we bring you Kay Burley of Sky News (Murdoch’s News Corp. owns somewhere in the neighborhood of 40% of British Sky Broadcasting – not that anybody cares, but I need more words here to get the text to wrap properly around this picture). Burley – who is apparently Catholic, for gosh sakes – wondered just what the hell was going on with the bruise on Joe Biden’s forehead.

“What’s happened to his head?” Burley asked on Sky News. “I’m sure that’s what everyone’s asking at home…it looks like he’s walked into a door!”

Her equally brilliant co-host speculated that perhaps Joe had slipped on the ice in Vancouver (apparently they’re not aware that it’s been in the 50’s in Vancouver this week – or perhaps they thought the VP was out wandering around the “killer” bobsled run). Alas, Joe is a nice Catholic boy, and the “bruise” on his head was just his Ash Wednesday ashes. There are at least some differences between Sky and Fow, though. When Burley realized what an idiot she was, she ‘fessed up and apologized.

“I know that I am a very bad Catholic,” Burley said. “I know now that it is Ash Wednesday and I know that those are ashes on his forehead. I hang my head in shame. I’ll be back in just a moment.”

Speaking of Fox, Michelle Obama will be making her Fox debut this Saturday with Mike Huckabee (who apparently has a show; I had no idea, but then why would I?). She and the Huckster will talk about how awful it is to be fat (Kevin Smith would make a great surprise guest for this segment), though they’ll talk abotu other things, like “including what life is like at the White House.” That’s about as close as you’re gonna get to it, Mikey.

As for Michelle’s husband, he’s apparently willing to go on the Daily Show, but is apparently (and appropriately) terrified of Stephen Colbert.

“I think the President would love to,” Gibbs said when asked if President Obama would appear on “The Daily Show.” “Just maybe not Colbert,” he said.

Gibbs explained his reasoning for avoiding Colbert: “I have yet to see a politician best Stephen Colbert in an interview on his show. I mean, he’s really, really good.”

Big mistake, in my opinion. Obama could be Colbert’s new “black friend.”

First, Levi knocks up Bristol. A shotgun marriage is quickly arranged, but Sarah’s a loser, so the marriage never occurs. Then Levi disses Sarah. Sarah disses Levi. “Yes she did.” “No I di-int.” Levi does a photo-shoot for Playgirl. Now Bristol is going after Levi for more child support money.

The lawyer for Sarah Palin’s kid is scoffing at legal docs filed by Levi’s lawyer — docs claiming Levi made but a pittance over the last few years and should not have to pay $1,688.42 a month in child support – which is what Bristol wants.

Sounds a lot like an episode of ‘Trailer Park Boys.’

Speaking of trailer trash, Tiger Woods will be making a public statement on Friday. This is big news (I feel compelled to point that out, as you may, for some reason, not really give a shit).

Woods will apologize for his behavior, his agent Mark Steinberg said Wednesday. No questions will be allowed.

“While Tiger feels that what happened is fundamentally a matter between he and his wife, he also recognizes that he has hurt and let down a lot of other people who were close to him,” Steinberg said in an e-mail.

Didn’t he already do that, like, a couple months ago? I didn’t care then, so why would I care now? Although I did hear a couple of pretty good Tiger Woods jokes.

Rumor has it a certain SU alum and his boss will be attending the Georgetown basketball game tonight in DC, as Georgetown takes on…um…let me see…I had it here a couple of minutes ago. Oh well, whoever they’re playing tonight, let’s hope the Hoyas lose. Otherwise, you might find me a little grumpy tomorrow morning.

It’s less than nine months ’til election day, and hopeful candidates for statewide office are bravely making the rounds “Upstate” (which, for politicians from NYC and Long Island, is an area somewhere north of Westchester consisting basically of a few barns, trees, and lots of cows, goats, and chickens, that they’re required to pander to briefly every few years in an effort to get elected). Harold Ford Jr. was in town a couple weeks back, chiding incumbent Kirsten Gillibrand for not “spending enough time” in our area. Yes, that’s right, the person who’s lived her entire life in New York, and is from the Hudson Valley doesn’t spend enough time here. That’s in contrast to Tennessee transplant Harold, who lives in Manhattan (except for the purposes of voting and paying taxes), but has been to both Rochester and Syracuse once or twice, and has seen exotic places like Staten Island via helicopter. I really don’t think anybody’s buying what Harold’s selling, to be honest.

Speaking of Downstate politicians, former Long Island congresscritter (and failed Senate candidate himself) Rick Lazio was in town yesterday as part of his campaign for Governor. I think his message to those of us who aren’t livestock up here was that the way to solve our unemployment problem is to give more tax breaks to rich people, so that we might be able to scurry around collecting some of the crumbs that fall from their ample jowls. This, of course, is the theory that former NY Governor George Pataki (and every other idiot Republican in recent memory) espoused, which is why we have such huge deficits that have Governor Blinky (hey, where’s our scandal, anyway?) cutting health care and education. How Ricky intends to cut taxes and balance the budget is unclear.

Speaking of Blinky, his latest brilliant budget balancing brainstorm is to withhold NY State income tax refunds until after the start of the next fiscal year. In other words, if you filed a return now, you wouldn’t get your refund until after April 1st. Apparently NYS law allows them to hold your refund for up to 45 days after April 15. I gotta tell ya, Guv, this really aint gonna fly. I don’t know how much money this interest-free loan from us to you would net the State, but I can’t imagine it’s a lot, “we the people” aren’t gonna like it, and State Republicans and Democrats are gonna run away from this like it’s a Snickers bar floating in a swimming pool.

Please don’t run again, Dave.

Not to be left out, Kirsten Gillibrand also came to town yesterday. In contrast to Lazio and Ford, she held an open meeting and took questions from the local livestock folks in the audience. I’m not sure who the Republicans are planning to run against her, but I don’t think she’ll have much trouble winning a full term (assuming she doesn’t appear in a sex tape with the Governor or something).

Though they do make a cute couple, I think.

There was a big scare in Buffalo yesterday at UB’s Lockwood library. Apparently, there were reports of somebody with a gun. UB is one of my alma maters (assuming going there for two years qualifies as an alma mater), and I’m vaguely familiar with that library, having visited it on several occasions in my time there. As I recall, they had chalkboards on the toilet stall walls – great idea, too; has to pay for itself in not having to clean/paint over the graffiti every semester – and the couple times I went there to “study,” I wound up mostly reading various newspapers and scouring through the vintage Sports Illustrated magazines, trying to relive SU’s past sports glory. That was all during my first year. Once I moved off campus in my second year, I rarely bothered to make the trip to campus – let alone the library.

Going to the library really got in the way of my beer drinking.

Speaking of beer, thanks to Vernon for passing along this link to the new “Sink the Bismarck” beer from the Scottish Brewery BrewDog. It’s a quadruple IPA that comes in at 41% ABV (that’s alcohol by volume). I believe that makes it somewhere in the neighborhood of 72 proof. 72 proof beer? What’re you supposed to do, invite a few friends over and do shots? It sure would alter a game of quarters (or Buzz). Something tells me I’d better stay the hell away from that – it could be fatal.

By now, everybody’s heard the earth-shattering news that Evan Bayh has decided to retire from the Senate because of all the partisan rancor. There’s some speculation that he’s thinking of running for President, but I figure it means there’ll be a new sex tape coming out any day now (possibly featuring Bayh in a compromising position with John Edwards). My guess is that Bayh’s a bottom.

A “secret raid” in Pakistan has netted us another “#2” guy – this time the supposed Taliban number two man and top commander, Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar (who I thought was rumored to be dead after a drone attack last week). A Taliban spokesman, however, said “no you di-in’t.” So, we shall see.

Oh well, I think I’ll go try and figure out what to give up for Lent. I’ve narrowed the choices down to beer, and work. Unfortunately, I need to work to afford the beer, and I need the beer to make work bearable. Kind of a Sophie’s choice.